"You're Late."

Chapter 5: Unthinkable

Chapter 5.2: Self Care Over Anything Else

This morning held a blend of coldness and solitude. Determined to regain a sense of normalcy, I immerse myself in the familiar routine of preparing for work. The rhythmic sounds of my morning echo through the empty house, creating a facade of ordinarycy to shield me from the tumult within.

In the bathroom, I confront my reflection, a face marked by the remnants of a restless night. The water runs, and I splash it on my face, attempting to wash away the traces of uncertainty. As I brush my teeth, the taste of mint fails to erase the lingering flavor of regret.

The closet presents a paradox — a collection of professional attire that once signified stability now feels like a costume concealing the turbulence beneath. I select a blouse and trousers, a guise of normality that I hope will convince both colleagues and myself that everything is under control.

The drive to work is a silent journey, each passing mile accompanied by a heavy silence. The radio remains off, allowing my thoughts to drown in the void. The cityscape blurs outside the window, a reflection of the blurred lines in my own life.

Arriving at the hospital, I put on a practiced smile, a facade to shield the chaos inside. The sterile scent of the corridors offers a fleeting sense of order amidst the chaos. As I navigate through the halls, the weight of responsibility provides a temporary distraction, a respite from the internal storm.

In my office, the hum of the computer and the routine tasks attempt to restore a semblance of normalcy. Yet, the screen becomes a canvas for distractions, and the familiar charts and reports fail to hold my attention. I'm haunted by the memory of Haerin's lingering presence, a specter that defies the boundaries of professional detachment.

Throughout the day, I oscillate between moments of focus and lapses into contemplation. Colleagues notice the shift in my demeanor, prompting concerned glances that I deflect with a forced smile. The hospital environment, usually a sanctuary, now feels like a battlefield where I navigate the minefield of secrets.

As the workday concludes, I find myself at the crossroads of routine and uncertainty. The drive home becomes a journey through the shadows of my own thoughts, and the once-familiar spaces now carry the weight of unspoken secrets. The facade of normalcy threatens to crumble, revealing the intricate fractures beneath the surface.

Hyein, with her unmistakable Gen Z energy, greeted me in the hallway with a nonchalant "Hey, Minji" She calls me by my first name. Her nonchalant persona clashed with my internal turbulence, and I managed a strained smile in response.

I forgot to correct her, but my mids too occupied to do so,

Entering the staff room, I encountered Joshua, a colleague whose awkward attempts at humor often veered into cringe territory. He glanced my way and, with an exaggerated wink, exclaimed, "Minji, my main medical maestro! Ready for another day of conquering the health frontier?" I cringed inwardly but offered a polite nod, attempting to navigate the interaction with minimal discomfort.

Danielle, on the other hand, radiated positivity in contrast to Joshua's awkwardness. She approached me with a cheerful grin, her enthusiasm contagious. "Minji! You won't believe the story I heard about a patient who claimed to have discovered the secret to eternal youth. Can you imagine?" Her laughter echoed through the room, momentarily alleviating the weight of the day.