Hope Wilson's Revenge

Adam Gets a Much Needed Hug

"That's great, buddy. I'm so happy that you're fitting in" Adam enthusiastically told Connor over the phone. They had developed a nightly phone call routine now that the young boy was settled in at his new school. While Adam knew that this was the best move for Connor, he still missed his son everyday. "Yes, I'll call you tomorrow. Have a good night, buddy. I love you." Adam hung up the phone as he poured himself a glass of scotch.

The youngest Newman son was about to settle in for his usual night of lonely drinking, when he saw a flash out of the corner of his eye. The flash was gone and a woman stood where it appeared. Said woman was staring at him like she would never be able to look at him enough. Adam blinked, clearly he was hallucinating, this figure looked like his mother. He stared at his glass of scotch and back at the woman, he hadn't even had a sip yet, how was he already drunk?

"Adam," the figure said. Adam froze, he would recognize that voice anywhere, that was his mother. Now he knew he was hallucinating, he was hearing his mother. The figure moved closer to him, he backed up out of instinct and a little bit out of fear. This annoyed the figure, "Victor Adam Newman! Is this how you treat your mother?"

"Mom?" Hope nodded and Adam finally let himself believe it. "Am I dreaming? Why are you here?" Hope ignored his questions and pulled her son into a long overdue hug. Adam stiffened at the unexpected physical contact before relaxing into his mother's warm embrace. God, he felt like a little kid again and before he could stop himself, he felt the tears leak out of his eyes. The mother held her upset son as he let go of months worth of sadness, growing more angry with each tear.

"It's okay my sweet boy. Let it all out" Hope comforted her son, like she had longed to for so long. She guided him over to the couch, so they could sit and talk.

Adam wiped his eyes embarrassed, how many times had he wished to be able to talk to his mother again? And when he finally gets the chance, he ends up crying like a child. "I've missed you, Mom. I've really missed you" Adam exclaimed trying and failing to stop crying. "There's so much I want to tell you and yet..." he trailed off, but Hope knew what he meant. A lot had happened, he didn't know where to begin.

"I know what's been going on. I can see everything, I know everything." Her son stared at her in shock and she chuckled. "I'm not mad or disappointed in you. Your so-called relatives on the other hand." Hope took a deep breath. "But that's not why I'm here. I'm here because you need me. You need your mother."

"Why now though? I've been in trouble or sad before."

"You think this is the only time I've used my magic? How do you think you got out of that house before it exploded?" Again her son stared at her in confusion. Adam should know better than to underestimate how strong a mother could be when her child is in danger.

"That was you?" Hope simply nodded. Actually now that he thought about it, it made sense. "Well, what do you want to know? How I destroyed my life yet again? How my own son be so depressed and miserable that he can't even live in the same city as me? How I killed my daughter and the love of my life still blames me for it? How..."

"STOP!" Adam froze, he couldn't remember the last time he heard his mother yell at him. "Stop right now. None of those things are your fault. You have to stop blaming yourself for anything and everything. It's not healthy. When did you become so cynical, so bitter?"

The mother son duo shared a brief knowing look before saying simultaneously "Victor". Hope sighed, while she was here she needed to make one apology. Grabbing Adam's hand, she started "My dear boy, I owe you an apology." Adam titled his head in confusion and she took a deep breath before continuing, "I'm sorry for telling you about Victor. All I could think at the time was that I was dying and you thought you were going to be alone. I couldn't let you be all alone, when I knew you had family out there. Of course, if I had known what Nikki and her brats, not to mention your father would put you through, I wouldn't have ever told you." It was Hope's turn to cry, she felt so guilty that her decision led to Adam suffering for years.

"Don't cry, Mom. I'm not angry about that anymore. I won't lie, I was for a long time. But you did the right thing, keeping me from Victor. If I had been raised by him, I wouldn't have all these great memories with you and I wouldn't trade them for the world. Plus, I could act like Victoria and Nicholas and be an insufferable asshole. That's the last thing the world needs." Hope chuckled at her son's attempts to lighten the mood.

"Okay sweetheart, now tell me what's on your mind. You've been carrying around so much pain for too long. Unburden yourself."

"Mom, you don't want to hear this. Me feeling sorry for myself."

"Adam. You need to talk your feelings out in a safe space, who could be safer than your mother? I'm here for you always, no matter where I am." Hope patiently explained as she wiped a tear from Adam's face. "Now speak"

"I have the most incredible ability to self-sabotage I have ever seen. I felt true happiness with Sally and I blew it all to hell in a misguided attempt to help her. And I have to admit, I didn't think I deserved that kind of happiness. I've hurt so many people, why should I get to have good things? Case in point, my son has inherited my self-loathing and bitter outlook not to mention my depression. My little girl is dead and I'm grieving what should have been. I'm trying to restart my life for the 80th time and no one believes in me. And the worst part is I don't blame them. I have given no one any reason to trust me. I feel so alone, my friendship with Sharon is hanging by a thread, I never see Jack, Chelsea and Connor aren't in town. I know Victor is waiting for me to fail, so he can rub it in my face." Adam blurted out in a heart wrenching ramble, unable to stop once he started.

Hope's heart broke for her son, he had been suffering in silence for too long. God, how she wished she could ring Victor's neck for his role in their son's pain. Victor, Nikki, their brats and Sally all needed to answer for their bullshit. She decided at that moment that she had more visits to make tonight, but first she had to make sure her son would be okay.

"I'm so sorry that you've had to deal with this all alone." she said in a comforting tone as she pulled him into another hug. Adam leaned into it soaking up the unconditional love while he could get it. "Honey, you absolutely deserve happiness. Whoever tells you that you don't, is a person who shouldn't be in your life. What's going on with your son is not your fault, Connor is his own person. The fact that you are aware of all of these things and want to not only change them, but are actively trying to change them is proof that you will succeed."

Adam looked at her skeptically, which Hope clocked. "I know, I know I'm your mother and your biggest cheerleader. Of course I'm going to think the best of you. But it's because I've seen you at your best that I know you can do this. You can and you will turn yourself around. I raised you to be a kind, thoughtful, humble, and intelligent man and you are. Yes, you've made some very bad choices, choices I can't condone. But you learned from them, grew from them, and that's all I can ask of you."

It had been so long since he had someone who loved without judging, Adam had forgotten what that felt like. He threw his arms around her for one last hug, willing himself to remember how wonderful it felt to be hugged by her. Something told him that she had to go soon. He really wished that she didn't have to. "You have to go, don't you?" he asked in a soft voice.

"I wish I didn't. I would stay here forever with you if I could." She could have stayed here with him for 10 years and it wouldn't have been enough time.

"I know." Adam gave her as bright a smile as he could muster. A thought occurred to him. "Mom? About..."

"About Ava? She's with me. And don't worry sweetheart, I'm looking out for her until you can see her. Her and Riley." Hope gave her son a watery smile as she stood up to leave. She had to force herself to leave now, or she felt like she never would. "Remember that I'm always with you and that I love you. I love you more than anything or anyone."

With one kiss to the forehead, Hope Wilson was gone just as quickly as she appeared. Adam sat back down on his couch in a stunned silence. He felt lighter than he had felt in months, all those dark thoughts jumbled in his head were gone. The Kansas native was half convinced he was dreaming, but he didn't care. The businessman got to see his mother again and she was proud of him. God, how he missed her. It was time to be the man she believed that he was. He couldn't and wouldn't let down his biggest fan.