Harry Styles Imagines

Mother Part 1

"How have you been feeling since our last session?", my therapist asks me. I shrug, not knowing the answer myself. "Have you talked to anybody else about this besides me and Thomas?", she asks. "No", I simply answer. "Are you afraid?" she asks. I look at my hands that are fiddling together, a sign that I'm anxious and nervous. "I'll take your silence as a, yes?", she pushes for an answer. "Y/n, I'm only here to help you. I can't help you if you don't open up to me", she says. I take a deep breath. Holding it in for a couple of seconds before letting it out. " To be honest with you, I don't know how I feel. I go home, I work, and I try to not think about it. I try to busy myself to distract myself", I tell her, looking at the ground. "Why do you think you're suppressing these feelings?" she asks. I finally look at her, tears threatening to spill from my eyes. " I don't know. Maybe because if I talk about it, I'll start blaming myself. I don't want him to feel the same way I did", you tell her. "Okay, reasonable reasons. But you have to understand that he won't feel exactly how you feel. His grief will he different than yours and no-one can compare that to your grief. You were the one who carried that child for 4 months. " My therapist says to me. My tears now falling down my face at the realization that she is right." You can't protect everyone from the truth or hurt y/n ", she says. I simply nod. " How about we call it quits for today. I want you to go home, call Thomas, and talk to him, have a deep conversation and listen to how he feels about everything ", she says. "Okay", you agree, getting up and wiping your face from the tears. " I'll see you next week, okay?", she gives me a smile as I walk through the door to exit the building.

Once I'm home, our home, you look around and notice now empty it feels. Before, it was always filled with music and laughter. Now it's filled with silence and my cries. I put my bag down on the couch and sit, thinking and contemplating what to do. It's been almost a month since I miscarried our baby. I did everything myself, Thomas being the only person I could trust. I haven't asked how he felt about the situation having been too worried about me and my state of mind. I take a deep breath and gather the courage to call him. I haven't spoken to him about the situation since I started therapy. I unlock my phone, looking for his contact, and dial his number. It rings a couple of times until he finally picks up. "Hey everything alright?", he whispers into the phone. "Yeah. I just wanted to know if you were up for a chat?", I ask. There was background noice on the other end of the phone. I clearly hear Harry's voice trying to get Thomas's attention. " Yeah, I'm down for it. At your house?" he asks. " Yeah, you can stop by whenever you have the time. Just let me know when you're on your way", I say before I hang up, throwing my phone back on the sofa. I lied down on the sofa and stared at the high ceilings of the living room. Soon, I started to feel my eyes close, sleep soon consuming me.

I get woken up by my phone ringing loudly in my ear. I groan and look at my phone to see that Thomas is calling. I pick up, allowing for the FaceTime to load. I soon see Thomas's face on the screen. He smiles, seeing my face for the first time in weeks. Yes, I work with him almost every day but since everything happened, I've been working from home, not wanting to be bothered. "Hey, 'is it okay if I stop by now?", he asks, noticing he's in his car. "Yeah, that's fine. I'll be in the backyard so just come in", I tell him. "Okay, see you in a bit", he says to me as he starts his car. "Okay", I say and hang up. I get up and go into the kitchen to start up the coffee machine. One thing you and Thomas bond over is your love for coffee. You make two cups of coffee once the machine was ready and made your way to the gazebo by the pool. As you waited, you couldn't help but remember the fun you and Harry had decorating the backyard. It was exactly how you had envisioned it in your head. You were pulled from your thoughts by the sound of the backyard gate opening and closing.

Thomas came up to you and engulfed you in a huge hug, one that you desperately needed. "It's so good to see you y/n ", he says as he sat down next to you. I grabbed the mug from the table in front of us and hand it to him. "Be careful, it's hot", you warn him, handing him the mug. "Thank you", he says, grabbing the mug and taking a sip of the hot coffee. "How's therapy?", he asks immediately. "After three sessions, I finally opened up a little", you say taking another sip of my coffee. "That's great. It's progress", he says giving me a smile that's filled with what you can describe as hope. "I'm sorry for dragging you into this mess". I blurt out, his eyes instantly looking at me with sympathy. "You don't have to be sorry for that. I'm just happy to know that you confide in me with something like this", he says. "How do you feel about it though?", I ask, placing my mug on the table. "It's hard. You know Harry is my best mate", you nod, " every time I look at him, I feel guilty and sad. I think about what could've been for the two of you", he says. The tears on your eyes spilling on your face."Do you plan on telling him?" he asks. I wipe my face and nod." I just don't know how Thomas. How am I going to tell him with his girlfriend in the picture??", I tell him. "I know how sensitive the topic is, but the good thing is that they weren't together when the act happened", he tells you, placing his hand on your knee, which was bouncing at the anxiety that was building up inside you. "He'll be pissed off at you for keeping it from him", I say. He nods in agreement. "I know. Which is why you have to tell him soon. Yes, he'll he pissed off at first, but he will have to understand", he says giving me reassurance. "When should I tell him?", you ask. He stays silent for a minute thinking. "Well, I know Amelia is going to take an all-girls trip this weekend. He won't be doing anything besides hanging out with me. Maybe you can tell him then?'' he explains. You think about it for a minute, thinking if it was a good idea. "I need you there Tom", you confess. "I'll be there. I'll even bring him", he says giving me a reassuring smile.