I turn around in bed and open my eyes the alarm says 7 am I groan loudly, i've always hated waking up in the morning. The details and memories from yesterday are blurry, but when I see new open cuts on my wrist I know things didn't go as planed last night. I reach for my laptop from the side table and check Facebook. Scrolling through my feed, A few new pictures. Statuses from friends and a particular one from Bruno Mars.
Met a beautiful girl last night, I lost her in the cold. Somewhere in Brooklyn? ;) But I'm serious, send me your picture if your name's Jessica, love you all my Hooligans.
Had it been I'd met Bruno Mars last night? His calm voice and deep brown eyes looked so familiar I'm guessing it was him. I took a picture with my webcam and sent it in. Thousands of photos have probably sent in a photo, hoping for a chance for a date. What if he mistakes someone else for me? I take a long shower and change into a light blue tank top and beige short shorts and letting my hair curl loosely. Josh is dropping off my three year old son Michael but until they come. I take my laptop from my room and lay on the couch checking the names and photos being eliminated every few seconds I refresh the page. The doorbell rings a few times so I shove my laptop to the side and slide down the stair rail. I'd think be more mature being 25 and previously married but i guess not. I open the door and sure enough Josh is standing holding Micheal's hand
"Mommy!" Micheal yells his arms wrap around my legs
"Hey buddy," I crouch down to his level and kiss his forehead.
"Go put your things away alright? I need to talk to daddy." he nods his head and runs up the stairs waving good bye to Josh as he reaches the top and races to his room
"Hey," Josh says his voice quiet
"Hey, you brought the motorcycle?" I ask him
"Yea you know how Micheal loves it" his is parked right next to mine
I smile faintly me, Micheal's always loved riding with either one of us. I clear my voice and ask him
"So how have you been?"
"Good, You?" his eyes trace the floor
"Alright" I things between me and him are awkward. We haven't talked much, or at all, only when he drops off Aspen which is about every two weeks.
"Jessica please tell me the truth" he asks nervously he looks straight into my eyes a few seconds of silence pass when he finally speaks again "Have you stopped yet?"
"Stopped what?" I begin to feel sweat form "What if he knows!" I think abruptly
"Stopped," he pauses for a second and scratches his head before looking to the ground "Stopped cutting," he finishes the sentence and instantly my heart drops.
"How do you know that?!"
"Micheal told me everything. He woke up in the middle of the night but he saw you and ran away crying"
"Oh God" I whisper a few tears begin to fall. Josh grabs onto my wrist and holds them up revealing all my scars right in front of both of us he lifts my chin up and makes me look into his deep brown eyes.
"You need to stop Jessica. At least try. Were separated I know. But I still worry about you, Micheal worries about you, you can't give up on him. Or me." The tears come quicker and I hug him tight crying into his shoulder. He keeps me close to him rubbing my back.
"I'm so sorry. I have to go Jessica. You can always call me if you need anything," he gives me a quick peck on the check and begins to walk to his motorcycle. He puts his helmet on and waves goodbye before riding off. I walk back into my house, closing the door and wiping away the tears as I walk up the stairs. Grabbing my laptop and laying on the couch for a nap.
