A/N: I know I just did a mom chapter, but living with her is just funny. So here is some mom conversations with her. This is mix of being at home and in the car
Mom: what channel was that show we were watching last night?
Me: *just waking up and aggressively drinking my caffeine drink* I don't know. Look in the last used apps.
Mom: you're no help
Me: I just woke up, my brain is still asleep
Mom: *sips coffee while staring at me*
Me: I do not remember what channel it was on. You have the remote to the smart tv.
Mom: found it. No help from you.
Me: *eats pop tart while checking phone*
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Mom: can you move your fat head, I can't see around your fat head
Me: I can't become one with the seat.
Mom: are any cars coming that way?
Me: no
Car: comes speeding in front of us
Me: still no
Mom: fucking really?
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Me: how are we already on season two?
Mom: because we are
Me: didn't we start this show today?
Mom: no, yesterday
Me: oh...
Me: I have no concept of time don't I?
Mom: none at all whatsoever
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Mom: curse you peacock tv
Me: wait, what did you say?
Mom: curse you. peacock tv
Me: oh
Mom: what did you think I said
Me: curse you pp
Mom: starts laughing
Me: also starts laughing
Mom: you're no help
Me: wheezing
Mom: none at all whatsoever
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Me: has headphones on and is blaring music
Mom: Sam. Sam. SAM!
Me: moves one headphone cuff to hear her
Mom: starts to talk about the new politic drama
Me: moves my headphones back into place
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Mom: this fucking idiot has no turn signal, do cars not come with turn signals anymore
Me: can I jump out of the car
Mom: what
Me: what
(The jumping out of the car was a joke btw, I have dark humor)
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Mom: do you smell that?
Me: doing schoolwork
Mom: stares at me
Me: what?
Mom: do you smell that?
Me: I just farted
Mom: I smell fresh baked bread
Me: ok... and?
Mom: maybe I am having a stroke
Me: ok. Don't die. Or do, you're 52 grown ass years old, do what you want.
Mom: starts laughing
Me: turns into a kettle
YOU ARE READING
Real Conversations
Non-FictionHere is some insane, but true conversations with my friends in discord, iMessage, and irl
