Pink Suitcase

Things are...well, they are espectáculo de mierda. A shitshow. That's the only way he can describe what's going on inside him as he walks the halls of what he thought would be the home he stayed in until he was like, 30, at this rate.

Okay, sure, he got into Georgetown and all that, but that stuff wouldn't be happening for like, a couple of months at best, half a year even. He was supposed to stay here, enjoy the summer before he had to somehow pack up his life and move several states away.

He didn't expect there to be a domino effect.

His Dad had already left, gone one morning after a truck had taken all the stuff Mom hadn't wanted to keep and only visiting sporadically from his bachelor pad in the middle of Austin that Alex still hadn't seen in person. Mom was about to leave herself too, not by selling the house mind you, but by moving to the capitol to begin her Presidency. 

While Alex was awfully proud of her, it still stung knowing she wouldn't be there every morning, made even worse by the fact she was moving in with that Leo guy as well that Alex knew was nice and treated his mother like a queen, but he still didn't trust.

All of those stung, yes, but they hadn't hurt. Not yet. There was an exception though and he came across it as he trudged down the hall on the second floor, seeing a flash of colour out of the corner of his eye and migrating towards it, unable to not laugh a little.

"Are you really using that?"

Of course, June, big sister and all-round perfect person (in Alex's eyes anyway), doesn't seem to hear him, too busy shoving clothes into the old battered suitcase on her bed. It's a bright neon pink that normally, June wouldn't be caught dead toting. Alex could still make out the old and faded letters on the top of it, even though it's been like, a million years since he's seen it.

Pretty Princesa. Pretty Princess.

He was barely 3 years old when his Dad had gotten it for her on her 6th birthday and she never left the house without it if she was going somewhere, even for a sleepover. They'd even used to fight over who got to use the stupid thing on vacation, despite Alex having plenty of suitcases of his own that were far more akin to his taste. (He won't admit this out loud, but he used to do it so June would pay attention to him.)

Looking past her figure and out the window, Alex sighs as he takes in the weather. It's a cool night for the middle of summer, especially in Austin. It just reminds him that he and June aren't 6 and 9 anymore - in fact, all of this reminds him that they aren't kids anymore period.

Did he mention the reason June was packing was that she was leaving to go to college herself? Not only that, but she's leaving tomorrow morning and Alex is dying inside. She's been so helpful to him these past few months, a balm to his sanity and a helpful go-to when having a panic attack. He doesn't know what he's going to do without her.

Her room doesn't make that dread filling his chest ache any less as he thinks about it all over again, standing in the doorway as he processes everything around him. The nearly empty room, the dents on her carpet where her furniture used to be. The clothes she still hadn't packed strewn around, bags and boxes, her mattress stripped of its usual dark sheets.

"They're all I have left to pack." June finally replies, turning to him with her dark hair in a loose bun on the top of her head as she addresses her teenage little brother. She has the faintest traces of a smile on her face that makes Alex snort obnoxiously. "Junebug, I love you, but you should have gotten rid of some of your things at the garage sale Mom held, like she told you to do."

"Don't worry Alejandro-" She shoots back at him as she rolls her eyes. "You can have all the clothes that don't fit, given Nora will be here with you while her grandfather prepares the capital for her arrival. They need some forewarning."

A year ago, when everything was fine and the divorce hadn't happened and life was good, Alex would have jumped at the chance. Given he had been dating Nora at the time (before they realized they were much better off as friends), he had been stealing shirts and push-up bras for Nora to wear out of June's closet, you know, like a good boyfriend would.

Now, all he can think is "I don't want your stuff for Nora. I just don't want you to go."

He doesn't say that out loud, however, as he's not a whiny child anymore. He knows that it won't work, not now. He just rolls his own eyes at the joke before he keeps moving back the way he was going, ending up in his own room stretched out on his bed, his thoughts swimming through his head and making his entire brain hurt.

He knows that this isn't forever, not yet at least. He knows that June will eventually get tired of packing her stuff. He knows she'll come to seek him out where he's buried himself away and they'll order pizza and curl up on the couch, fighting over the last slice.

They'll probably watch one of her sickly sweet rom-coms that she's been pushing on him to commiserate for his lacklustre love life (because she's his older sister, duh) for the hundredth time and they'll probably eat ice cream from Leo's stash straight out of the tub and Alex will look over at her and pretend that this is just another night at home.

Like she's not leaving. Like she's not abandoning him like everyone else. Like it's the last time they'll see each other in a long while.

After that, he'll just kiss her on the cheek goodnight, take his singlet off and go to bed, like he'll wake up tomorrow at noon and she'll be there, barely awake herself and grumbling about getting coffee into the machine that Mom paid for. He'll wake tomorrow, that's for certain at least, but it won't be in that world. It'll be in the world and a new life where he'll have to comprehend that his sister, his rock, his best friend other than Nora, isn't just across the hall waiting with open arms to receive him.

That's what hurts most of all.