Jacob: "Being gay is a constant battle between "I wish to sit on a window bench with my lover, our legs tangling as we listen to the birds" and "Hey, let's go throw rocks at fascists" and I think that's very sexy of us."
Edward: "If the window's open and you time it right, we can do both."
---Edward: "I feel like doing something stupid."
Jacob: "I'm stupid, do me."
---Jacob: "This date is boring!"
Edward: "This isn't a date. I said I was going to the store."
Jacob: "Then why did you invite me?"
Edward: "I didnt, I specifically said "don't come with me," then you said, "fuck you Edward I'll do whatever I want.""
---Jacob: "I hate you."
Edward: "It's cool, I hate myself too."
---Jacob: "Let me get this clear, I hate you."
Edward: "Let go of my hand then."
Jacob, squeezes Edward's hand harder: "No, fuck off."
---
Jacob: "You-" *points at Edward* "-me, date."Edward: "You? Me? Fat chance."
Jacob: "I have a chance! AND IT'S FAT!"
---
Jacob: "1 universe, 9 planets, 7 seas, 7 continents, 195 countries, and 809 islands.. Then I had the unfortunate luck to meet you're handsome, annoying face."
Bella, from another room: "There are only 8 planets!"
Jacob: "Fuck off, viva la pluto!"
Edward: *whispers* "I'm handsome?"
---Edward: "I don't want to be your boyfriend anymore."
Jacob: "I knew it, you hate me, I know we're supposed to be mortal enemies-"
Edward: "Jacob..-"
Jacob: "No, no, I know, we can't defy nature's law right? The council will be happy about this.. a-and the Volturi wouldn't-"
Edward: "Jacob."
Jacob, in tears and denial about it: "-hurt you either, so I'm not hurt, I swear, I understand, I love you so much. Goo-"
Edward, on his knees holding out a ring: "Jacob! Shut up you fucking idiot, I want to be your husband!"
Jacob: "H-huh?"
Edward: "Marry me."
---
Teacher: "Your child was in a fight."Edward: "Oh no, that's terrible!"
Jacob: "Did they win?"
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Twilight Incorrect Quotes
RandomWhat the title says! One-shots, random ships, incorrect quotes, headcannons and more!