Jammie's random oneshots

You're coming back (and its the end of the world)

Ao3 saw this first >:3c

Hi guess who's actually posting a fanfic!

I genuinely started this ages ago at 2 in the morning while listening to Mitski on the toilet in the dark and I reread it again recently and just added like, 700 more words (it was at 800 last time I stopped writing and now all of a sudden it's at 1500?!)

This is Nightbow because I adore them so much

If there's any mistakes feel free to tell me in the comments!

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Something in Rainbow Steve ached, something deep in his chest. Something told him, deep inside, that he was missing something every day. If you asked him about it, he would deny it with his whole heart. 'Nothing is wrong!' He lied to himself. Every morning waking up alone felt wrong, as if he expected something to be there with him, and yet there never was. Oftentimes, he wasn't even sure how he ended up there.

And yet, day by day, he carried on. He carried on until the feeling settled deep in his bones, until it was so ingrained into his being that it felt null. 'Everything is fine' He lied, and would continue to lie until he could lie no longer. He lied to himself, even when he was struggling to sleep on those sleepless nights, when he instinctively reached out for a body that was not, and would never be next to him.

'I'm alright.' He would assure himself, after those selfish moments he would indulge the feeling clawing out of his throat until he was left a sobbing pile on the floor.

If you asked him what happened, he would readily answer 'I don't know.'

But he knew.

He knew what this feeling was, he knew what it was but couldn't force himself to get rid of it.

It bubbled up, more often than not. It forced him to take a minute, to calm himself down, to lock his feelings back up, because he would not, could not, afford these feelings. Not when he had yet to complete his duty, not when everything he knew was on the line. It locked his body up, making him freeze and unable to respond in anything but a shaky, cracking voice.

If you were to ask him if he was okay, he would nod and leave on shaking legs. He'd ask you not to follow if he could, after all, who would want to see the saviour crying to himself over nothing but a broken heart.

The feeling poisoned his veins, leaving them burning inside of him. Whittled his bones until he could barely support himself. Sapped away at his mana until he could barely even lift water up. Crumbled his lungs into powder until he couldn't breathe a single breath. Made him choke up on his sobs until his throat constricted and he felt light headed.

Surely, this would pass with time, right?

It never did.

The feeling always amplified every day, no matter what he did. They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder, and yet closeness never made the feeling lessen. He couldn't figure out how to make this feeling go away, and by Lord, he had tried when he found out. Nowadays, he's learned to live with it, not quite accepting the feelings nor running from them.

But he didn't know what to do when the slightest glimpse of him made his heart flutter wildly. When the slightest glance, with that knowing look in his eyes, always forced the feeling out faster than he could push it back. Rainbow Steve truly did not know what to do, for he was in love with the one person who he quite possibly should never have even had a civil conversation with.

The Nightmare King.

Rainbow Steve didn't know how this had happened, much less escalated to this point, but he knew that it should have stopped a long, long time ago. It should have stopped before the soft touches, the secret conversations hidden in passing glances, the genuine talks that were always full of laughter and care. It should have stopped before the longing looks, as if any of this was affecting Nightmare Steve nearly as much as it was affecting him.

They never touched outside of their private meetings, especially when they were locked in battle on opposing sides. No matter how close the two of them got to each other, neither of them had yet to lay a finger on the other. Perhaps it was their unconscious way of understanding that neither truly wished to harm each other. Perhaps it was a fully conscious effort for Nightmare Steve to not bruise Rainbow Steve with something as simple as a punch. Rainbow Steve wasn't sure, and he would never bring it up in fear of ruining their precious moments.

The feeling always washed over him in a tidal wave not unlike a tsunami, or perhaps a hurricane that swept him off his feet. It spread through his entire body, lighting him up from the inside as it burst from his bones. It grew from a warm hum inside of him to a feeling that burnt him until his insides were nothing but char. It made him burst out every time they met once more.

During their meetings, it passed quickly, slowly getting dissipated as rough, scarred fingers made their way through Rainbow Steve's hair. They always met in quiet places, places where no one else would be able to find them. The two of them often did nothing but talk. Talk about their day, about their friends - in Nightmare Steve's case, minions. These were the only times that either of them ever managed to touch. They were always warm and gentle touches, lulling Rainbow Steve into security that was missing from his life, caused by the very man holding him so close.

Other times, it built up. Crashing waves violently pushing and pulling him under water until he was drowning in emotion, unable to surface and take a breath. It built up until he suffocated from the weight of his feelings, the pressure pushing the air out of his lungs. No matter what Rainbow Steve did, it never calmed the storm inside of him, only subduing when he finally got to talk to Nightmare Steve night after night.

Rainbow Steve was at a loss at what to do. He was stuck in an ever infuriating loop, where no matter what he did, or what he tried to do, his feelings only grew more.

Oftentimes Nightmare Steve just held him as they gazed up at the skies. They relished in each other's warmth as the stars watched them from above. Rainbow Steve didn't know if Nightmare Steve knew what he was doing to him, he often wondered if the feelings were genuine, if the Nightmare King had truly fallen for his enemy sworn to destroy him. Some days it seemed so impossible, like it was just some ploy to get rid of the last thing keeping him from owning the world. Other days, Rainbow Steve truly believed that Nightmare Steve had fallen for him as well. Perhaps it was a coincidence that on those days he would be granted a proper kiss or two. Each kiss only served to drag Rainbow Steve further into the depths.

Sometimes Rainbow Steve would fall asleep in those precious moments. He never willingly did it, always wanting to savour every moment he has with Nightmare Steve. Eventually at some point in the night, Nightmare Steve would encourage him to fall asleep, speaking to him in soft lulling tones, reminding him that they can continue their conversation the next night. It was always the worst part of the nights, knowing that the end of their conversation was near and it was due to his inability to stay awake. It was always the best part of the nights, with how carefully he was treated, so gently that he couldn't help but fall asleep no matter how hard he tried. Spoken to so lovingly that he could truly believe that Nightmare felt the same.

The next mornings, he often awoke in his bed, tucked in with care, not knowing how he got there, and never with Nightmare Steve by his side.

The worst part is that Rainbow Steve knew that, if he chose to give into his feelings, he might even just be happier. If he truly chose Nightmare Steve and committed to him, neither of them would be stuck in only being able to truly talk when the world is asleep. And yet he refused, simply because he was too scared. He didn't know how his friends would react, whether he'd be shunned for it or not.

So instead Rainbow Steve hid. Hid in the depths of the woods, hid his heart in the coldest corners of the world to not let his friends know an inkling of his feelings. He knew it wasn't truly working, especially with the worried looks that Sabre gives him when his breath starts to speed up, or the way the room often chills when Light Steve walks in on one of his fits. They were nice enough to not bring it up but he knew that it would happen eventually, they would confront him and it would all fall apart.

But until then Rainbow Steve would pretend that everything was okay. It was alright.

Even despite the perpetually growing ache in his heart that demanded his attention.