Elisha Wakes Up

2. Sunday Breakfast

Matthew 15:8-9 "These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. They worship me in vain; their teachings are merely human rules."
.......

"... and with all the money I give to the church I would hope that you would recover quickly."

I stare in silence at my father. Glancing at my mother who's looking at him in clear disdain.

I pity my mother too.

Sometimes I wonder if he even really believes in God, who says something like that when the minister clearly talks about how evil the love of money is.

Typical of him. I remain silent.

"There's no way I would've been able to change the date of the debutante to be your birthday two years in a row, and have the royal family attend. Absolutely not." My father lifts his glass and waves at a male servant, "More wine."
The male servant walks forward with the pitcher as my father continues.

" I planned everything out to make our family look good in front of the royals, and a mistake like that on your part won't ruin it. Thank God that you healed right on time."

"Thank you for your worry father." I mutter as I cut into my food.

" And don't wear those dreadful foot contraptions in a garden if you don't know how to walk in them. We can't have this happen again, at least not until you've done your duty to this family."

My eldest brother, Frederick snorts and laughs, "Do you mean heels father?"

"Whatever they are, she needs to learn to walk better in them." He turns his head towards me, "Do you require your etiquette tutor to reteach you how to walk at your age, Elisha? You will not embarrass me at this ball."

I sigh loudly and look upwards, shaking my head in agitation, "No father." I'm already tired of this conversation.

He glares at me, more than likely about to say something when my younger brother Victor laughs loudly, always wanting to be a part of the conversation.

"She's way too tall to even bother wearing those shoes in the first place, what man would want a Lady that towers over him?" He noisily chimes in with childlike humor.

There's a chorus of laughs from the men, and my father's attention is taken away from me quickly as they fall back into their conversation.

My mother looks at me sympathetically before joining the conversation.

I roll my eyes and tune them out as my thoughts drift to Jacob. He's tall and beautiful, that day with my heels on I wasn't taller than him but we were only just eye to eye. He told me how beautiful I looked surrounded by the flowers...

I'm still very confused on how I fell to that extent. Surely the steps in Jacob's family's garden weren't long enough for me to have fallen and cause that amount of damage.

But at the same time... why would he ever lie to me?

I miss him. I wish he were here instead of me having to deal with my father and brothers. They're annoying.

Although... I'm also slightly relieved he's not here, given my immediate jerk reaction after waking up this morning. And especially after what happened the last time we were alone together, before my fall.

We nearly crossed a line in a moment of intimacy, and I had to force him away like many other times.

He apologized, and I forgave him, but anyway I blame myself for leading him on. It's just that this time it almost felt like he wouldn't stop, despite knowing we're to be married soon.

His expression when I stopped him still stays in my mind...

Stop.

I shake my head, stopping my mind from going somewhere negative. I'll make sure to meet him after the service at the chapel is over. He must want to see me before my debut as much as I want to see him. I wonder if he...

"Elisha!" I jump and turn towards my father.

He stares at me expectantly, "Do you understand?"

I nod immediately.

I'm not exactly sure what I agreed to but I'll ask my sister later. This isn't the first time I've agreed to a request of my father without paying attention.

.......

"I have to do what?!"

My sister barks with laughter and shakes her head at me.

"Where does your mind go, Elisha? You agreed to it without knowing what He said?"

I huff and cross my arms as the carriage rolls along. Looking out the window I try to think of a Hymn.

Apparently my father requested, or really informed me, that I'll be singing a Hymn in front of the congregation today before the sermon. Apparently he already got the go ahead from the minister, not that I'm surprised.

He wants all the attention on our family before the debutante ball, from all the nobles and their families attending chapel today.

He planned to tell me after I came home from Jacob's estate but then the fall occurred and I woke up just in time for the weekly church visit.

I sigh again and look up at the clouds through the window. It's not that I'm worried about singing, in fact I've been told many times that I should join the choir as a lead singer. My mother made sure that I took singing lessons from a young age, along with my etiquette and educational lessons.

I'm just ill prepared today, and my head has been pounding badly since I woke up this morning .

I sigh again loudly.  I'll sing Amazing Grace, it's the only one I've fully memorized, and I sound great when singing it.

It's disappointing that Jacob never has the time to come to the chapel, but he always says he has other plans on Sundays, and he has his own relationship with God, so it doesn't really matter whether he attends or not.

Which I completely understand because I feel the same way, I only really go for appearance purposes as a Count's daughter.

I close my eyes and say a quick prayer, 'Lord please let me sing good today, and please help Jacob to overcome his lust until we're finally married then we can do whatever we want. I pray that the service goes by fast and the meeting with the royal family is quick so that I can rest in my bed, because my head still hurts from my fall. In Jesus name, Amen."

Evelyn smacks my arms and giggles, "Elisha, mom would be appalled with what you just called a prayer."

I laugh and look up.

Oh well, I just want this to be over with.