Look at me ~ Childe x reader ~

Chapter 33 ~ Please Hear me out ~

"Kaori please just hear me out" I say desperately as I walk inside our room closing the door behind me.

"Y/n I don't want to talk to you right now, leave me alone" she says coldly walking into the bathroom and slamming  the door behind her.

I push the door with my body weight but can't get it open.

"Kaori please let me in, let me explain" I say feeling guilty

"Explain what? the fact you knew I liked him, didn't tell me about anything going on between you two and strung me along like a fool?" she says as I hear her slide down in front of the door.

I don't say anything, I stand there quietly processing her words she said, honestly I don't even know what's going on between me and Childe. He's very unsure and so am I, so I don't know what exactly there was to tell.

"I mean I got the hint that he wasn't into me, but I thought he wasn't into anyone, sure I could see the weird way you guys interactions with each other, but I took your word that nothing was going on because I trusted you Y/n" at this point I hear her sobbing as she speaks her words being just about audible.

"Kaori there's nothing going on-" I get cut off as I'm about to respond

"Y/N SHUT UP ALREADY, WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS? STOP SYAING THERES NOTHING GOING ON, WHEN THERE CLEARLY IS, DO YOU THINK ITS FUNNY TO PLAY WITH ME LIKE THIS?" she says shouting and sniffling at this point.

"I-" I stop myself from saying anything, reflecting on everything.

I know it looks bad but I really don't know where Childe and I stand, it's all messed up and now it's lead to this. Does he actually like me because  I don't really know what to believe. I stood in silence as I listened to Kaori's sobs fill the room.

"I'll fix this I swear" I say now at the verge of tears feeling awful about the whole situation

"Just leave me alone Y/n I don't want to talk to you right now" she says calmly still crying

"Kaori-" I get cut off by her shouting

"JUST GET OUT FOR GOD SAKE, GO BACK TO EATING HIS FACE IN THE JACCUZI FOR ALL I CARE" she shouts as she bangs her side of the door with her fist.

I don't respond instead I listen and walk out, I'll just give her time alone right now.

I walked out of our apartment and walked on the pavement, I felt my face being dampened, realising tears were rolling down my cheeks. The sky grew darker as the sun was setting but I didn't care at the moment, even though I had no idea where I was headed.

I continued on the path and took enough turns that soon I didn't know where I was, I didn't have my phone with me and it was dark outside with only the street lights and a few stars lighting the sky. I was standing on a random pavement alone, with no means of communication in the dark.

But I probably deserve it after all I have messed up.

my face remained expressionless with tears continuing to roll, my eyes stung from the amount I had cried, but I genuinely had no idea what to do. How do you fix something like this? where do I start? what should I do? so many questions were eating my alive.

I honestly didn't care what happened to me at the moment I just wanted everything to go back to normal back to the way it was before, maybe I should have resined from my new job roll. after all it was originally Kaori's position.

when did my hatred for Childe subside, honestly I can't tell when it happened at what point did I start to feel this comfortable around him. I can't tell when I started to feel I wanted to be in his presence but its all messed up.

But what about him? when did he start feeling this way about me? or does he even feel the same? I can never tell what that man is thinking and it's frustrating constantly trying to decipher his actions.

I lean on one of the rock fences as I sob quietly in my hands, what a messy situation I've gotten everyone into. I couldn't help but cry because I had no idea where to start.

"Yo, don't you know girls like you shouldn't be out in these parts this late" I hear a random male voice say.