|30| Bail

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𝙈𝙤𝙧𝙜𝙖𝙣
⊱ ─────────── ⊰

It's been three weeks. I never thought since entering Chris's life that I'd go this long without him in mine.

For the first time in my life, my optimism has failed me. I have hoped and even prayed that Chris would return home to me.
Now, tomorrow is our supposed wedding day and he is still no where to be found -- or even heard from.

I'm not angry or disappointed. I am devastated.

If I felt as if this was my fiancé being purposely negligent, I would feel hurt, but I mostly feel concerned for him.

I know I should be pissed, never wanting to see or be with him again, but he got Earth-shattering news that affects us both. He did what he felt in his heart was the easiest, for not only me, but for him, too. Honestly, yes, if he came home and told me he had a kid, I wouldn't react well. I still haven't fully processed it, my full body is cringing just thinking about how Sabrina got him to impregnate her and now their seed is apart of the world, waiting for a father.

Chris was supposed to be the father of my child first just as I was supposed to be the only mother of all of his children.

Sabrina has taken another thing from me.

And curse Chris for being the good man he is because all he's ever wanted is to be a father— and a good one, at that.

Moisture rolls down my cheeks as I stare into the mirror ahead of me

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Moisture rolls down my cheeks as I stare into the mirror ahead of me. In it, I stand there picturing what I'll look like in the dress, but don't actually put it on. I can't. I won't.

Was I even really ready for a wedding, I ask in my head.
I mean, maybe we rushed into things?

There I go again, making excuses. The truth is there is no excusing this. Not this time.

More than anything, I just miss Chris and hope he's okay.

My phone suddenly rings. Being this late, I'm surprised that anyone is even calling. None of my friends or family have wanted anything to do with me lately. I think they call it giving me space.

Anyway, it's past one in the morning, so whoever it is, better be dying.

Tossing my dress onto the bed, I down my third glass of wine before walking across the room. I was hoping the phone would stop ringing but it didn't.

"Okay, already, I'm coming. Damn." I growl, getting annoyed at the sound of the 'Marimba' ringtone.

With a 'humph' I rip my phone off of the charger and put it to my ear, having answered the call.

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