Hatsukoi [first love] | sunki au

(02) observer.

Tall, handsome and wearing, arguably, the biggest boxy grin to have ever existed, Nishimura Ni-Ki couldn't believe what he was seeing: from the balcony across his own, stood Kim Sunoo bathed in the glow of moonlight, a forlorn and deep expression on his face.

Ni-Ki had to rub his eyes with his fist and look harder just to make sure he wasn't just seeing a ghostly fantasy.

He had been out taking photos of the night sky with his phone, when he suddenly heard the popping of a wine bottle followed by the sound of a loud sigh. Surprised that someone was actually awake at that hour, he hid his phone out of instinct and silently peeked at the direction the sound came from.

Never in Ni-Ki's wildest dreams did he think he'd witness the ethereal visual treat of Sunoo's slender male figure leaning across the ledge of the adjacent balcony, sipping on his wine glass, obviously unaware Ni-Ki was even there.

It's been years since they last saw each other in high school, but he looked the same as in his memory, perhaps even better: with his fair complexion, rosy cheeks and cute face, even after all this time has passed, Ni-Ki still thought he was the most beautiful person he had ever seen.

What are the odds, Ni-Ki wistfully mused. Or is it fate? That of all the places I searched, this is where I'd find you again?

But then Ni-Ki's victorious smile slowly faded into a look of deep longing.

As if fate had designed their reunion, their rooms were right beside each other, separated only by a low glass railing. Sunoo looked so clear in sight, so real and close enough to touch— but why was it that Ni-Ki couldn't bring himself to reach out?

Anxiety pumped into Ni-Ki's system, churning his insides.

Sunoo looked sad, too preoccupied with consuming his drink to even check that he wasn't alone out there. Either that or he actually did see Ni-Ki and didn't recognize him anymore.

The second thought hurt Ni-Ki more than he let on.

Quietly, he moved a bit closer to Sunoo's side, though the later seemed to be having a headache and had his eyes closed shut.

Ni-Ki rehearsed possible opening statements in his mind for a solid 5 minutes, shifting between "Hi", "Hello", "Good to see you again" and "What's Up, Mate??" every 10 seconds. Each version got even more painfully awkward as it evolved.

Ni-Ki didn't know where to start. There was so much baggage in their past he wanted to unload, so much he wanted to say and to apologize for— but the words always jumble up in his head and his feelings always overwhelm him. What if he ends up saying something completely stupid?

Kim Sunoo was his high school sweetheart, the first enemy, first friend and first love of his life. The first and the greatest one. But they've been apart for so long, and undeniably, not in the best terms. Ni-Ki felt sure of his feelings— but what about Sunoo? Is his heart still locked shut after all these years? Has he moved on?

What if Sunoo did have someone else? The right thing to do would be to back off. The right thing to say would be giving him well wishes; to be content even if the only emotional connection Sunoo could offer him was friendship right? He should be grateful for just that much, shouldn't he?

What if Sunoo doesn't remember me anymore? Ni-Ki bit his lower lip, his heart tightening in his chest.

We've been strangers for 10 years. No calls, no messages, I haven't even sent a simple birthday greeting on KKT, Niki thought, regret dripping from his thoughts like poison. I wouldn't give me a chance if I were me.

Ni-Ki stared softly at Sunoo, observing and trying to memorize every detail on his face as if tomorrow he'd wake up and it would all be a dream.
The scent of his perfume tickled Ni-Ki's nose. And the wind made his hair dance, and Ni-Ki wanted so badly to come at him from behind, hug him and sniff that scent in until he was intoxicated by it.

Sunoo had opened his eyes and had dowsed his glass, down the last drop. Ni-Ki has never met anyone look so pretty simply as they drank something, but here he was. Sunoo suddenly looked up, staring up at the moon before suddenly bringing out his phone, and unexpectedly, took a quick little selfie.

Despite himself, Ni-Ki chuckled lightly. The gesture stirred a random memory that he couldn't help but smile at the thought of. And just like that, all the anxiety and fear hounding his thoughts with questions and insecurities just didn't seem important anymore.