Dead Before Dark

Party With Depression

I woke up feeling crappy as can be confused on how I even dreamed all this. I also had so many questions. Why did I just dream that? Who was that really? Is what she showed me actually true? A million different questions running through my head. I have no idea on how to answer or were to find these answers.

I feel so terrible. About my mother, Marissa, and Spencer. How could I have not seen the signs? I'm hoping the Dream was just a dream, I mean the whole story of that is weird? Right? Like, a random weird witchy person in my dream telling me all about my family and friends. She said "I'm special." Maybe that's another word for insane.

I removed the covers from my body and started walking towards the bathroom. I think what I need more than anything is a nice, hot, and relaxing shower. I turned the knob to hot water. Before I got into the shower my phone was buzzing. At first it was just one buzz so I put my right foot inside the shower. Then it was buzzing uncontrollably like it was an emergency and I bet whoever was bugging me this much is having an emergency.

I approach my bedside table where my phone was just lying. On the screen it said I had ten messages. All of the messages were in the group chat. My friends and I have a group chat were instead of texting one another we just group text. Its really cool it saves me from having two different conversations. The messages were coming from the only people in the group chat Marissa and Spencer.

Marissa: Nah, Seriously did Eva die? Or is she like on some rampage?

Spencer: Shes probably torturing little kids and killing villages you know the usual.

Marissa: You should see what I have Eva in my phone as.OMG its priceless!!!!

Spencer: What? Please tell me not something rude.

Marissa: She is in my phone as " My crazy ass friend that ignores me in group chats!!!"

Spencer: OMG! Why are we friends?

Marissa: Because I give you a spark of confidence.

Spencer: More like the spark of insanity. Seriously you give me the spark of insanity!

Marissa: You love me and you know it.

Spencer: I love you unconditionally you're annoying sometimes you know.

The conversation goes on and on. I didn't like how they were talking about me, so with them loving me I joined in the conversation.

Evaline: You know Maris that im not a crazy ass friend. That name shouldnt be in your contacts this should " MY only friend besides Spencer that puts up with me because im weird!"

Marissa: Wow that hurts. But I still love you!!!!! OMG YOU GUYS SHOULD COME OVER!!!

Spencer: NAH, I'm Good. I'm really busy today.

Evaline: Yeah same with me.

Marissa: I've got Netflix,popcorn, and Pizza! Extra pepperoni just like you guys like it!

Spencer: THATS IT MY PLANS ARE FREEE DOBY IS FREEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! Now when is the pizza arriving ?

Evaline: OMG you're so weird. Nice Harry Potter reference by the way. Marissa PIZZA? Count me in! (: (;

Marissa: KK! See ya guys in a bit!

Spencer: So excited TTYL!!!!

Evaline: OK!

Yes I know our conversations are weird and consist of references from books and movies. I promise you all though its a really awesome group chat. Mostly because its just us three and not a million people in it.

I took a very quick shower. I was out of the nice comfortable shower as soon as Marissa texted and said the pizza was there. I put on my makeup so fast. I never knew I could take two minutes to apply liquid eyeliner, blush, concealer, and eyeshadow. Never judge what a girl could do when she hears the word pizza!
...
I paused before I turned the handle to her door. I was afraid. What if my dream was real? What if everything was real? Lingering at the door contemplating weather I should go in. It's weird I've lingered so many times outside of people's houses my house and now Marissas. I turned around I figured I could just tell her I have stuff to do. Then my plan just got shot out of the sky.

"Hey, sweet you made it come on in," said Marissa in a sweet voice.

I follow her, I also took off my shoes. Believe it or not her house is really clean which is funny due to the fact that her mom is away. She's on a business trip or at least that's what Marissa told us. None of us actually believe her moms on a business trip not even Marissa. Marissa thinks her mom just tells her shes on trips when reality shes probably just hanging out with guys. Marissa to me is a beautiful,strong,caring and supportive friend. So its very surprising the fact that her mom wants really nothing to do with her.

" Hey, you made it! I was wondering if you were coming. It's not a party without Evaline!"

" Ha! Thanks Spencer. I didn't think you were coming either. Plus I was also going to ask why in hell did you reference Harry Potter? You don't even like that movie."

" Yeah I know. I was actually watching it and I was on the Doby is free part and I thought it fit the conversation really well."

" Sorry Spencer, maybe it didn't fit the conversation. It was too soon for that."

" Ha you guys are loosers."

" Shut up Marissa," said Spencer and I at the same exact time.

For about half an hour we just sat and talked. Until of course one of us asked were the pizza was located and then we broke open the pizzas and ate like thieves. The pizza was the stolen object and we of course were the thieves.

We all goofed around hung out watching sad movies that had hot actors in. I prefer Ryan Gosling, Spencer and Marissa prefer Channing tatum. I just couldn't stop thinking about how we were back then. How we were always together and hanging out. Pizza was our thing and so was watching t.v. We were all to cheap to buy Netflix so we always had the trial version except me. So netflix wasn't really our thing.

I miss this so much the way we used to be before the depression , drugs , and alcohol got a hold of us. Not just depression but other stuff that got a hold of us I think we all just use that as an excuse to face the fact that we were just growing apart. We were friends for so long. We had the type of friendship that even after a while we got tired of each other and eventually just grew apart.

"I miss this," said Spencer looking at Marissa and I. We didn't reply we just smiled.

"If you don't mind me asking, Marissa how come you have been kinda avoiding us lately?"

"I didn't want to tell you guys or really anyone. My mom didnt leave to go to some work thing I told her to leave," Said Marissa.

"What do you mean? Why?"

"It hurt. Having her drive me to all my appointments and her having to face the fact that I."

"That you what, Marissa?"

"That I have cancer. I have a few months to live. The doctor said I would be lucky if it was more than three months."

And there at that moment a friendship of three was slowly breaking along with my heart...