SUMMER AGAIN

𝚃𝚆𝙴𝙽𝚃𝚈 𝙾𝙽𝙴

     Steam fogged up your brain as the hot water runs down your back. The bathroom was like a hot sauna, hours wasted under the shower head. You stared at the tiles, at the way the water flows down the drain, at the way the mist rises.

     You felt dirty. Almost as if your skin was a layer of filth itself. You wanted it off, away from you, this world. You look at your hands, fingertips wrinkly under your long acrylics. The moisture drained out like your emotions. You felt nothing, you felt numb.

     Eventually, you got out, wrapping a towel around your body as you went to your room. Your lava lamp left a pink glow across the room as you slipped on a tank top and some shorts before plopping into your sheets. The humming cicadas filled your mind as you recalled the events from today.

     The memories, the tears, the yelling, the blood. All because of you.

     You grabbed your phone from the charger, hoping to distract your mind from everything. As you powered it up, your phone flooded with notifications.

Da Hoes🧚🏽‍♀️ +7
Gremlins👹 +34
TheEvil👫 +2
Khalon +2

     You sighed seeing Chance's name appear on your screen. You felt bad for lashing out at him and even worse for making Nelly cry. Yes, he was hot-headed, but you knew Chance wouldn't just do something without there being a reason behind it. Especially when it came to the people he cared about.

     But at that moment, you needed someone to take your emotions out on. Someone to take the blame for how you were feeling. Why your life was going this way.

     But in the end, your emotions only make the people you care about get hurt.

     Tana... You thought back to the car ride. The quietness that filled the atmosphere. His bloody fist angrily gripping the steering wheel. His expressionless face as he didn't speak a word.

     For some reason, his silence hurt you more than ever. To constantly see you in that state. To constantly bring trouble around him. You felt like a plague to him. Bringing him into your world for only your selfish desire. Not concerned for his feelings at all.

     But for once, you wanted to be selfish. You wanted him in your world. He brought you a sort of peace, comfort. He didn't seem to judge you for who you were, or how you looked, or expect anything from you.

     You could be true to him. Expose the parts that no one else has ever seen. The parts you're scared to show anybody else.

     You clicked on his contact, thumb hovering over the call button. Does he even want to talk to me anymore? You hesitated for a moment, before going to your messages.

Nana👵🏾

tana
can we talk

what's wrong

can we meet up ?

of course
the park ?

u fine meeting at my house ?

i'll be there in 15

     You did a little smile to yourself before tossing down your phone. You wanted to be selfish for once. Keep him around for as long as you can. Or at least until he got tired of you.

     A few moments later, the doorbell rang indicating that he was there. You slipped on a pair of slides before nervously making your way down the stairs. The front entrance was dark as the porch light showed through the windows, a tall shadow blocking some of the glow.