may flowers - gojo x reader

until it wasn't

2007

"Why didn't you stop him?!"

Satorus dorm has never felt so unfamiliar. Neither has he.
It's been around a month since Suguru left, it's getting hard to remember. I know Satoru was just as affected as I was, he locked himself in his room and I had to break down the door so he didn't die of thirst.

At first we'd comfort each other, but I can tell we're both losing the energy to keep it up, and our patiences are running out . Now all I can feel is anger, so much that I can't control what I'm saying.

"How the hell is this my fault?! I actually tried to help him change his mind, meanwhile you were too busy "getting stronger", "perfecting your cursed techniques" to even notice!" I stare up at him, holding his glare and matching it with my own. I never knew the blue in his eyes could get so dull.

"That's not the point!" Satoru hisses, his hands curling into fists like they always do when he's frustrated or angry.
"If you'd have been there with me maybe he would've listened!"

My eyes widen, the anger in them even more apparent.
"You know I couldn't have been there! I was out on a mission! I had no idea he was going to do anything while I was gone!"

"Well maybe you should have anticipated it!" His voice cracks with anger. "Aren't you supposed to be such a great sorcerer? You can't see things like that coming?" His voice was dripping with sarcasm, it made my blood boil.

"Oh shut up. Even if you noticed anything wrong with Suguru you didn't act on it. You couldn't even get off your ass trying to grow your ego bigger as the strongest. Maybe if you were more observant this wouldn't have happened." I don't even feel anger anymore, just pure rage. I can't even tell if I mean the words coming out of my mouth.

His eyes narrow. "Do you have any idea what I've been through? That I've been trying to keep this entire country together because all the other sorcerers are too weak or scared to do their own damn jobs?!" He takes in a breath. "And you think I'm not observant?! Do you even understand what it means to be the strongest?"

I fight off a groan. "Of course I know what you're going through, but you're not the only strong one around here. I've been working my ass off too!"

"Oh. So working your ass off is the same as having an entire country's survival on your shoulders?" He's really dishing out the sarcasm.
"You think I like being the strongest? That the burden of keeping everyone safe is what I wanted? I hate it! But I don't even get the luxury of feeling weak, because the moment I show even a shred of vulnerability everything falls apart!"
His eyes flash as his tone grows sharper.

"I know that Satoru. But you need to stop thinking you're "alone" and GROW THE FUCK UP." My voice gets louder.

He's really pissed now. I almost feel intimidated for a second before remembering that it's Satoru.
"Don't tell me to grow up!" He leans forward slightly, blocking the light from the window and covering his face as well as my face in shadow.
"Maybe if you all pulled your heads out of your asses you'd realize that this world is my responsibility, and that I don't need you talking over my shoulder about everything I do!"

"See?! This is what I'm talking about! You go on and on about being the only one who can protect and save everyone, but look what's happening? People are leaving. You weren't alone before, but at this rate you sure as hell will be!" I grit my teeth. There's a lump in my throat, and I swallow hard to get rid of it.

"SHUT UP!" He's full on yelling now, he walks towards me with loud steps. He grabs the collar of my shirt, I don't flinch, but my breath catches slightly as I look at him. He's barely recognizable.
"Don't pretend you know what's going on in my life, you don't get it!"