She not it

VI. She's sorry

POV - She

I am staring at the door, wondering;
Is he okay?
How does he feel?

I genuinely feel sorry. I need to see him.
I didn't mean things to happen that way...

____

POV - Drew

I don't know for how long I've been here.
10 minutes? Maybe 25.
1 hour? 7 perhaps.

I don't know.

I am just lying on the floor, back to the door, completely immobile, eyes wide open, I am too aware of my surroundings, too terrified.

It's Indigo's fault.
All hers.
If she hadn't ask me to go get her milk, I wouldn't have bumped into Weaverman and then have to push Kenneth and ARGH, I hope she feels bad, that guilt is eating her raw, if she even has enough of a heart to feel anything at all, that witch.

I think I have never cried for this long.
I don't have any idea of the amount of time I did, but I can just tell it was long enough to make the side of my face that is in direct contact with the floor totally damp.

I just know I did stop crying about 2 minutes ago. I counted the seconds. What else do you expect me to do?

I close my eyes, then I hear steps in the hallway and pry them open immediately.

The way being locked here activates all my senses and makes me scared of everything is crazy, almost makes me ashamed of myself.

I hear someone enter the code.
The lock disengages.
The door is pushed open.
Zhang.

- "Drew..." she calls calmly, faking sympathy.

She comes closer, the only light entering this room is because she left the door open.

They're from lightbulbs, it's late already.
Maybe 7pm, judging from how bright they are shining without being altered by some sunshine.

She closes the door. It is dark again.

- "I am very disappointed in you, my love." She continues, going on her knees behind me.

'Is Kenneth okay?' I want to ask, but I can't. My vocal cord won't vibrate at my will.

- "I did not expect you reiterate your past actions..." A pause. "Considering your past, I though that highly traumatised you."

Wait is she calling me a murderer?
Is Kenneth dead?
No.
No.
He can't be dead, it was an accident I didn't mean to...!

My breathing reaches a speed I didn't know it could reach.
I am breathing so fast, too fast, I am not sure I am even taking any oxygen in.

- "He's not dead." She answers my unasked question. "But this was a murder attempt."

'When I pushed him I did not want him to fall, I just wanted him to leave me alone!' Is want to say, but I can't. My throat won't cooperate to let this sentence out.

This brings me so much flashbacks of when I killed Papa and my brother.
Not that I ever regretted like this, but I tried to explain myself to calm Mama down, but words wouldn't flow from my mouth.