The Force Betrayed: Cal Kestis x OC

21.

"Too anxious to sleep?" Cere finally spoke, interrupting the silence.

"No," she said, almost having to stifle an unexpected yawn. Her tiredness hadn't had time to dawn on her in hours. "I just keep thinking about my kyber crystal, and Cal's," she added, leaning back in her chair.

Cere crossed her arms and turned to face Sakana, the faint light of the nearby control panels reflecting against her dark skin. "What do you mean?"

"My crystal is yellow," she spoke, not making eye contact. "I know the crystal is determined by your character, but...it feels like my destiny is already set in stone, like I'm meant to only be a copy of my mother. I want to be myself. And Cal..." she paused, sighing, "his was purple. He's worried that his path will be...a dark one."

Cere paused and leaned forward, her elbows digging into her thighs as her chin rested on her folded hands.

"It's...more complicated than that," she sighed, glancing over at the control panels. "Think of it as the person influencing the color of the crystal rather than the crystal determining your path. At your core, you're balanced between the Force and practical knowledge, but beyond that...you choose how you use those skills. You choose when and where and how you help people, if at all. Cal has a stronger pull to the dark side, but he must choose not to become consumed by it. As I've told Cal, there may be a destiny that guides you but you always, always have a choice, Sakana. Don't ever let yourself forget that."

Sakana met her eyes and an understanding came between them, filling Sakana's chest with a deep breath of relief. It had been so long since she'd had someone who could answer her questions or someone to confide in, and she had seldom felt as heard as she did now.

Her tiredness burned at her eyes as she looked away and nodded, stifling another yawn. "Thank you, Cere. I think I could use some sleep."

They smiled at each other softly as Sakana stood up and turned around to walk towards her room, the gentle hum of the Mantis against her feet soothing her nerves. Her arm brushed against her side pocket and caught on the journal, reminding her of the ancient book. She hadn't attempted to open it up since she had met Cal, and a certain curiosity came over her as she thought about her experiences in the cave. She wanted to try and open it, but she wasn't sure if that was a good idea now that she was around other Force-sensitive people, especially Cal, who seemed to be able to see into her mind through mere touch. She was too vulnerable here, and surrounded by people who couldn't know her true identity...yet.

As she took off her outer robes and laid on the thin mattress, the thoughts about the journal wouldn't leave her mind. Her mother wouldn't leave her thoughts either, and she couldn't stop thinking about her voice. Eryyyn had spoken to her, but if it was a visit from her mother's Force ghost or just her imagination, Sakana couldn't be sure. Despite the near impossibility of the idea, she still couldn't let it go.

Her mind became quiet, however, once her eyes closed in the calm, dark box of the Mantis, and the whir of machines and the beeps of monitors became a familiar lullaby.

*****

One and a Half Months Before Present-Day

"I really hope our station gets moved," the stormtrooper from below Sakana said. "Men keep going missing in the Shadowlands."

Sakana sighed as silently as she could to herself as she listened to their conversation, wondering how on Kashyyyk these soldiers could stand amongst her ruined planet. Their men were disappearing in the Shadowlands because they didn't belong there, and many of the creatures the Wyyyschokks and Slyyygs relied on for food were dying out from the environmental disturbance. The stormtroopers, to them, were just a snack.