Twilight Incorrect Quotes

2- Incorrect Quotes

*2:38 in the fucking morning*

Bella: *bursts through the door of the Cullen household.* "Do different blood types taste different and why?!"

Emmet: *from the kitchen* "Yes!"

Jasper: *from upstairs* "Cus it's the amount of iron in the blood, it's like sweet and sour stuff!"

Bella: "Thank you!"

Edward: "OH MY GOD BELLA GO TO SLEEP."
---
Bella: "I'm cold."

Alice: *gives her a jacket.*

Jacob: "I'm cold."

Edward: "I don't control the weather, the fawk- also fuck you, you're a walking heat pad."

---
Alice: *states at Bella intently*

Jasper:

Jasper: "I know she's hot, calm down your gay."

---
Edward: *talking to Bella* "If being gay isn't contagious, then why do I feel theings when I see Jacob in just shorts."

Bella:

Alice:

Emmett:

Jasper:

Rosalie: "So who's gonna tell him?"

---
Emmett: "Dude you've been single for the last 8 decades, when we set you up you always reject them bro."

Jasper: "Yah! And Bella ended up dating Alice, ya twat."

Edward: "Stop setting me up with girls then!"

Rosalie: "Well, we feel bad for yo-"

Edward: "I'M GAY."

Emmett:

Jasper:

Rosalie:

Bella: *in the distance* "KNEW IT!"

---
Bella: "YOU'RE A LYING PIECE OF SHIT-"

Edward: "AT LEAST IM NOT A CHEATER."

Esme: *grabs the monopoly board.* "I think that's enough for tonight."

---
Emmett: "If I punch myself, and it hurts, am I strong or weak?"

Jasper: "Weak."

Edward: "Strong."

Rosalie: "A fucking dumbass is what you are."

---
In the cafeteria

Rosalie: *taps the table in patterns*

Bella: *taps back*

Emmett: "What are they doing?"

Jasper: "They're communicating through morse code."

Edward: "Shhh, it's getting interesting."

Bella: *smirks while tapping.*

Rosalie: *gasps and stands up.* "YOU TAKE THAT BACK."

---
Jacob: "Is there a cactus where your heart should be?"

Bella: "What's up your ass this morning?"

Edward: *walks in* Morning.

Bella: "Oh.. nevermind."

Jacob: "WAIT NO!"

---
Carlisle: *Laughs* "Babe, you had a crush on me? That's embarrassing-"

Esme: "We're married."

Carlisle: "Still."

---
Rosalie: "Did it hurt when you fell-"

Alice: "From heaven? Wow, I didn't think you were such a flirt-"

Rosalie: "No, I meant when you fell down the stairs."

Alice:

Rosalie: "You just laid there for 15 minutes."

---
Emmett , barging in: "Syphilis!"

Carlisle:

Emmett :

Carlisle: "Pardon?"

---
Carlisle, drunk and with a headache: "Advil me up, daddy."

Esme: "I will short out the language centre of your brain if you say anything like that ever again."

---
Emmett: "Oh look who got laid last night."

Alice: "That's right chumps, missionary accomplished!"

Edward, internally crying: "I did not need to know that."

---
Jacob: "I'm doing what I can to jog your memory."

Bella: "It's jogging, I guess. Its tiddies are jiggling a little."

Jacob: "Nice."

---
Rosalie: "I still have no idea how I'm attracted to you."

Bella: "Yeah, well, you're stuck with me, and no take backs, honey."

---
Carlisle, about Edward and Jacob: "My god, would you two just get a room already?"

Edward: "Excuse me, dad?"

Carlisle: "You both just keep agreeing about horrifying things and relishing everybody else's misery. So seriously, when's the wedding?"

Edward:

Alice: "I ship it!"

Jasper: "CAN YOU NOT?"