Unwanted Bride Of Atticus Fawn

Atticus's POV

"Why do I feel like you're pulling yourself away from me since the accident?" Anya asks.

She hasn't stopped asking me uncomfortable questions ever since she has come over for the party.

She doesn't hide the hurt in her voice from me, and it fills me with guilt. I still didn't dare to tell her that my feelings for her had changed. I didn't know how to tell her that all of my feelings were for Autumn because even I didn't understand how any of that was possible.

Autumn?

Why Autumn?

Why her closest friend?

I've always feared that I cared way too much for Autumn, even while I was with Anya in the past. I kept my distance from her because of it.

But since when had those feelings become this dangerous? Since when had those feelings transformed into something else? And what should I do to prevent them from getting stronger?

I thought that I'd done a good job in the past at keeping her away from me. What the hell had happened to change that?

I couldn't think of anything that could have possibly happened in that short space of time before the accident that could have caused Autumn and me to get closer to each other.

"Atticus?" Anya calls as she waits for me to say something.

I was so lost in my own thoughts that I forgot that she was speaking to me. What else has she been saying to me? I could only remember the last question she'd asked me.

I searched my mind for a response to her question which wouldn't hurt her feelings.

Making her happy was always my main priority, and I didn't plan on stopping it now. She meant so much to me, even if my feelings were off, I still wanted the best for her.

Hurting her was not something I ever planned on doing.

"It's because I feel like you've been lying to me, Anya." I remind her. "I feel like everyone is lying to me, and I hate being lied to. Ever since that fatal accident, I feel like i can't trust any of you, which is crazy since I trust all of you more than I trust anyone else. That's why it bothers me that the people closest to me are trying their best to hide so
much from me."

She stiffens, and I can tell my words have hit a nerve. I wasn't trying to anger her. I was only telling how I truly felt. I was answering her question but not being totally honest with my answer.

"I'm not lying to you." She snaps.

"I'm just trying to protect you from yourself. That's all. Everyone wants to protect you. That accident scarred all of us, Atticus. I'm sorry that we can't tell you every little detail about that day. When we think you're ready, we will let you know everything. You said that you trust us, and we were hoping you could continue to do that. This is not the time to lose what we have, this is our chance to get closer to each other. You haven't even touched me as you used to since the accident. Do you know how that makes me feel? lt makes me feel unwanted."

She throws her arms around me, and once again, I felt nothing. Still, I held her to me because she's all I've ever known, loving her was the only thing I've known since I met her. It felt weird how much of my feelings have changed just because of one
accident.

I wasn't going to wait around to find out the truth anymore, I was going to do my own research.

It was clear that no one would ever tell me the truth. I may spend the rest of the year waiting for answers and never receive them. I was never someone to sit around and wait for the answers to come to me.