"𝚟𝚒𝚡𝚎𝚗" | 𝚙. 𝚓𝚊𝚌𝚔𝚜𝚘𝚗

𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚕𝚞𝚍𝚎

ESTELLA GUAN NEVER thought she was unique. She wiled away her time in class, studied under her father's watchful eye at home, and would rather spend her time outside than waste away within suffocating walls.

She spent an embarrassingly long time looking at herself in the mirror (like a normal girl, she thought) despite her friends insisting she looked fine. She didn't think of herself as pretty (again, her friends said she was, but Estella thought they were only saying that to make her feel better).

She didn't think she was all that loyal or kind either. She'd saved those traits for people who wanted to be heroes.

She prided herself on her cleverness. Years of strict rules only taught her to avoid rather than listen. Hurtful words that once stung like acid settled on her tongue and melted it to become silver.

She moved nimbly and trickily, years of sneaking out aiding every step. She knew how much noise a floorboard would make, the technique to the lightest of steps, and if need be, the ability to talk your way out of a tricky situation.

Things she had noticed about herself were things other people didn't. How she understood when it was the right time to smile, to laugh, to sympathize. It was easy. It was simple.

She knew the world around her. She saw the smallest reactions, the most minute of changes.

Others were dolls. Dolls with personality, because they only moved when played with. Sometimes, dolls didn't behave how you wanted. That was okay. Next time, just make them obey.

Others were dolls. Dolls, until you became a playmate. To her, a playmate was someone that had a life as complex as her own, someone that could move the dolls and still move when she wasn't playing.

Dolls could become playmates.

They just have to prove that they were real.

She did not believe in pride. She could learn from her mistakes and knew that flattery could get you very far. It gave her a near-perfect reputation with authority figures, the rule makers, if you will.

The girl, unfortunately, could not keep her track record completely clean when she hung out with someone like Percy Jackson.

The boy was a trouble magnet. When she had first seen him, she had found him rather strange. His eyes glittered a sea green that reminded Estella strongly of nostalgia. Happier times. His eyes were so unique compared to her plain brown ones.

She was fascinated.

When she had first put on her innocent smile (the facade she had chosen to take up in 4th grade), Percy had stared at her and walked away. She had been so gob smacked that she persisted.

Percy had ignored her so many times, she broke character. She remembered the way his eyes had widened in surprise when she yelled at him in frustration. She had gotten unnecessarily upset that day.

She felt sorry for that, Estella thought now.

Everyone had looked at her. Her innocent, goody-two shoes character was ruined by a moment of anger. She felt their stares like a thousand weights pressing onto her back. Every whisper after that moment felt like a mockery of her, even if it wasn't about her.

She had cried at home that day. Her father scoffed at her. Estella had once resented him for that, but he was right, no matter how much it hurt. It was a small matter in the grand scheme of things.

The air of confidence she had once displayed at that school died out. The people that once swarmed her had thinned out, and she was left alone.

Whether it was the rumors or her 180 change in personality, she didn't know. Maybe they thought she would suddenly go psycho.

The day after, she sat alone for lunch for the very first time in her life. That day turned into a week, alone, before the boy with the fascinating sea-green eyes sat by her.

"Hi." He had said awkwardly.

Estella couldn't help but be bitter in that moment, shooting a dark glance at him.

That was until he began to sit by her every single day. At first, she was angry because Estella thought this was pity. She hated that.

But dislike morphed into a pleasant feeling of knowing that Percy would always be sitting with her.

'Pity wasn't so bad.' She thought hopefully.

The awkward silence turned to spirited conversations, rapid-fire French (one-sided, because Percy couldn't speak French to save his life, but they both found it funny), and a gossip session.

When they learned that they shared ADHD and dyslexia, they only got closer.

When Percy had gotten expelled at the end of the year, she had begged her father to let her go with him. She was thankful that her father had such high expectations for schools, because he let her.

Percy had been exuberant. He never had someone willing to switch schools for him.

When the pretty Asian girl with the deep brown eyes had talked to him in that fake peppy tone, he had stared at her incredulously. She couldn't have been serious?

She had kept on insisting to talk to him, which aggravated him at first.

'Get rid of that weird tone, then we'll talk!' He thought, irritated.

He hadn't expected her to explode on him, though. As soon as the string of harsh words left her mouth, she seemed to regret it. Something Percy could only describe as paranoia had entered her face.

Eyes that flicked everywhere, as if searching for reactions and movements. Those eyes settled on his face. On him.

He hadn't thought much of it before, but after seeing her alone, it reminded him of himself. Sitting alone, always.

Being the slight pushover he was, he sat with her. Every single day. After the initial coldness, Percy had never had more fun in his life. They began attaching at the hip.

Group projects, trips to their lockers, recesses, field trips... they did everything together. Sometimes, when they met up outside of school (always on the weekends, apparently her dad was super strict), and Percy thought that this was what a real friendship felt like.

And so, when they began following each other, school to school, that became the start of 'Estella and Percy'.

When teachers called attendance, they called 'Estella Guan and Percy Jackson'. Not separately. Always together. Their last names didn't even match up alphabetically, they were just always together.

When Estella was whisked away by her other friends, Percy always trailed her with an annoyed yet resigned look.

When Percy was put into detention, Estella snuck in to visit him with blue Jolly Ranchers and blue raspberry gum. Percy loved her for that. 

Blue candy was his weakness, he joked sometimes.

"Sure, chouchou*." She would respond.

When it was summer, they always asked their parents if they could go on vacation together. Estella's father always said no. Percy's mom always said yes.

"Why don't you sneak out, Stelle?" Percy asked.

She had responded with a shake of her head. "I can't stay gone for too long. He'd notice and I'd get in even bigger trouble."

Percy didn't want Estella to get in trouble, no matter how much he also wanted her to go see Montauk with him.

"Someday," he promised her, "I'll show you the cabin we rent in Montauk, by the sea."

"I'd like that, thanks, Perce." Estella grinned.

They had spent the rest of that day sipping blue milkshakes on a rotting bench in the park. They watched the clouds and talked 'til the sun went down. They didn't get bored. Estella got yelled at for staying out too late, but it was worth every second.

She once hoped everyday was going to be as good as that one.

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*In google translate, chouchou directly translates to 'pet', but here, it is used as a form of endearment. I meant it for Stelle to Percy as 'favorite person' sort of thing, but also please set aside it means cabbage as well :)