The Truce

Chapter 12

Once Scott was gone, I felt both relieved and guilty. What I said was true - nothing physical had actually happened, but it also felt like a lie. Something had happened between Sebastian and me. I couldn't quite pinpoint what it was, but I didn't have to wonder how Scott would feel about it.

The hall was deserted by this point. Natalie was going to kill me for making her wait so long. I started hurrying but felt someone watching before I got too far, and stopped. Something told me to keep going. I should have listened.

"Is that how all of your fights go?" Sebastian asked from where he leaned on the wall, just around the corner from where Scott and I had been fighting. "He yells at you and then you apologize and say whatever he wants to hear?"

"Do you always eavesdrop on other people's private conversations?" I crossed my arms, embarrassed by his summary.

"It's not a habit," he said, pushing off the wall and coming over to me. "And it wasn't my intention now, but you guys were kind of loud and you were talking about me."

My face reddened as I realized he was right. He heard, firsthand, just how nuts he made Scott.

"What are you even doing here?" I asked. "Don't you have practice or something?"

He watched me strangely. "I decided to risk running laps to be a little late."

As he was just standing here, I could only assume I was the reason he'd made that decision.

I swallowed thickly. "Why would you do that?"

"Wanted to give you a message."

"What kind of message?" I knew I shouldn't have asked. I should never have stopped to talk at all.

Instead of answering, Sebastian closed the few feet that still separated us and pulled my face to his. He slid his hand in my hair and kissed me deeply. Desperately. As if he'd waited a while to do it.

My brain apparently took a vacation because my arms went around his neck, my fingers sliding into his hair, and I kissed him back. I hadn't even realized I wanted it, but now that it was happening, it was incredible.

Sebastian seemed happy to go on for quite a while, but my brain started working again and I pushed him away.

"Off limits," I gasped, remembering Scott's request.

Sebastian chuckled. "Yeah, I'd say so."

"What were you thinking?" I took a step back and put my hand to my head. "I can't kiss you, Sebastian! I'm with Scott."

"Well, you shouldn't be!"

"You don't get to make that decision."

"I don't understand how you can keep letting him treat you like he does. He walks all over you and you apologize!"

"That's not true!"

"He treats you like garbage and you keep giving him a pass. Why? You should have dumped him after he left you at the library, and I'd be willing to bet that wasn't the first time."

Angrily, I shook my head, not willing to have this discussion.

"Why Michaela? You wouldn't even talk to me for years after hurting you one time. When I was just a stupid kid. He does it over and over, knowing full well what he's doing, and you keep forgiving him."

I scowled at the floor, unwilling to look at him.

He grabbed my chin and pulled my face up.

"Why?"

"Because!"

"That's not a reason," he said flatly.

"Because...I don't feel about him the way I felt about you!" I felt myself losing control. My eyes filled with tears and Sebastian allowed his hand to fall away. "You were my best friend. I trusted you in a way I never trusted anyone. I thought you'd never hurt me. When Natalie told me, I yelled at her. I said she was jealous and I tried to hate her because I knew she had to be lying. It was impossible for you to do something like that. And then..." The tears ran down my face as I remembered the hurt.

He closed his eyes remorsefully. "I don't know how to make you believe I'm sorry for that. I was sorry as soon as it happened. I hate myself for it."

I didn't know either. I mean, I believed he was sorry, but I didn't know how to make myself trust him not to hurt me again.

"With Scott." I shrugged. "I went into it knowing boys say and do stupid things. I know they hurt you."

Sebastian scowled. "So you'll just take it because you had a warning label?"

I stared into his eyes, having no earthly clue what I was going to do. "I...."

"Even if you can't forgive me, don't stay with him. He doesn't deserve you either."

And what about me? What did I deserve?

Not wanting to talk about this anymore, I turned and ran, hoping he wouldn't follow. Hoping he would.

I made it all the way to where Natalie waited by her car, thankfully alone. She took one look at my face and pulled me into her arms.