Vulnerable

Chapter 7

"I don't know, Fin." I huffed, throwing my arms up and plopping back down on the couch, fixing the hair that had fallen in my face.

"You don't know, or you don't want to talk about it?"

"Both." I laughed, crossing my arms over my chest and bouncing my foot. Deciding whether or not I was ready to face my feelings out loud. Finneas was quiet, glancing between me and my shaking foot.

"Look, Bil. I'm not here to grill you, it's just...been a while since I've seen you like that with anybody."

I nodded my head at him, pulling my bottom lip between my teeth and looking off at the corner of the room where Aria had just been minutes ago.

"And I don't want to see you get hurt again."

I could feel the stinging in my eyes at his words and I took a deep breath before shaking my head at him.

"That's the scariest part." I mumbled, looking back at Finneas. "There's not a single ounce of me that is afraid of that with her. I've been waiting to feel even just a little bit of that fear or doubt, especially after how fucked up I've been over the way the last thing ended...but there's just nothing."

Finneas' eyes were searching mine, watching me and waiting for me to continue. I leaned back onto the couch and stared up at the ceiling, "And I don't know if that makes me an idiot or if this is how it's supposed to feel."

The silence in the room was loud for a minute before Finneas spoke again, "I don't think you're an idiot, Billie. You got hurt before, and it sucked. He betrayed your trust, that doesn't mean it's not okay to trust someone else again."

I mulled over that for a minute still staring up at the ceiling, knowing that trust has always been one of my biggest struggles in relationships. Me not trusting my partner's intentions, and usually them not feeling like they can trust me because of the way my life is. Unfortunately, last time I gave my trust to someone they didn't deserve it.

This, with Aria, feels so different and I don't know how to handle it.

"Do you? Trust her?"

This question made me turn my stare back to Finneas, "I do, yeah."

"Then trust that. It doesn't need to be more complicated than that right now."

I nodded at him, agreeing. I could feel the pit in my stomach start to shrink. Before I could answer, my phone chimed and a stupid grin snuck across my face when I saw the name across my screen.

Aria
made it to the hospital
i wish i could've given you a proper goodbye

I guess you'll just have to make up for it next time

Aria
guess i will
gotta go, hope you write a banger

I snorted at her last message, sending a simple heart emoji and tucking my phone away with the same stupid smile on my face. I looked back up at Fin and he was smirking too, his eyebrows raised so high they were about to jump off his big forehead.

"Jesus, what!?" I cackled at him and he held his hands up in surrender.

"You're in it deep with that one, Bil." He teased before turning back around to his monitor and throwing us both back into work, and I knew he was right.