Shiver

.

The winding, gravel roads of Tennessee were rarely forgiving. Especially to a small Hyundai that struggled in low gear to climb itself up them. The engine whined in protest as it hauled it's driver and his scant belongings. The disheveled man behind the wheel gripped it tightly as each little bump and sound made him more nervous. Evan was a city boy through and through. The last time he'd even seen a road, if it could so generously be called that, made of earth and gravel he was a boy living in Atlanta. Beyond the metropolitan sprawl were arable properties where the pavement gave way to dirt tracks packed tightly from years of use.

Another curve in the road snapped him out of his wandering thoughts. There was no immediate danger of going over the edge. The road was wide enough that even in the small amount of left over snow wouldn't cause him to go tumbling down so long as he were cautious. This didn't stop the anxious, lizard portion of his brain from sounding alarms to his every muscle that Death crept around the corner.

He took a hand off the wheel to reach for a pack of Camels tucked inside of a console. He shook the package to let one jut out so he could set it between his lips. In one motion he grabbed the gas station lighter and took a long drag of the cigarette. The nicotine would sooth his frayed nerves. He'd stopped so long ago. Years, in fact. Samantha had made him.

Sam. His mind began to wander once more. His loving wife. His addiction to nicotine and cheap alcohol were things he was so certain would be around for the rest of his life. He never even considered making it beyond his late twenties, let alone his early forties.

*Am I really making it though?* he thought to himself.

Sam had thrown him to the curb after his drunken mistake with Melody. Sam was his everything. A beacon that brought him to port. He took another drag of the cigarette and peered out the window to the massive trees grasping towards the sky that crawled by. The engine whined again as the incline turned steep once more. He pat the aged, crackling dashboard as though he were trying to sooth a beast of burden.

"There there," he whispered, cigarette hanging between his lips. "Not far now."

The cabin atop the hill was a rather small affair. Cozy, some would put it. From the outside it seemed as though it'd seen better days being shelter for wild frontiersmen. When Evan finally stepped out of the car and into the cabin, he was thoroughly shocked. All the comforts of home and then some. At the far end was a massive sliding glass door giving him a stunning view of the horizon lined with trees. A nice flat screen, satellite, a pinball machine, very comfortable looking sofa and chair, and that was just the living room.

The kitchen came complete with modern stove and appliances that looked like a showcase from The Price is Right, Evan mused. It even had a drawer full of coffee cups for the Keurig in the corner. He let out an impressed whistle as he took in his surroundings. It was far better in person than the photos he'd seen on the rental website. The bedroom had furniture that looked to be hand tooled. He then locked eyes with a mounted skull just above the dresser.

It looked to be a deer or some similar animal. It was surrounded by intricately woven strings broken apart here and there by colourful beads. The whole thing was surrounded by a wreath of soft leather and dangling just beneath were an assortment of large feathers and charms. He peered at it with a grotesque sort of curiosity. He'd seen trophies and the like that were stuffed and mounted and even the odd steer horns in a steakhouse but this was a sight foreign to him. He took out his phone and snapped a photo of it before deciding to ignore it.

It took him precious little time to unpack the car and leave it to it's long slumber after having made the trek up the mountain road. With him he'd brought two weeks worth of warm clothing, toiletries, and what he could only presume was two weeks worth of groceries that he tucked away in the refrigerator and pantry. He'd also stocked up on several cartons of cigarettes and cheap beers and wine for him to enjoy.

"Hopefully this'll last," he said to himself as he tucked away the last twenty-four pack of Sam Adams into the fridge. "Might have to make a beer run in the snow, though."

With his labors done he found himself stood in the middle of the living room alone. No more engine noise. No more shuffling things around. Just him in a flannel shirt, jeans and thick winter socks. Around him he was surrounded by silence. Were it not for his phone, he would be totally isolated from all human contact. He checked his phone again. A few bars, which was quite impressive. Even parts of Atlanta couldn't boast this sort of reliable coverage.

Once again alone with his thoughts amidst the stillness, he moved towards the sliding glass door and slipped on some house slippers he'd bought. The door rolled open effortlessly and he was greeted by the brisk cold of a January late afternoon. He could see the sea of green and white that were the trees surrounding him up here in this quiet part of the world. He put a cigarette to his lips and lit it to quiet his troubled mind once more.

His mind wandered freely here in the cold mountain air. To the bachelor party he attended with his friends Nick and Bruce. His eyes watched the sun slowly beginning to touch the tops of the trees far away from him. The sky began to turn a fiery orange.

*Just like her hair.* he thought to himself and shook his head.

Melody was a college student Bruce had been chatting with for a while. Nick getting married was the perfect opportunity to bring along his young friend and really chat her up while surrounded by all the sin and vice of your average bachelor party. Evan hadn't known that Melody would drift away from Bruce and soon come to him. Her red hair draped across youthful features. Soft, blue eyes staring up at him and pouty, soft red lips. They were both drunk. Evan, too drunk to remember the ring on his finger meant something.

"You fucking idiot," he said to himself as he rubbed his face.

To be idolized by those eyes. To feel that warmth against him. The youthful exuberance bouncing and grinding. He kicked the railing and cried in pain. This is what got him in trouble. Let the pain ground you. Focus and think with the big brain you dumb fucker. Melody was a mistake, not a trophy. You're paying for it now.

His mind buzzed and his foot throbbed as he finished his cigarette and flicked it over the edge to the ground far below. He rubbed his messy brown hair around on his head and wandered back inside. If he were going to do this much thinking, he wasn't about to do it sober. He returned to his fridge and cracked open his first beer. Turning the television on, he scrolled to Netflix and put in his info. He settled back and took a long pull from the can as he got ready for a night of mindless binge watching.

That's when his eyes met another eyeless skull hanging in the gloom of the ceiling high above. He hadn't seen it, so focused on other things. His expression flattened and he raised his drink towards it. A meaningless gesture, but it made him feel better. Try as he might, even as he became absorbed in the soft glow of the television before him, something about those black eyeless sockets etched themselves in the darkest corners of his mind.