The Frog at the Top of Frosty Mountain

The Pigeon's Request

The Pigeon cooed gleefully as he and The Author approached a perfectly normal department store. Rows of shopping carts stood next to the entrance, just waiting to be used. The Pigeon gasped when he saw them.

"May I?" The Pigeon asked as he reached for a cart.

"Go for it." The Author said.

The Pigeon grabbed the cart's handle with great reverence and pulled it out of it's row. He swung it around, aimed it towards the entrance, and began to push. One of the wheels made an ugly squeaking sound, but he didn't mind. He focused on the wonderland ahead, the place he'd been dreaming about visiting his entire life.

"Holy mother of Pigeon. It's so big!"

"That's what she said."

"Which aisles should we visit? The breakfast cereal one? The canned foods one? Ooh! How about the CD one? I've been aiming to start a collection for years now."

"They don't sell CDs anymore."

"Why not?"

"We have streaming now. You can listen to any song you want on your phone."

"How about the DVD section?"

"Sorry. We stream movies now too."

"Oh. People have gotten pretty boring nowadays, haven't they?"

"Pretty much."

After some thinking, the Pigeon decided to visit every single aisle in the store, much to The Author's dismay.  He was anxious to continue his walk to Frosty Mountain, but a deal was deal. He would stick with the Pigeon until he finished his shopping.

The strange duo went around the store, stopping every time the Pigeon saw something interesting (which was often). People stared at him, ready to shoo him away if he got too close, but The Author assured them the Pigeon was disease free. People smiled and chuckled at the situation, but frowned as soon as the duo moved on to the next aisle.

"A boneless fried dinner for 5 bucks! What a steal!" The Pigeon cried out.

"Isn't that cannibalism? You being a bird and all..."

"You're a mammal and you eat cows. Cows are mammals too. Don't you think that's weird?"

"Hm. You've given me something to think about."

The Pigeon nodded proudly and threw the chicken tv dinner into his already half full cart. By the time they reached the end of the store, the cart was almost overflowing. It had gotten so heavy that The Author had to help push it.

"We pay over there." The Author said, panting. "Turn right. Turn right!"

The Pigeon didn't turn right. He laughed hysterically as he took a sharp left and pushed towards the exit.

"What are you doing!?" The Author cried out. 

"I'm sending a message! We pigeons won't bow down to people any longer. From now on, we take whatever we want!"

The Pigeon pushed with the strength of 10 birds, running as fast as his little bird feet could take him. The Author ran with him, afraid of letting go of the cart and falling flat on his face. He tried to slow it down, but it was no use.

The Pigeon wasn't going to leave without his things.

"Out of the way! He's going to run you over!" The Author shouted to the people walking into the store.

His warnings were no use. The cart crashed straight into an elderly woman who was too busy seaching her purse for a mint to look ahead. Everything in the cart spilled out, and The Author was thrown onto the hard concrete outside. 

"Help!" The old lady cried out. "I've fallen, and I can't get up!"

"Me neither!" The Author said, grunting with pain. "That damn pigeon...where is he?"

The Author heard the sound of flapping wings and knew at once that the Pigeon had fled. Now he was the only culprit at the scene, and he had a feeling that the approaching police cruiser couldn't mean anything good for him.

"Hands on your head!" Said an angry voice through the cruiser's sound system. "You're under arrest!"

The Author obeyed the voice and had rough hands handcuff him, then toss him into the back of the crusier.

Nobody helped the old lady up.