Kaleidoscope

Chapter I

"Maya Matlin is dead." Those words cut me like a dagger. A jealous Dallas had stolen my phone last night and broke up with Maya as a horrible joke on me. I didn't let Maya know it wasn't me that night because I wanted her to sweat a little; it was a stupid mistake and now I can't tell her it was a joke. "You can't be serious, I just talked to Maya yesterday; she was alright."

A strange woman comes out of nowhere "This is Dr. Bennett, she will be here to talk to you if you need her" I don't need some counselor, I need Maya to come out from behind the potted plant punking me for not letting her in Dallas's text. Dr. Bennett breaks the silence "Has Maya shown any signs of being suicidal? Has she written about it or has anything happened to her that would lead her to want to end her life?" I'm not sure if there is some law that it becomes a crime to dump someone suicidal. I stay silent, I figure if I don't say anything that nothing can come back and bite me.

I stare out the window, and I see Maya, I wish I were outside with her than in this room talking to these people about Maya's suic…. Great. Now I'm seeing things. I blink a few times and Maya is still there. "May I be excused? I'd like to play hockey. I, uh, it helps me when I'm upset to practice." The look on the Principles face is indescribable; I leave with a nod from Dr. Bennett.

As I play hockey to get my mind off of me potentially becoming crazy I hear Maya's voice. I ignore it; I'm not going to be one of those guys who go crazy when their girlfriends die. "Stop ignoring me Cam!" I spin around and see Maya standing right before me. "But Maya….you're dead. No, wait. I can't talk to you. You're not here."

Maya seems to be thinking about what I said. "Well… I guess I am dead. But I don't remember dying. I had a dream you died. When I came to school and saw all the people sad I thought it was you in the green house, not me. Pretty weird; I never imagined people crying over me." Maya suddenly looked really sad. "You didn't cry for me Cam." Maya is right, I didn't cry for her.

I've been so stunned about this I didn't get the chance to actually let it sink in that I'll never see Maya again, but I DO see her. I don't even believe in ghosts, it's just me feeling guilty. "If I close my eyes, you'll be gone. You're not really here, Maya." I closed my eyes and counted to ten. When I opened my eyes Maya was gone. I then break down crying.

Everyone is looking at me like I'm the most fragile thing on earth. I'm not the one who decided to end my life over a stupid text; I'm not the one who's dead. I wish everyone was going crazy and seeing Maya that way they could stare at her and not me. Dallas won't even look me in the eyes, it's his fault she's dead. He practically put the knife to her wrists or the noose to her neck.

They haven't told us how she died. Mme. Jean-Aux was the one who found Maya this morning and she doesn't want to give us ideas to kill ourselves. I find that pretty stupid, we all know how to kill ourselves if we wanted to. Adults are really weird about suicide; they think that if they acknowledge the fact that suicide exists that it will happen. Everything is happening so fast.

They want to hold a vigil for Maya, and it's only been a day. Can they even ID a body that fast? Possibly Maya had a long lost twin who committed suicide and she's safe at home sick with the flu. Maya had the flu a lot; whenever something important came up she seemed to get out of it by being sick. Maya even skipped her huge audition last week because she was sick again.

The Vigil is so stupid. There are people holding candles bawling who didn't even know Maya. Sure Maya was in WhisperHug for a while, but she couldn't handle the stress from all of the "attention" she was getting and quit the band. Maya wasn't very popular, she hid behind her friend Tori, but when Tori and I momentarily had a thing Maya stopped being friends with Tori.

Thinking of Tori she is speaking about Maya, talking about her like they were still friends; Tori is a little snake. I wasn't dating Maya when Tori and I kissed, but it was all Tori anyway, I didn't realize she did it just to hurt Maya. I'm not that big of a jerk like the rest of the team, some even say I have half a heart. I look up to watch Tori fake cry for Maya when I see Maya standing behind her crying.

I want to run up and console her, but it's not real. I pull my little closemyeyesandmayawillbegone -trick, but she's still there. "Why can't anyone see me?!" Maya screams. I can see her. I look up at her, and she yells again, saying I'm the only one who sees her. I look around, and I see Eli standing far away from the rest looking at me, he looks at me in a different way from the rest of the student body. I don't exactly know Eli or what his big deal is other than his favorite color is obviously death.

I walk over to him out of curiosity. "You haven't figured it out yet, have you?" Eli asks. "Figured out WHAT exactly?" Eli smirks at me and walks away. I swear Goths are so weird. I know Jocks are stereotyped a jerks but we don't go around shooting up schools or anything.