I HATE YOUR GUTS ☆

Chapter 1 ☆

as i said in the preface, i will be giving each chapter a song

song #1: From The Start by laufey <3

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I wasn't sure how it happened, or why it happened. All I knew was that it happened, and now I was packing my entire life into four boxes big enough to hold me. Packing everything seemed like a daunting task, but it was easier than I thought. That was unsettling to me. It appeared I was successfully going to fit everything, which left a rotting feeling in my chest that would never leave me.

As I held and packed every item, I wished I could reminisce and be reminded of those special memories, but all I thought of was how absolutely absurd this was. How was it fair that I was just supposed to do everything I was told? I mean, I wasn't even consulted about the decision to move! Do my parents just expect me to leave my friends, my school, and my childhood all behind? Do they even care about all that? I was starting to think they didn't.

"Audrey!" my mom called from downstairs.

"Coming!" I replied, dropping the shirt I was holding into a box.

I frowned, as I walked into our now empty living room. It just seemed so bare.

"Oh, hey honey, could you help me with this?"

"Okay."

I didn't want to help her, I didn't want any part of this, but I knew this wasn't her choice either. I suppose it wasn't any of our choices. My dad had been offered another job, a better job, in Colorado so he took it. I didn't blame him for taking it, it was practical. He's practical. A part of me just wished he could have thought about it, just for a second. I knew he didn't. I knew he had said yes the minute he heard that flashy number. I guess knowing that hurt more than everything else.

I grabbed one end of the coffee table, as my mom grabbed the other end.

"1, 2," my mom counted, "3!"

We lifted the table and carried it outside to my dad.

"How about this?" my mom asked, analyzing our coffee table.

"Hm, I'm not sure. It's a little dinged up."

"Well of course it's dinged up," my mom said laughing, "We've had it since Audrey was born."

My mom masked pain with laughter, it was something we shared.

"You know what I mean, I'm just not sure how much we could get for it. Maybe we should trash it."

"Trash it? Are you kidding me?"

"Look, we either trash it or give it away, it's your choice."

Anger flashed through my mother's eyes,"Fine, do whatever you want with it."

"Mary, don't be like that," my dad said, grabbing her hand.

She shook her head, swatting his hand away, "No, I'm fine, I'll go get the rest of the boxes."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure," she said with one final tight smile, we both watched her walk away.

Finally, my dad turned to look at me. I didn't like when he looked at me.

"So, have you said goodbye to your friends?"

"Yes I did, yesterday. It was h-"

"What about that boyfriend of yours?"

Oh. "Um, yeah," I swallowed hard, looking away. I didn't like that my dad knew about Jackson. I wasn't sure why, it was just unsettling.

"Yeah? What'd he say?"

"Oh, you know, not much. He said he'd miss me and that he'd call." That was a lie, he said a lot more than that.

"Oh? So are you still together?"

I snorted, "Yeah, of course."

He raised an eyebrow.

"Why wouldn't we be?"

"Well, long distance relationships can be hard, and you guys are still just kids."

"Dad, Jackson's a senior, he's about to be in college."

"Yes, and you're only a junior."

"It's only a one year difference," I said, defensively.

"Audrey, I know to you a one year difference isn't a lot, but it is-"

"Dad-"

"Audrey, listen to me. I can't control who you date and I'm not going to try, but all I'm asking you is to be careful."

"God dad! Why can't you be happy for me? Why can't you ever just be happy for me?" I didn't want an answer, what I really wanted was to run away and disappear forever. Instead, I just stood there with mascara running down my cheeks, staring at my dad's solemn face.

"Do you even have an answer? I deserve an answer! I deserve-" I shook my head, "I deserve something."

I wasn't sure what to expect. Anything seemed plausible, maybe he'd scream at me, maybe he'd slap me, maybe he'd deny it. Instead, he walked away. He fucking walked away. That was more painful than any slap. 

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i hope u all enjoyed <3