Consilium (Lawyer Kylo Ren x Reader)

Chapter 17

A/N: Thank you to everyone who has left such nice comments! They really do help and we love reading them❤️

Your POV:

"I'm in, Kylo. I want to give us a shot, a real chance," you started, making sure your gaze stayed locked on his, hoping to convey your sincerity and excitement, your need. "I'm tired of waiting. I feel like all I've done is wait or have things done for me. Don't we deserve to be happy now ?"

"I know what this means for us but we can be careful... I'm a grown woman, dammit. It's about time I make my own decisions," you teased, giving his hands another comforting squeeze. Kylo's answering smile made your chest tighten and your breath catch, laughter bubbling out of you as you let go of his hands and cupped his face, fingers tracing those adorable dimples of his.

You let yourself take a moment to memorize Kylo's joy, your eyes searching his face as he nodded and laughed with you, warm and low and perfect. A feeling of profound comfort filled you as you drew him closer, your cheeks hurting from your wide smile and the endless possibilities that seemed to stretch out before you. You were finally doing things for yourself, no one else.

"We can do this together, Kylo. I don't want to keep waiting for life to keep passing me by- I want to be an active participant, I want to do the things I want to do, I want to be present and enjoy. We've come this far, haven't we?" After all, what was left? You liked him and he liked you, that much was obvious as you closed the gap between you, his plush lips meeting yours in a fevered kiss.

Sure, this wasn't the conventional way to do things and it would be an uphill battle until the divorce was finalized - not to mention the need for secrecy - but you were done putting things on hold because of Orson. You were more than capable of understanding the risks and taking the leap, all you needed was a partner willing to brave it along with you.

Kylo's hands found your waist and pulled you onto his lap, demand pushing through his gentleness. You kissed him back with everything he gave, a hungered urgency to your touch, almost as if afraid that everything would be snatched from you in a moment's breath, as if Kylo were to pull away and deny you any second.

"I want to be with you, sweetheart," Kylo breathed out, his thick fingers digging into your curves. "No matter the cost." You moaned at his words, relishing in the obvious desire dripping from them, remembering what it was like to be wanted and needed, to be someone's choice. It was a dizzying feeling, arousal pooling deep in your belly.

"Take me to bed," you urged, pulling back just enough to catch your breath, to meet Kylo's eyes as you offered yourself to him. You didn't know where this was going or where you'd end up by the end of it but you were sure as hell willing to try. In for a penny, in for a pound, right?

***

You felt light-headed with happiness, giggling as Kylo suddenly rose to his feet, taking you along with him, his deep, soothing voice sending shivers of pleasure down your spine. Was this what it would be like with him? He always made you feel so secure, so light-hearted. Things were easy even when they weren't.

You clutched onto him as he carried you to his bedroom, your head swimming with memories as you remembered sleeping alone in his big bed not too long ago, dreaming about him, thinking about him. If the old you could see you now she would have told you to wake up to reality, to think about the consequences to your actions, to wait to start living until everything was in its place.

But where was the fun in that? And when was the last time you'd allowed yourself to have fun - actual, exciting, doubled over fun? It was past time to let yourself enjoy.