A god's vessel (Undertale au)

rude awakenings

It was a beautiful day outside, birds were singing, flowers were blooming and Killer was still in bed, he had slept through five separate alarms and was about to sleep through his sixth alarm when a deep, menacing voice boomed in his ears. “get up. Why are you still in bed, have you people forgotten that-” “Who the fuck are you?!” killer interrupted as he shot awake after hearing the unfamiliar voice, looking over towards the voice he saw a tall black goo-y skeleton adorned with leather and gold armor, the leather was dyed cyan and it was topped off with some weird blue fur and a crown, but two things stuck out to killer in particular, 1. The big fuck off tentacles 2. The weird symbol on his forehead. The large skeleton spoke in an almost offended tone
“how do you not know who I am? Do your mortal schools not teach you about the very beings who created you?!” lord this guy talked a lot. Killer racked his brain as he thought back to his school years… “I guess not.” killer never paid attention to school so maybe they did but he wasn’t going to admit that. The large skeleton groaned before explaining “I am Nightmare god of negativity and negative magic. You have been chosen as my vessel for the time being.-” “I’m sorry what. Do I have to do like preaching and shit?!” Nightmare’s eyelight went out as he took a deep breath regretting his choices “No. I do not care for preaching. All you have to do is continue living your life all that will change is that I will be sharing this body with you and sometimes taking control. Is that simple enough for you?” he uttered slowly as if he was talking to a toddler.
Killer didn’t know whether to be offended or not but Nightmare being a dick wasn’t the main problem here, “why me? Did depressed gay man scream your name?” “no, I just assumed since your family was once loyal warriors for me I assumed you’d be similar but I’m beginning to believe I’ve made a mistake.” nightmare shrugged “Oh well we’re stuck together now” This just gets even more confusing by the moment killer asked with slight agitation “why didn’t you look at for more than two seconds and see I’m not exactly a fighter” “I was in a rush” “I- y’know what I need coffee.” nightmare nodded “very well don’t drink too much, I do not wish to have a heart attack from your stupidity” killer got out of bed, as always he slept in his clothes so that saved an awkward moment between him and a fucking god.
Killer came out to the main living space, his roommate was at work yet again, but that didn’t matter it was Killer’s day off and he was gonna enjoy it no matter how bad it-
And the coffee maker is broken. Fuck. he could go to ccino’s cafe but he probably didn’t have enough money on him to afford anything more than a croissant… “fucking kill me.”
“That would be unwise at that would kill both of us”
“figure of speech.”
“sure. Why do you even care about this… thing?”
“do you not know what a coffee maker is?”
“I haven’t been on earth in a few centuries.”
Great. Killer would have to help this grandpa learn the modern world. “Ok Grandpa, we’re gonna need to address that later right now-”
“Grandpa?”
“Can we stop interrupting each other for five minutes???”
“No.”
“Anyway. Right now I’m gonna chug five cokes to wake myself up” Killer moved himself over to the fridge but right as he was about to open it, his hand was yanked away by some invisible force, nightmare spoke with an authoritative voice “We will not be overdosing on cocaine now or ever” killer was internally screaming as he replied “grandpa. They got rid of the cocaine from cokes like 90 years ago.” killer felt the force on his arm loosen as nightmare mumbled “I see… but was the cocaine not the main appeal of that cola to begin with?” killer let out a sigh before opening the fridge and cracking open a coke and chugging it
This was going to be a long day