DIARY TWENTY FOUR 💗

GROWTH. " pain inspires power"

I pray that GOD continues to allow space between what's Good & what's not . Good & bad is similar to water and oil mixed.. for some reason life has to have Bad too balance out the Good. This chapter is about learning new things about myself. As I transitioned into my new home I've had many obstacles, many things that made life worth living.. until 8 months in I took a trip to New Jersey and ran into someone I've never met before but felt compelled to know. And it took some time for me to reach out , when I did I still wasn't sure. After a while of conversation you couldn't tell me that wasn't the person for me. He said everything right and so did I , it felt like GOD was sending me exactly what I prayed for. Things quickly became difficult & worrisome but nothing I couldn't handle as I've developed this urge to keep things & people in my life even when I shouldn't . I've developed this desire to fix everything, now while I fell Inlove, I opened my heart up after a long time of being closed. I let myself love . Which is why I am writing this chapter. Him & I both made some really bad decisions that put what we were building on the line. But GOD still made away, GOD kept it going and for a minute I thought wow this is the person for me I am learning so much about myself , I've poured so much into this. He's opening up to the idea of being with me. When in fact if a persons wants to be with you, they won't hesitate! LOVE is many things but confusion. Love is very straight forward, YOU can feel when you are loved beyond measures . & despite it all I still make my daily prayer for strength and guidance.. I hope he knows that our love may not have been enough in this life time maybe in the next.. I hope he knows my feelings were real & a small part of my heart now belongs to him not in a way of attachment but rather a really good experience that I enjoyed! Thank you for loving me the way that you knew best! It may not have been enough to hold us together this time.  but you loved me in some capacity & I appreciate that! From All I've been through I've learned to cherish meaningful connections and to share love even if it doesn't last a life time.. my anxiety is at a 7 now and that's better then before thanks to you! thank you for teaching me something's about myself. & a small prayer to you.. though you may never see this "  as I was praying I Asked GOD to continue to watch over you & push you to be the best version of yourself daily! & the next time love comes to you I pray that you have a open mind & heart to it! I pray you give it everything you GOT! Because you have so much to offer! I knew for a while we weren't meant 2 be  but the " idea & hope is what I held onto! I know that you can give someone so much love if you just allow yourself to be open to it! I've also prayed that you pick up your trade & kill it! I prayed that GOD allows your relationships with your family too continue to Grow as you need them and they need you! I believe you can overcome any obstacle! You deserve happiness and I pray you find it one day!💙! 🫶 & I also praythat you continue to find new things that excite you! I will continue to pray that GOD bless
you immensely.. never good bye but catch ya later!💙 -BIG NAE