When The Sun And The Moon Meet

Chapter 3: anchored

A goddamn splitting headache and a random ass room he's never seen before in his entire life.

Matt groans when he hears shushed voices arguing back and forth, just about to tell Chris and Nick to shut up. Everything was too much. The vibrations of their voices that made his head pound harder, the bright light shining off posters, and the room literally spinning. After his groan of disapproval everything got quiet.

He opened his eyes fully now, starting to sit up with pure confusion. Things, like they usually always do, got worse. The duo before him was not Chris and Nick. His eyes immediately caught on to fierce red hair and he started remembering bits and pieces of last night.

A baseball bat? The thud when it hit the ground. The thud when he himself hit the ground. Bright bright lights dancing. A kind face surrounded by red. Encouraging words. Leaning onto someone like his legs couldn't work.

Matt's heart was in his throat now as his breathing quickened. No, no. It wasn't his heart in his throat, it was vomit. He gags.

"Use the bucket, please!" A calming voice calls, holding it under his chin. Matt's in no mood to argue so he complies. Once he does he hears a little gag, "God I might throw up too."

"Let's get some water in you man, it'll help you feel better," A deeper voice speaks to him, messing around with something in the distance. Matt hears his footsteps coming closer.

"No, get away from me, what the hell," Matt groans, his head still lazily leaned over as he pushes the bucket away from him. The girl above him doesn't shy away, nudging the bucket back to him just in case. These are literal strangers, Matt worries.

He's up on his feet immediately, tripping all over himself from the sudden change. Oh god what if they poisoned him? What if they're fans and this all turns public? His mind runs wild with all the possibilities as he searches for any exit. When he sees one he scrambles, going up the steps like a flash of light. Out the door he went, feet slamming against the pavement.

Matt feels all over his pockets, looking for his phone. He lets out a sigh when he realizes he didn't lose it. From his lock-screen though he finds multiple notifications, nearly all being missed calls from Nick.

God he didn't know if he could slow his breathing down enough to talk to his brother. Maybe the familiar voice could help though, even if it was only a little bit.

"Nick?" He breathes out, a shaky voice. He just knew his knuckles were white from how tight he was holding the phone.

"Matt! I've been calling you since this morning, it's 5PM what the hell have you been up to." Matt had to pull the phone away from his ear.

"Nothing," He sighs "Just slept a while."

Nick is silent. And then, "What happened?". His voice is more gentle this time. Leave it to Nick to be able to read him like a book.

"Im literally fine, just tired."

"No you're not," He sternly says, trying to get the truth. Matt doesn't know what to say anymore. "Do I need to come over?"

"No," He blurts out quickly.

"Yeh. I'm coming over." At this, Matt starts to quicken his pace.

"Well, I'm not even home, so," He says without thinking.

"Matt, where the hell are you then?"

"Just don't worry about it Nick," Matt raises his voice and immediately regrets it.

"Me and Madi are on the way, if you're not there I'll start a damn search party."

"Yeh, yeh," Matt can't help but roll his eyes.

"I mean it." He harshly states, hanging up.

Matt is practically running to his house now, knowing that Nick had probably been on the way long before their call. He needed to brush his teeth and change, anything to get the smell of last night off of him.

When he finally neared the driveway, there sat Madi's car. Matt nearly groaned when he saw his brother step out. Madi seemed to open her door too, but Nick waved her off.

"Where's the van?" Nick questions, taking in Matt's appearance. Matt tries to slip by him, not wanting him to get a whiff of what he was doing last night. He fumbles for his keys, then sticks them in the door before being hit with a memory.

"The house is kind of a wreck, I don't think we should-"

"It's only been a day, c'mon Matt."

"No, I really just don't-" He tries again but Nick pushes past him to the door, mumbling.

They're both taken aback by the sight. The Christmas tree was on the floor, surrounded by pieces of glass from various ornaments. He could still remember the thud. The more he takes it in, the more shallow his breathing gets. This sight seemed to represent something, like giving up, or losing all hope. It was exactly what he had done last night. Plastered at a party full of people, people who all had phones, that all had cameras. He can see the posts now, "Matt Sturniolo got drunk at a party" or perhaps "Matt fell asleep at a stranger's house". He felt physically and mentally sick, overwhelmed by guilt that any second now their career could be down the drain, all because he was upset and decided to get wasted.

"Matt. Matt," His brother calls. His brother. Someone who could be ruined if this ever gets out. But he's brought into comforting arms, and somehow all those thoughts drift away just a tad. Nick smelled the alcohol, but kept his mouth shut. Now was not the time. "Focus on your breathing."

Somehow those words make Matt desperately hold back a sob, which still manages to escape. Same goes for his tears, pouring out hot all over Nick's shoulder. He lets out muffled sorry's, identical to the way he did last night. He can't help it, he really can't. Nick just holds him tighter.

Later, Nick insists for him to go get a shower. But when Matt sees himself in the bathroom mirror he can't help but let his eyes well up with tears once more. He almost wanted to run into Nick's arms again, but quickly stopped himself. Don't be a burden, don't be a burden.

His brother sits in the living room, on the phone with Chris. He tells him something's up with Matt, something really horrible. They had dealt with the anxiety attacks, or even little instances where he needed comfort, but this was something entirely different that Nick still hadn't gotten to the bottom of yet. So, trying to help as much as he could, Chris got an Uber.

Now, the living room seated Chris and Nick, both giving Matt wary glances when he finally got out of the shower.

"Hey kid," Chris spoke softly, walking over to Matt and pulling him in his arms with a grin. Matt sighs, letting himself be squeezed. He appreciated it, he really did. But god he didn't like the feeling of guilt, and that was what his mixed emotions had chosen to feel at the moment. "Do you wanna talk about it?" Chris asked, pulling away from him.

"Maybe later, I just..." He trails off, looking at the ground.

"It's fine Matt, let's just watch a movie or something," Nick suggests, gesturing to the spot on the couch beside him. He complies, immediately snatching the remote away from Nick with an amused smile.

Suddenly a plastic bag is set into his lap. "Got us some snacks," Chris explains. When he looks into the bag he finds some miscellaneous items, as well as his favorites.

"Thanks," Matt smiles, only later realizing that Chris used this as a distraction so he could steal the remote.