Daisy: A Review Shop | 2023

Review 8: The Healing Bond

Username: miiruex_ 

Book: The Healing Bond

I was extremely excited and amazed when I saw the description of your book. It was distinct from the stories one would find here on Wattpad. I believe that your topic was heart-touching and needed for society. As it is said, "Passion battles Expectations," For me, it was, unfortunately, a lot more relatable, hailing from an Indian family.

So, I believe your plot has a lot of potential if well-written. But, honestly, I found that your writing style seems AI-generated. So, it became challenging for me to relate with your characters, as I had initially thought so. There was extreme complexity in the sentence formation, frequent usage of the same words (like 'mischievous'), and honestly, the emotions were not well portrayed/conveyed as they should have been, remaking the sensitive topic.

Everything to us was told, I believe you should research the theory of showing vs telling. I'll show you a few examples.

Telling: She was angry with him.

Showing: Her fists clenched at her sides, her jaw tight as she tried to contain the surge of frustration bubbling within her. "How could you do this?" she spat, her voice laced with fury.

Telling: He was exhausted.

Showing: His eyelids drooped with fatigue as he trudged along the deserted street. Every muscle ached, and even the thought of lifting his hand felt like a task.

Or an example from your book.

Telling: "At that moment, a sudden knock echoed on my door. I invited the visitor in, and it was my father. He entered, his eyes reflecting a mix of pride and sorrow, and sat on the bed."

Showing: "Come in," I said as a knock erupted on my door. My father entered, his footsteps heavy with a weight, and his eyes unusually held a complex blend of emotions.

This way, the readers get to feel more than the character itself! Readers love it when they have to deduce little things. You just have to give them the hints, and they'll do the rest.

Like here, "My hometown had always been my sanctuary, a place of comfort where I lived a content life." But "My hometown had always been my sanctuary." would have worked fine as well. It would have given readers the hint but instead now, it has just unnecessarily added a few words to the chapter complicated the sentence structure and overcomplicating sentences make readers lose interest in the book.

There was a lot of formality in the writing. Formality isn't bad for all books. Like this one, when I'm presenting a review to you. But formality when writing a 'story' is not preferred. I'll show you an example of this sentence.

"My mother bid us farewell, her warm wishes accompanying us." The latter part of the sentence is so unnecessary. "My mother bid us farewell." was fine as well. But again, the showing method could have been used. "Good Bye," My mother said with a smile.

If these mistakes are considered, I believe your book has immense potential. 

The plot was again, great. I like the contrast between Aditya and Radhika's life. As Radhika's family is quite supportive since she has chosen the medical line, which, most Indian parents expect from their child while Aditya's parents are quite the opposite since he wants to make a career out of sports (his passaion). 

I apologise if I sounded harsh, my intent is to solely help all improve and grow! :)