Horns Over Heels (Dave X Karkat)

[S] Karkat: Freak The Fuck Out

I hate Sburb University.

It's stupid, it doesn't make any sense, and I don't want to be class fucking president.

But as I'm in the bathroom my phone starts buzzing with message after message. I ignore it at first, still fuming about Sburb University. Who decided we needed college anyway? Is that the next step after you destroy your universe?

But then it gets fucking unbearable to listen to, and outside the bathroom door Rose Lalonde is banging the door and yelling that she needs to throw up.

I rush out of the bathroom, not in the mood to get thrown up on for another tenth time.

I go down the hallway and I see what I know is the door to Dave's room, his bedroom. I try to ignore thinking about Dave fuckass Strider altogether but it's hard when you're in his home at his party. And when your fucking phone won't stop blowing up. Sitting in the corner I open a new Pesterchat, it's a group chat called... "karkles for president":

TG: yo so karkat wants to be class president
TG: well more like i want him to be
TG: so i gathered up all his troll friends to tell you all first so we can all mutually agree to vote for him
TG: then we can move from there
GA: Alright
AA: 0k
GA: No One Else Will Care Enough To Compete Against Him
TA: speak for yourself ii would just to piiss off kk
CA: you wwouldnt evven wwin sol evver since wwe arrived in this univverse you care about nothin but sex
AG: You would know a8out that more than anyone!!!!!!!! ;:::)
CA: wwhatevver
CA: literally wwhavver
CA: sol and i havve nevver been together in that wway
TA: ed you liiterally had a dream where you had a threesome wiith ga and that rose human
TG: whoa what
TG: that is a lot of information
CA: i trusted you sol :(
GA: He Already Told Me
GA: Where Is Karkat By The Way?
GA: He Is The One Running For Class President If I Am Not Mistaken

Three people are typing at once when I get to the end of the stream of messages. I don't reply.

I don't want to talk to any of my troll friends, I just want to talk to Dave. He must really want this for me. I'm wondering if maybe under that coolguy facade, with his long stupid cape and his sunglasses practically glued to his fucking eyeballs, whom everyone seems to like now... He cares about me in a way? Could that be true?

I can't think of a reason he should want to be with me anyway.

Even though they're my friends, that group chat wouldn't be blowing up so much if it was me who made it. I'm not Dave.

I go back to the living room where I see a group of drunken trolls and humans alike compete against each other in Guitar Hero.

Dave is on the recliner watching Nepeta absolutely shred it in the game. It's a little impressive how good she is at it.

"Karkat, there you are." he says and then pauses to sip his beer in a red solo cup. "Are you okay? You've been acting like mad weird tonight."

"I'll be your stupid class president." I say at once. "Or I mean, I'll run for it. Against Sollux and whoever the fuck else. I'll do it." My determination seeps through my voice. It was a decision I hadn't come to in my head, but spilled out as soon as I saw the person I'm flushed towards.

"Cool." Dave replies, and then turns his attention back to Nepeta's mad skills.

"Karkitty, hi!" she greets me mid game, not breaking her focused gaze from the screen. "Are you going to play as well? It would be purrty pawsitively wonderfurr if you did!"

"That is way too many fucking cat puns at once. And though I'd crush you all at Guitar Hero, I think I'm actually gonna head out soon..." I rub my arm and meet an expression on Dave's face I'm not used to seeing him wear.

He frowns at me. "Already? But we have so much catching up to do, aren't you having a good time?"

"Yeah, I just..." I look around to make sure no one else is listening. Nepeta and the others are all focused on Nepeta's game. "I don't really think this is my scene."

"Okay dude. But..." he trails off, and I don't think I've ever seen him so flustered and embarrassed, even with his sunglasses concealing his eyes. "At least let me drive you home."

Wait, what was it called when humans drive, what is the machine called again...

"In a car, Karkles." he reads my mind, and suddenly I realize how dumb I must be looking, completely and utterly confused. "You're gonna have to get used to human terminology, dude. The trolls might out number me but it seems like in this world that doesn't matter."

I fold my arms over my chest. "I'm sure there will be a class on humans. Did you get your schedule yet?" I'm asking as Dave digs his car keys out from his pockets and tells John he'll be back in a little bit.

"Nah, we get em tomorrow. What's your major?"

"My what?" I furrow my eyebrows. "I don't even know what that means, Strider."

He laughs, the kind of laugh I can't get enough of. We head to the front door and he presses a button on his keys which I can only assume is to unlock his car.

"Wait-" My mouth drops against my will. "That's your car?"

It's some sports vehicle, and I don't know anything about cars but my best guess is that it's expensive as shit, by the looks of it. It looks fucking cool.

"Yeah. Hop in," he opens the passenger door for me. Who knew Dave Strider could be a gentleman.

While we're getting in he explains to me what a seatbelt is and how to put it on, and then he turns the car on just as I hear a tap on my window. It's Sollux.

Dave rolls down my window to see what he wants.

"You're leaving, KK?" he looks kind of pissed. "Without an answer about rather or not you'll run for class president? I need to see who I'm competing against."

"He's running, so good luck." Dave starts backing up the car and my stomach turns, slightly afraid of being inside this strange machine.

"Wait! Dave, you got any condoms?" he yells over the engine as Dave backs into the road and speeds off.

I'm holding on for dear life while Dave heads to the campus and explains to me that even though he lives with his Bro, he also has a room on campus that he shares with John Egbert. When asked why he has two places to live, he doesn't give a straight answer and seems just a little too secretive about it.
When I get more used to his outrageous driving, all the windows down and the wind blowing my black hair every which way, I open the "karkles for president" chat:

CG: YEAH IM RUNNING
CG: SOLLUX IS RUNNING TOO
CG: ANYONE ELSE RUNNING?
GC: WHO TH3 FUCK C4R3S SUR3LY NOT M3 1 COULD C4R3 L3SS 4BOUT TH1S CL4SS PR3S1D3NT BS :/ BL4RGH!!
TA: ju2t puttiing thii2 on record ii dont really giive two 2hiit2 eiither ii ju2t know kk want2 iit lol
TA: for real though who ha2 a condom
AA: 0_0

When Dave walks me up to my dorm my heart starts pounding with anticipation, knowing he probably won't say yes, but I have to try. I have to ask him to come in. If I don't I will always regret it. This is my chance.

I turn to him and just give him a blank, stupid stare and expect him to stay without me even asking.

"So, see you in class." he says, turning away and waving a hand goodbye. He makes it halfway done the stairs and checks the new messages in the group chat before I have the guts to interrupt his leaving and blurt out:
"Wait!"

He stops mid step. He slips his phone back in his pocket. He waits.

"D-do you wanna come inside for a bit?" I force myself to say. My cheeks are hot. I feel a bit light headed from the anxiety.