SMILE | Jeff the Killer x Reader

23: Merciful

A haze clouded (Y/N)'s eyes as her once vivid (E/C)'s turned murky and glossed over in an instant. Her breath seemed to get stuck inside her throat as no air entered (Y/N)'s burning lungs. She couldn't move. She couldn't think. (Y/N) could do nothing but be encapsulated by her own hands doing.

Not even realizing she was falling, Jeff ran over and caught her limp body. It was like (Y/N) lost control of her own body and was only able to be locked onto the mauled corpse in front of her. She couldn't feel anything, not even a finger. She simply lay there and wished for that ever growing lump in her chest to pop already.

(Y/N) felt her face get forced to look away from the blurry, red mass she created. Now her new vision was on Jeff. He was looking down at her and through her hazy view, she could see his mouth moving. Was he talking to her?

"Snap.... it..... (Y/)...."

Jeff's voice faded in and out of (Y/N)'s ears despite her trying to listen. She has never felt this out of it. It's as if her soul had disconnected from her body, disabling all movement and trapping her in limbo. Maybe if she just closed her eyes, all of the humming in her head would go away.

"(Y/N)!"

(Y/N)'s eyes snapped open in a panic. She first noticed a white hoodie and as her eyes trailed up higher, she saw Jeff peering down at her with a calm expression but she could swear she could see his eyebrow twitch and jaw flex in worry. "What's happening?" (Y/N)'s voice came out in nothing but a hoarse whisper.

She felt Jeff's lap holding up her head and the leaf covered floor hugging her body. Lifting her shaking hands, she saw the remains of carnage staining her once innocent fingers. (Y/N) touched her face and felt cold, salty tears streaming down her cheeks without her even realizing.

"You collapsed. Are you okay to sit up?" Jeff asked slowly, careful not to startle the quivering girl. (Y/N) nodded and with a tender push, hoisted herself into a sitting position. Jeff quickly shifted to sit in front of her, blocking out the view of the mangled corpse. (Y/N) stared at nothing in particular, her thoughts were far, far away as the deeply unsettled feeling took refuge in her stomach.

Jeff shifted awkwardly, unsure of what to say. It was clear to him, she needed reassurance and comfort. But nothing came to mind. He hasn't comforted a person since..

"Wanna talk about it?" Jeff spoke, his voice meeker than usual, which (Y/N) appreciated greatly. The forest was quiet, only a distant bird sang a haunting melody. A stark contrast to the heavy feeling weighing down the air as the pair sat together in blood and dirt. (Y/N)'s gaze shifted to Jeff. He stared at her, waiting for her answer.

"I.." (Y/N) began, words struggling to come out, "I.. killed him." Her palms formed into fists and her nails dug in deep, cutting her but she didn't mind. At least she could feel something.

"Yes you did." Jeff confirmed. He was unsure of how to proceed, deciding (Y/N) should just let it out rather than him prompting her to.

(Y/N) shut her eyes tightly, "Jeff.." she took a deep breath in, "I didn't mean to.. I was so scared." Jeff continued to gaze at her, not saying anything even when her lip quivered and her hands shook.

"Despite all that," (Y/N) let out a small whimper, "I don't regret it. I don't feel sad he's gone. I don't feel sad that any of them are gone."

Jeff's eyebrows immediately shot up in surprise. Out of everything she could've said, that was the last thing he expected to hear. She was clearly disturbed, sure, but she felt no remorse over what she did. Despite her obvious distress, Jeff couldn't say he didn't feel a twinge of pride within his gut.

Upon seeing her face scrunch up though, he quickly leapt to assure her, "Hey, hey, listen. You did nothing wrong. Those guys were sacks of shit, you defended yourself. You're safe now." It felt ironic for him to say that, considering he was probably even worse than they were, but (Y/N) smiled lightly at his words so Jeff didn't feel so much like a hypocrite anymore.

"And hey if it counts for anything, I think you looked really hot doing it," Jeff wiggled his eyebrows jokingly and (Y/N) couldn't help but laugh. Her face felt hot and she wasn't sure if it was the blood rushing to her face or the literal blood staining her skin.

Peeking out from behind Jeff, she caught a glimpse of Blake's arm and tears immediately brimmed her eyes. She shut them quickly and without thinking, threw herself into Jeff's arms. Jeff stiffened up and immediately flashed back to the knife range as a wave of deja vu hit him like a truck. Still, he ensnared the girl and rubbed his hands in circles on her back, trying his best to lighten her mood.

(Y/N) squeezed Jeff, letting herself feel his warmth and the softness of his hoodie. His coarse, black hair tickled her cheek but she didn't care. Inhaling deeply, she ignored the metallic stench of blood and let Jeff's pine scent envelop her into its warm embrace. (Y/N) opened her eyes.

"Let's go home, yeah?" Jeff asked. She said nothing. Just stared at the bloodshed she caused, feeling something shift inside her.

⭑

The walk home felt slow and treacherous and (Y/N)'s body felt heavy and ragged. She was incredibly tired and incredibly desperate to wash off her sins of tonight. Kicking rocks as she walked, the two said nothing. Jeff's hands were deep inside his pockets and (Y/N)'s hung loose by her sides.

As the house came into view, Jeff spoke up, "(Y/N), it's fine if you just wanna stay in your room for the rest of the night. But um.. you can come to me if you need anything." He smiled. (Y/N) smiled too. He was trying, and (Y/N) appreciated that. He could've left her there. Let her rot away or let the police take her. Maybe he did care about her deep inside. Just a bit.

"Thanks.." she nodded, earnestly, "I'll let you know if I do." With that, she split off from Jeff and entered the house, trudging up the stairs and entering the place she needed the most. The bathroom.

Stripping off her clothes, she set the water on hot and stepped in. Water mixed with blood and cascaded into the drain in red waves, erasing all trace of the events prior. As soon as the water ran clear, so did her thoughts. (Y/N) closed her eyes and let her mind wander.

She killed a man and didn't regret it. They were the ones who assaulted her first after all. Jeff was right, it was only self defence. She felt relief and something else that she couldn't quite pinpoint.

She frowned. Jeff. She was no better than him now, she not only caused the death of one man but technically caused the deaths of the others too. "They deserved it." she reminded herself.

A sudden realization crossed her mind and (Y/N) swallowed thickly. She couldn't leave now. If she did, she would get arrested for sure. She couldn't take that risk, she would stick it out with Jeff as long as she could. As long as he wouldn't get bored of her first. (Y/N) winced.

She was a murderer, what's done is done. She could only pray, she could be forgiven. (Y/N) turned the water off and left behind what little normality she had left.

Soon she will find out that actions have consequences. God isn't so merciful, after all.