Nikki Potter: A Heart's Choice

Chapter nine-

A/N: Thanks to Nico511 for the awesome banner :D

Nikki sat with her head turn slightly down, she listened to the chatter around her, but she did not partake. Instead she traced the rim of her goblet that she would every so often take small sips from, and she barely touched her food.

She felt eyes on her, but she wasn't sure whose. But she did her best to ignore it, she rather be in the common room studying than at this dinner party, normally she likes them, but she wasn't in the mood to be at one.

“Ms. Potter.” said Professor Slughorn, Nikki looked up quickly “You have been awfully quiet tonight, have you have barely touched your food. Is something wrong?” he asked, making more people look at Nikki, waiting to see what was going on.

Words struggled to form in Nikki's head, and it made it even less easy when everybody was staring at her. She felt like this often when called upon in class to answer some sort of question “Yes, what's wrong, dear?” said and older Hufflepuff student, that Nikki was sure was in their 7th year.

Nikki opened her mouth slightly, but no words came out, and the thought of what was going on made her eyes burn with tears. Should she tell them and it over with? So she wouldn't have to tell them later on?

For a brief moment, Nikki's eyes flickered over to Lily, who looked like she wanted to say something, but didn't. She hadn't spoken to her or Severus since last year, when their friendship fell apart over a slip of the tongue.

With a deep shaky breath, the words Nikki needed finally came to her “My parents died.” confessed Nikki and shut her eyes tightly, to keep the tears that were threatening to spill back “Is that what you all wanted to know so badly?” she asked, not opening her eyes “ I didn't want to tell anyone, I could barely tell two of my best friends, its not like it will bring my parents back.” added Nikki softly.

This information surprised Severus, he felt like a fool for thinking he was the reason she didn't want to go. Severus found himself standing up from his chair, and walked over to Nikki, who watched him from the moment he got up from his chair.

Once Severus reached Nikki, she stared up at him with curiosity in her misty eyes “Are you okay?” asked Severus, only loud enough for Nikki's ears, but even then, it took Nikki a moment to realize those words were meant for her.

Nikki shook her head “No. I am not..” whispered Nikki, was she ever okay though? That wasn't something she was sure of, if she thought of it, the only times she ever actually felt okay was sometimes when she was at Hogwarts.

Suddenly, Severus took Nikki's hand and lifted up from her chair, not realizing Nikki's eyes never left his “ We are leaving, she is obviously not in the state to attend this” announced Severus, gaining looks from other students and some whispered.

Severus lead Nikki out of the room without another word, and even once they got out of the room, he didn't let go of Nikki's hand. Something inside him didn't want to let go of her hand, it felt right to him, holding her hand.

“You didn't have to do that or come with me...” said Nikki, she didn't get why Severus didn't want to stay to be with Lily, even if Lily wasn't speaking to him. She figured that Severus would like just being in the same room as her.

Severus shrugged “Its better than sitting through that.” he said, still not letting go of Nikki's hand “ I wanted to talk to you anyway” added Severus, what he wanted to talk to her about wasn't exactly something he could bring up at the dinner party.

Nikki turned her gaze away, she wasn't sure that was something she should feel complimented by “What do you need to talk about?” asked Nikki, her gaze still turned away. Her mind ran through the possibilities of what Severus could talk about.

Severus finally let go of Nikki's hand and turned towards her, he wasn't too sure how Nikki would react, but it was bugging him and he needed say it “Have you noticed anything weird about Lupin?” asked Severus, sneering when he said Lupin.

The feeling of mild relief left Nikki soon as Severus asked that, and her mood seemed to dampen, as if she didn't feel bad enough already “What do you mean?” asked Nikki, trying to hide the fact that she was annoyed.

“Haven't you noticed that he is gone an awful lot?” questioned Severus, he was sure that if anyone could confirm his suspensions it would be Nikki “Don't you find that a bit... odd?” he added, carefully watching Nikki's expression.

Nikki's stomach fell to her feet “He is sick.. He has been for awhile” lied Nikki, she wasn't going to tell that Remus was werewolf, it was not her secret to tell “James thinks he must've caught it from his mother sometime between the end of his first year and second.” added Nikki, hoping that it would seem more truthful.

Severus stared at her for a long moment in silence, wondering if Nikki actually thought that or if she knew something more “Every full moon?” asked Severus, raising a brow at Nikki, who surprisingly kept her expression from showing anything.

“You don't know him like I do.” said Nikki, her gaze shifting to the wall closet to her “He is sick.” stated Nikki, hoping he would believe it “I'm not in the mood to deal with this and I don't appreciate you suggesting something is up with my best friend” she added.

Nikki turned from Severus and began walking away “Nikki, wait.” said Severus, guilt formed inside of him, he regretted ever bringing that up. He didn't want to lose Nikki, he already lost Lily, he couldn't deal with losing them both.

Tears prickled at Nikki's eyes “I just want to go back to the common room, I never wanted to come out tonight anyway. I can't deal with all this.” said Nikki, loud enough for Severus to hear as she walked away from him to head back to the common room.

As she walked away, it came apparent to Severus that he needed to tell her that he actually devolved feelings for her.. But he was scared that it was too late, and that Remus was right when he said that Nikki may get feelings for him one day.

But how was he supposed to tell her? He thought about telling Lily several times, but Nikki wasn't like her, she was different... And she still talked to him, even when he told her he became a death eater..

Only thing that Nikki and Lily truly had in common, they were both Gryffindors who didn't care that he was in Slytherin, most Slytherin and Gryffindor didn't get along... Another thing that separated them was Nikki still cared about him, even with the dark side that he had, even when Lily didn't...

Severus wished that he had feelings for Nikki when she had said she had feelings for him, things would be easier for him. At least in a way, Severus knew that it meant that James would bully him more, but a part of him didn't care. Nikki still liked him... right?