Lost In Wonderland

5. Cruel Reality

The air around me thinned, and the scene around me was pitch black. I was walking on literally nothing. I could feel myself hugging my knees and hear the clattering of tea cups. A laugh echoes through the blank space, while I gaze around. Cheshire's menacing grin appears, and rotates a full 360 over and over. However, someone's comforting hand grasps onto mine, and I'm able to breathe again. I can feel the unpleasant stinging of the cuts and scrapes and the world around me regains color. The farm house. I grew up here with my clustered foster family, until I found out that she wasn't actually my mother. Nothing made sense, but then again, nothing ever did in Wonderland, and Cheshire warned me about that.

Not far from me is the hole that Levi drug me down. As wide as can be, it swirls in the dirt, mixing in with the gravel but ruining the soil. The freshly planted crops sank into the spiraling hole and it continued to decrease in size every few seconds. But the warmth is gone. Long gone. Crows echo in the distance, as if nearing to swarm the farm. The peaceful moon that hovered over is no longer visible as the hole continues to shrink. Everything is fading away, and Ethan motions for me to jump in, just as chains wrap around my torso to tie me down. He's gone moments later with the hole. I'm stuck. I can no longer see Colin and Levi, or Ethan with his collection of hats. There's also Connie and Claire who I've barely met, and The Queen of Hearts, my mother.

That's when I shoot out from my bed, the moon wide in the sky. The smell of roses lingers on my clothing, and I know it was all a dream. The cruel reality was gone, and eventually I'll have to return. Perspiration gathered on my forehead and my breathing was uneven. My body shook; too afraid to move from my position.

But there's something I can't get straight. No matter how much I weigh my options, Wonderland makes me feel at ease. Colin and Ethan have been so considerate of me, and Levi has greeted me many times, but all I ever did was act so rude. Why was Ethan in my dreams? Did the disappearance of the hole resemble my fear of letting go?

I couldn't go back to sleep, so sleepily, I got up and slipped out of my room and hoped into the shower. I adjusted the water to partially warm and stripped from my rainbow pajamas. Stepping into the shower, the water hit me directly in the face. I washed my scalp twice with the lemon scented shampoo and rinsed it thoroughly before applying another sweet scented body wash to my loofah. I tried to be optimistic as I thought of telling Ethan the news, but I didn't know how he would react.

Rinsing off the bubbles, I was sad to turn the heated water off. I dried off and hung the towel back on the metal rod before existing the shower stall. Jumping back into my pajamas, I escape into the corridor.

The hallway was dark and empty, but it was past midnight, so that should be expected.

As I pass Ethan's study, I notice the light is still on, so I knock slowly. Trying desperately to be poised, I closed my eyes. Seconds later, he's standing in front of me, the door wide open. He has this expression like he's surprised, but also cheerful. On his desk was the hat that I'd given him for his birthday with dried up petals around it. Without saying anything, he gestured for me to come inside, so I took a seat on the leather sofa near the bookshelf.

"Miss Gold? Did you need something at this time of the morning?" He asked in a quiet whisper, shuffling through his desk. He didn't look up at me, even after I began browsing the titles of his bookshelf. None of them seemed recognizable and they had authors with weird names.

"I came to tell you something." I spoke clearly, turning my body around in the sofa to face him. My legs hung off the edge and he pushed his hat away in anticipation. His attention was focused on me, and through the lamp light, you could clearly see him blush.

"Ah, Miss Gold! I wouldn't say something you'd regret in the morning." He muttered, moving his hands in a panicked manner in front of his face. He looked adorable. The dark bags under his eyes to his perfect calf muscles. To me, he was just perfect. He wasn't at all crazy as they made his father out to be in the animation. I outta show it to him one day.