Hopeless but hoping...

15.

I'm not afraid of what's below; what going to happen when I hit the bottom.
I'm afraid of the falling.
I'm afraid of the free fall.
I'm afraid of the feeling of having nothing in that instant.
I'm not afraid of death, love or the ground.
I'm afraid of the nothing in between.
I'm afraid of the loss.
I want to love. I want to hit the ground.
But the fall.
The fall terrifys me.