Teach Me How To Love Again

Chapter Nineteen

As dinner was winding down, Jill sensed the heaviness in the air. The impending proposal loomed over her, uncertain of when it would happen. The laughter of the Bidens filled the room with joy and vitality, but Jill's heart felt heavy with apprehension.

"Are you feeling alright?" Joe inquired, leaning closer, his concern evident. Jill nodded, offering a strained smile.

"I need some fresh air," she whispered to Joe, who started to rise to join her.

"No, you stay. I just need a moment. The room feels a bit stuffy," she reassured him, and he reluctantly settled back into his seat.

Val observed the situation and cast a sympathetic glance towards Jill. When Joe turned to Val, she simply shrugged.

"Let her have a moment. You know how intense things can get with all of us."

Joe nodded in understanding and diverted his attention back to cleaning chocolate icing off of Hunter's hands. The mischievous boy never seemed capable of keeping his dessert on his plate.

Outside, Jill stood with tears streaming down her face, clutching her body as her chest heaved with sobs. It was all too overwhelming for her. She longed for her family, her sisters. She yearned to seek solace at her mother's kitchen table. Her world had been flipped upside down, going from a married woman to a divorcee, to caring for two children. While she cherished Joe and the boys, she craved the comfort of the familiar. The weight of her new reality crashed over her all at once and she wasn't entirely sure that she was ready to commit to any of it.

The boys were incredible - full of life, humor, and affection. Joe was a true diamond in the rough: kind, romantic, attentive, sweet, a phenomenal lover, and her closest confidant. The Biden family was nothing short of remarkable, forming a tight-knit unit that embraced her wholeheartedly even after the loss of Neilia.

However, an unexplained fear lingered within her. Maybe it was the fear of disappointing them. She couldn't shake the fact that she was significantly younger than Joe. She was not Neilia, and their pasts were worlds apart. How could he truly embrace her completely? She couldn't help but worry that one day, he would awaken to the realization that she could never compare to the wife he lost. Despite his constant reassurances and demonstrations of love, she couldn't help but doubt if he truly had enough love left to give. How could he possibly offer his whole heart to her? How could he have faith in love once more, after enduring such immense pain? She felt in her heart that he must truly love her. The way he looked at her, the warmth of his embrace, and the way they moved together in perfect harmony during their daily routines all whispered of his affection.

Her mind, spinning with unanswered questions, came to a sudden halt at the sound of the door creaking open behind her. Joe's warm voice broke through the silence, accompanied by the comforting weight of a blanket being draped over her winter coat.

"It's freezing out here," he remarked, concern evident in his tone.

She shrugged, packing the snow beneath her feet. "It's not so bad."

"Are you feeling better?" Joe's eyes searched hers, a silent plea for honesty.

She nodded, forcing a smile. "Yeah, I think I just needed some air."

But Joe didn't seem convinced. His gaze lingered on her face, filled with a mixture of worry and care. "Jill, if there's something on your mind... I'm here. Please, tell me."

She blurted out, her words tumbling out in a rush, "Joe, I caught sight of the ring. I'm assuming that's what it was. I didn't bother opening it or anything."

He blinked, surprise flickering in his eyes as he leaned against the railing. "Your assumption is right," he confirmed. "My intention was to catch you completely off guard."

"I'm surprised, Joe. What on earth were you thinking?" she questioned.

"Jill," he began with a weary sigh, rubbing his temples. "Things have been moving incredibly fast."

Her heart raced in anticipation. This was it. The moment she feared everything would come crashing down. She couldn't bear the thought.

"Jill, don't worry," he reassured her, placing a comforting hand on her arm. "I wasn't planning to propose..."

"Oh."

"Well, not yet anyway. I haven't even met your folks..."

"But you bought a ring."

"Indeed, I did," he confessed, his jaw clenched in nervousness. "There's more to it than you think, though. The boys came to me the other day saying they wanted to marry you..."

A smile pulled at her lips, a mixture of relief and emotions bubbling within her. "They did?"

"They sure did, Jill. They adore you. They think you're the brightest star in the sky." He said with a chuckle. "They're right..." his voice trailed off. "That same day, I happened to stumble upon a jewelry shop, so I walked in. There, I saw the ring and... something compelled me to buy it."

She listened intently.

"Anyway, I got caught up in the idea, but I realized too soon was too soon. Come here," he gently pulled her onto his lap, enfolding his arms around her. "There's so much more I want to discover about you. I want to meet your family, see your hometown."

"I want you to, too." She said, resting her head on his shoulder.

Joe's hand caressed her face as he spoke softly, "Jill, I wouldn't dare propose without knowing that it's what you truly want, too. Lately, it seems like everything has been centered around me and not enough about you. I can't even imagine the weight you must be carrying. Leaving your marriage behind and having your family in a different town must be overwhelming." He expressed his empathy, "You've been handling it all so... gracefully, and I'm sorry it took me this long to realize. As politicians, I think we often get used to being the focus that we forget about the others in the room. You've shown incredible patience with me."

"Thank you," she responded, "I needed to hear that. It's true, it's been a lot to bear. It's only just hitting me now. But... I choose you, and I choose this. I just need some time to process it all."

"You can take all the time you need. But, if you're up for it, I'd love to spend a weekend with your family soon. Plus, you have all the ammunition, all the embarrassing stories. I need the inside scoop on your wild teenage days," he teased, planting a kiss on her cheek.

"That can definitely be arranged. My sisters are eager to meet you, and they won't hold back, much to my embarrassment," she joked back.

Wiping a tear from her eye, he said with excitement, "I can't wait."

Jill shivered and Joe held her tighter.

"I think everyone's getting ready for bed, if you want to sneak upstairs and get cozy."

"I have an idea on how we can warm up," she hinted suggestively, raising an eyebrow.

"Fortunately, the surprise I mentioned earlier might help with that," he replied.

"Oh?" She questioned with curiosity, and he nodded in response.

Jill slid off of his lap and extended a hand to assist him in standing up. With a playful smirk, she said, "Let's get warmed up then, Senator."