Ten Galleons To McGonagall

Before The Break Of Dawn

It was late. Probably after midnight. Sirius Black was still awake, listening to the storm outside. He was laying on a spare mattress on the floor in James Potter's room staring at the ceiling. Although he had only been at the Potters' house for a few weeks, it already felt more like home than Number Twelve, Grimmauld place ever had.

He started thinking about Hogwarts then. He would be back there for his final year in just one short month and he couldn't wait. He had been thinking of new pranks all summer and had recently devised a particularly good one involving the Slytherins, some transfiguration, and a lot of potions. He would tell the other Marauders about it on the train. He would need Peter Pettigrew to steal a lot of the stuff they needed, James would need to agree to execute the final event, and Remus, of course, needed to work out the timing and logistics of the whole thing.

With that his thoughts turned to Remus. Remus was so strong and brave and funny. Once you got to know him, he could make you laugh for hours. And he was so attractive too. Even with all his scars he was lean and muscular with body parts that always looked so perfect-

Sirius stopped himself there. He always tried to ignore these thoughts of Remus. Remus was his friend after all. Sirius shouldn't have been thinking about him like that. Fortunately he would be back at Hogwarts soon where there were plenty of girls to distract him from these feelings. He would spend a week or two kissing and touching these girls but when they couldn't make him forget Remus he left them in hope that someone else would.

But in the back of his mind he knew that was pointless. No matter how many girls he kissed, he always thought of Remus afterward, how he would have much rather been kissing him instead. So he would dump that girl and move on to the next, leaving a trail of broken hearts behind him.

He remembered when he first met Remus. They were in their dormitory after the Welcoming Feast on their first ever day of Hogwarts. He and James had met on the train, but the two other boys in their room were strangers. The short and slightly chubby boy was organizing his things over in the bed closest to the door. The other brown haired boy was unpacking in the bed next to him.

"Hey!" James called from the bed by the window "What's your name?"

The taller boy looked up. "Remus," he replied, and for the first time Sirius noticed the scars all over his body.

"I can't believe it!" James exclaimed "I share a dorm with someone named Sirius and someone named Remus. Those are the strangest names I've ever heard!" He turned toward the last boy. "Please tell me you have a normal name like John or something," he said in exasperation.

"My name is Peter," he said "is that normal enough?"

"Yes!" said James.

"My middle name is John, if that counts," Remus added helpfully.

The four boys had stayed up late, talking and laughing and getting to know each other until one by one they fell asleep from exhaustion. The next morning they would eat breakfast together and begin learning magic. The four became very good friends.

But Sirius hadn't realized that he had deeper feelings for Remus until Fifth Year. He and James were joking around in the Common Room when Sabrina Knight, a girl in their year, asked Sirius out. He said yes without even considering it. The two of them walked hand in hand to classes and kissed passionately in the common room while they were supposed to be studying for their O.W.L.S. Occasionally Sirius caught Remus looking at them with a scandalized expression, but Sirius just assumed that was because they really should have been studying. But then again, Remus was almost always grumpy before the full moon.

And this time the rest of them were too. It was the first full moon they would spend with Remus as Anamagi.

The next night Remus faced his transformation with his friends and Sirius saw for the first time how Remus screamed in pain and tore at his skin. And when the night was over Remus lay naked, covered in blood, on the floor, Sirius was in a sort of horrified awe. He realized that Remus had been going through that horror and pain every month since he was almost five years old, he had been experiencing monthly torture for a decade. And Sirius watched as Remus unrolled from the fetal position and stood up and got dressed despite being in obvious pain. And he realized that Remus was the bravest out of all of them and probably out of the whole school and that he was so strong and stoic because he never complained once.

And when Sirius was kissing Sabrina in the common room the next afternoon, a picture of Remus Lupin forced its way to the front of his mind and he realized Sabrina just couldn't compare to the boy on the other side of the common room. So he broke away from the kiss and broke Sabrina's heart because he realized that he loved Remus so much more than he even thought about Sabrina or any other girl.

Sirius snapped himself out of the memories. The storm was dying down outside but inside his head a new storm was starting. He had a crush on his friend. His friend who was also a guy. And this was a problem. What would his friends think? He could tell James to see what James thought. James was okay with Remus being a werewolf, he was the first of the marauders to figure it out and he totally accepted it. If James could accept that his friend turned into a dangerous monster once a month, surely he could accept that his friend was gay. If course he wouldn't say he liked Remus, he would just say he liked guys in general. Maybe he should practice saying the words so he knew what he would say when he told James. With that thought, Sirius Black asked the quiet dark room "What would you do if I told you I fancied blokes?"

He heard James roll over. "Well," James began and Sirius's body exploded in panic. James was supposed to be asleep! He wasn't supposed to hear that! I wasn't ready!

"Not much would change," James continued "I mean we would still spend full moons with Moony and pull pranks but I'd probably help you find a boyfriend and I'd curse anyone who gave you a hard time,"

Sirius let out the breath he didn't realize he'd been holding. It was okay. James didn't hate him. But Sirius didn't respond because exhaustion had finally caught up with him and he fell asleep.

// Author's note:
Hi guys! This is my first time writing and sharing fan fiction (or any creative writing) so if you have feedback please share it! I hope you enjoy it and I'll try to update again soon