Johnnie's pov
Tw: Ed s/h
"JOHNNIE!" Jake calls from the kitchen, "DINNERS READY!" (I don't want to eat.) "Coming!" I walk into the dinning room and sit down. Jake made box Mac and cheese. "So.." Jake starts and I look up at him from my plate of food. We make eye contact and I nod slightly and hum for him to continue. "I was wondering if you wanted to go to the club with me?" "You know I don't like clubs." "I know but I wanted to hang with you...and meet up with this girl." I look at him. (Of course he's meeting a girl why would I ever think he wasn't straight, I'm so fucking stupid.) "I'll be fine here Jake." I smile. "You sure?" "Yep." I smile trying to convince him. "Alright but remember if you need anything just call." "I know Jake." He stands up and grabs both our plates. (He didn't realize I didn't eat, also how the fuck did he eat so much while we were talking?) "I'm going to shower!" Jake calls from his room. "Okay!" I get up and go to my room. About 15 minutes later Jake knocks on my door. "Come in!" He walks in wearing black tight jeans and an MCR shirt. "You look great Jake." I smile. "Thanks!" "No problem." "Well I have to go call me if anything happens I'll be home later tonight." "Okay." Jake smiles at me and we both say bye then he leaves my room. I hear the front door open and close and hear Jake's car drive away. I turn on my T.V and go into YouTube. "What to watch?" I ask myself out loud. I see mine and Jake's new video up. I watch it. (Might as well look at the comments.) I open the comments and see things along the lines of "They are so funny 🤣" and "I lmao when Jake fell off his chair😂". Then I see one that says "Johnnie isn't even funny he probably only has friends because they pitty him🤫". Or something like that I couldn't really see it do to tears. I started thinking about the box under my bed that I've had since middle school. "Do it you useless piece of shit no one will care!" I hear a little voice say in the back of my head, then another one saying "What will Jake think!". I grab the box. I open it and see blades I've had for 12 years. I grab one. "I'm sorry." I put it to my left wrist that has scars from years ago. I push it into my skin and all those feelings from years ago start flooding into my head. I continue to push the blade into my skin deeper and deeper. I snap back to reality and look down at my gushing arm. "Fuck no no no no NO." I stand up and run to the bathroom. I wet paper towels and clean the scars. I put dry paper towels on my arms and find some white medical tape. I wrap it around my arms. I clean up my blood around the sink. I start to feel light headed. "Holy shit." I walk back to my room using the walls as support so I don't fall. I get into my blood stained bed and feel sleep take over me.
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Hi thank you for reading I'm sorry if this triggered you or scared you in any way.
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