2 years of longing

Chap 1

'If I may ask, why are you really here, Sam? It can't be to just look after me.' Jane asked.

'I'm here to be close to a friend of mine who is here on the island to recover from a traumatic experience.' Sam replied.

He didn't say who it was though.

Rehab center.

'How is she today?' asked Sam.

'Well, she's starting to talk to the staff more. Other then that, she's still mostly just sitting around, not willing to open up about what happened, and shooting the staff ugly looks when we interrupt whatever it it is she's doing.' The nurse replied. 'She's in her room right now.'

'Got it. Thank you.'

Patient room.

'You don't have to keep coming here, Mr. Hanna. I'm clearly still alive, and my left leg and right arm have stopped hurting, do I really need to tell some therapist about surviving 2 hellish years in a dangerous foreign country?' Hetty asked.

'I'm here to look after you while Callen is on his honeymoon, and you definitely need a friend right now to help you through the rehabilitation process.' Sam replied.

Cynically. 'Really? You sure you're not thinking I'll just run away again once I'm all better?'

'No, and everyone on the team understands that you do what you do for your own reasons. What's with this question anyway?'

'I don't know? Guilt maybe? I've been missing so many important moments in everyone's lives these past 2 years, maybe everyone is just used to me being gone all the time now and maybe secretly wishes I would just vanish again since I seem to love doing it so much!' Hetty exclaimed.

That really stung.

'Hetty... Nobody thinks that! We didn't always say it, but we all missed you! Even Callen did! You drive us crazy a lot, but we'd never wish for you to never come back! Why would you even think that?!' Sam asked, concerned.

'Did Hollace try again with trying to force 1 of you into position?'

Awkward silence.

'He did, didn't he? Probably should've known, he probably thought I was already dead!'

'Okay he did, and it was to me. But I shredded his letter right when I got home! I'd never want to take your job and put up with what you put up with!'

'You sure?' Hetty asked.

'100%'.

'Good, because I'd never want to force any of you into my position.'

'Hetty, what's really up? If you won't tell a therapist, then tell a friend! I just want you to feel better, and I won't tell anyone.' Sam asked, concerned about his boss.

Seeing how much he cared about her well being, and being unable to hide it all in anymore, Hetty sat down and started talking:

'7 years ago, we both lost someone we deeply cared about. You lost your wife, and I lost my partner, who was also a very longtime friend. I thought I was handling it well, until after Vietnam when I went to his daughter and found out he had been dead for a year. After that, I started having this kind of sadness that I've never been able to shake off.' Hetty started.

'Grief?'

'That, and heartbreak. Because the truth is Mr. Hanna, I loved Owen. And I never told him before he died.'

Stunned silence.

'Wow. I, don't know what to say about this! (chuckle). You 2 always looked like sworn enemies or something like that.' Sam slightly stuttered.

'I know. He always loved annoying me, and we were always so competitive, but during 1 of the worst periods of my life, he was there for me the whole way. And I've always felt something towards him since.' Hetty replied.

'What was it about?'

'That plane crash in Vietnam, he was the 1 who found me, he was the 1st person I saw when I woke up in the hospital, and he was there for me through the whole recovery period. I had never had someone be there for me like that before. After we both left the CIA, we drifted apart until he came to LA. I thought my feelings for him left from the way he was acting the 1st couple of years, but then the 1st mole hunt heated up, and it took almost losing him for me to realize that they were still there! And as he grew into more of a team player, those feelings continued to grow.'

Sam was stunned. His boss had genuinely felt something towards her partner, and no one had never known.

'And when I got to the hospital, he had left me a note and was gone. I felt something inside me had died when I read it. I never saw him again.' Hetty sniffled as she finished talking.

'Thank you for opening up. Do you feel better?' Sam asked.

'A bit, yeah. I still really miss him.'

'There are, a lot of times where I miss Michelle. I've gotten better at managing the grief, I think you need a grief counselor.'

'Well, if you think it'll help. I'll give it a try. And Mr. Hanna...'

'Yeah?' Sam asked.

'If there's someone special in your life again, it's okay to let her know how you feel.' Hetty finished.

Sam slightly blushed at her wisdom.

The next day, Hetty met with a grief counselor.

'I've been suffering from grief and heartbreak in silence for 7 years now, and no matter what I've tried, the sadness I've felt for so long, never seems to go away! What do I do?' She asked.

Endnotes: Yeah, this is a combination of several of my theories about Hetty since Season 8 ended, including 1 of my most recent ones about Season 3 of Hawaii. And as you can probably guess, my main wish for Season 3 is answers in some way to what happened in Morocco. Fingers crossed they come about.