love you later | yeonbin ✓

031

He ends up spending most of the day in his room, only popping out for dinner.

Yeonjun is quiet, already sitting at the kitchen table, his eyes only fluttering up briefly when Soobin enters the room. His quiet hey is rough around the edges, his nose red, and Soobin hates that he knows Yeonjun has been crying. His chopsticks are poking around his ramen, clearly a dinner choice out of necessity more than anything else. On any other occasion, Soobin would have used this opportunity to cook something nicer, but he lacks the energy so he finds himself with a matching cup across the table from Yeonjun. They eat in silence, and even though it's not exactly uncomfortable, Soobin feels uneasy anyway.

He wants to ask Yeonjun if he's okay, what he's been up to, wants to let him know that they can spend some time together or even sleep next to each other if that will help. But he's too on edge, scared of spilling all his darkest secrets, and so he keeps his mouth busy slurping up his noodles. Before he's done, Yeonjun excuses himself, says he's tired. It's barely after 8 pm, and it's all too easy to taste the lie in his words, but Soobin only nods and wishes him goodnight.

The next morning, Yeonjun has almost returned to normal. He's back in his fancy, half-unbuttoned dress shirts, smokey eyeshadow on his lids, rings and bracelets decorating his hands. He acts like nothing is wrong, except for the fact that he keeps his distance from Soobin now. He doesn't reach out, only talks the bare minimum when Soobin stumbles into the kitchen, leaves to lock himself inside the study. For the first time in ages, the door is firmly shut.

Frustration hits Soobin like a tidal wave. He's annoyed, and he doesn't even really know why. Just the day before, he wanted this, craved the distance to get himself back on track and sort himself out. It wasn't Yeonjun's fault that he caught on and complied; if anything, it was nice of him to give Soobin space. And yet, Soobin feels a fire burning in his stomach, anger taking over like a wildfire. First, he is annoyed at the way the door is shut in his face, a clear sign to stay away. Then, he gets angry at Yeonjun, at his words how none of this meant anything. Later, it fades into glowing embers, only anger at himself remaining. He can't fault Yeonjun for distancing himself, not when Soobin hasn't made a single attempt at reaching out and fixing things.

And yet, he can't keep his moods under control. They still eat together, still work together when necessary, have spent some hours in the greenhouse working in silence. This time, the silence is filled with uncomfortable tension, makes Soobin want to abandon the plants and escape outside so he can finally breathe again. He doesn't, but maybe he should have because all it really does is make his mood worse.

He's cold, the iciness in his voice making even himself shiver, keeps his answers short and to a bare minimum. It's not fair, and he knows it, knows he's fucking up and making everything worse right now, but Yeonjun endures it, puts up with it. Until he suddenly doesn't.

"Okay, what is up with you?" he snaps at Soobin who is doing the dishes after dinner that night.

Soobin flinches, doesn't expect Yeonjun to lash out at him like that. In retrospect, he should have seen it coming. Yeonjun has been patient with him, unbearably so, to the point that Soobin felt crushed under the guilt each time Yeonjun said or did something nice for him and all he gave him were short replies. He'd gotten too used to Yeonjun's kindness, to his patience that had grown over the last few months, but something about this feels similar to their arguments when he first arrived. Maybe that's why he can't stop himself from striking back.

"I don't know what you mean."

"Oh, cut the bullshit, Soobin," Yeonjun barks out, staring at him. Soobin avoids his gaze, focuses on the dishes in the sink that his hands are washing mechanically. Yeonjun leans against the counter next to him, his arms crossed in front of his body, and his anger radiates off of him in waves that hit Soobin full force. "You've been strange ever since Wooyoung and San left. At first, I thought maybe it was that, but it's been a week now and nothing has changed. You barely talk to me and when you do, all I get is one-word replies."