Secrets Revealed

Box Of Secrets

TW: Self Harm
So many secrets had been revealed recently but still more were hidden. Then the box came. The box that revealed yet another secret. A deadly secret that K has kept hidden since he was only eleven.
That day they were just eating a meal together. Tong Yao left to answer the door and they heard a painfilled yelp come from the front hall. Cat ended the livestream, and they all ran to the scene with Cheng leading the way of course. When they got there, they saw Tong Yao kneeling on the floor in front of a blue gift box holding her hand that was bleeding badly. Cheng swept her up and carried her away to the living area, while the rest investigated the scene. Cat picked up a cockroach "Disgusting." He said and threw in back into the box. Lu Yue was knelt by the box looking at it with Chubby. A glint caught Chubby's eye and moving the shredded paper in the box around he picked up a razor blade. Everyone stared at in with wide eyes before Chubby reached down and put it back in the box and pull out a note. "Theres a letter." K stared at the box with his arms crossed over his chest. When he saw there were even more blades, he swallowed a lump in his throat that felt like it was trying to choke him. "What does it say?" Lu Yu asks. "'This is only a little punishment. You're so arrogant. You better not take apart any more competitions. It's only a short distance from the spectators' seats to the players seats." K leaned over Chubby's shoulder to look at the threating letter. "Obviously it's against Tong Yao." Ming said. "I'll take it away." Cat volunteered. "Wait a minute." Rui stopped him and pulled out his phone. "I'll take some photos first." "Yeah, it's evidence." Ming said. K could barely hear all this that was being said, his head felt like it was underwater and he stared at the box and its contents. He couldn't seem to move his eyes away. He was brought back to reality when Tong Yao was brought up and Rui left on the phone with the police. They walked over to the room and peeked in to check on Tong Yao who was being bandaged up my Cheng. They were looking at each other so Rui said "Why don't we leave them alone for now." Ming ushered them to the training area and they all stared training for their next competitions. All K could focus on though was the box not the game. That person clearly was blaming her for their previous loss because him and Cat were fighting. It wasn't her fault. So why should she be hurt? She wasn't the one who deserved it. He thought. He tried to control his pondering somewhat but then the dark came back again and he couldn't stop it. Tong Yao was hurt because of you. If you hadn't started that fight with Cat the team would have won and she wouldn't be hurt. Ironic isn't it that the weapon was razors. Your old best friend. K violently pushed his chair away from his computer, tore the headphones off and sprinted upstairs to his and Cat's shared room, leaving everyone confused and worried.
K paced around the room trying to get the thoughts to stop before he decided to take a shower. They sometimes help calm him. The thing that scared him the most was the fact that they were thoughts. The other times he had seen this people said they were a voice or voices but the only voice inside his mind was his. Yet he couldn't stop them. He would rather have voices in his head instead of just hearing his own voice say these thoughts to him. This had always terrified him, ever since he was eleven. He was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he just stood under the water raining down on him until all heat had left it. He jumped when he heard a knock at the door. "Bro, you okay? You have been in there for a really long time." K turned the water off and shouted out "Uh, yeah. Yeah. Just give me a minute. I'll be right out." He hastily dried himself and threw on the clean outfit he brought with him. When he opened the door there was Cat looking at the large bookcase that him and K shared. Cat's side was filled with pictures of his family, special mementos, or of workout routine books. K's side was only books, notebooks, or drawing pads. Nothing really special. No family photos. No objects from his childhood. But if you looked into the notebooks or drawing pads, those were his treasures. Every note book and drawing pad was organized in his own way. Some being drawings of him and the team, or of writings about what fun they had that day. But some if you looked inside others, you would see drawings, sad, dark drawings, songs and poems filled with pain and hurt. No one knows those though. K would sometimes share the happier ones but never once had anyone seen the others. "Finally. Thought you drowned in there. Come on, Mingi called a team meeting." Cat told him.
It did not get past K that Tong Yao and Rui weren't there as they watched a replay of their last games. "You and Cat's tactics have been studied completely. Next time use different ones." Cheng told the Jungler and Topsolo. After he said that Tong Yao and Rui came up the stairs. "I've got something to say. Because of what happened just now the club has decided.... The club has decided that Tong Yao will not take part in the competition against Red Arrow for security reasons. Lu Yu will be the starting player." Rui said. "Tong Yao, you agreed?" Cheng asked. "I think it's okay. Lu Yu can use this opportunity to practice other shikigamis. It may be useful in future competitions." "Besides the club made this decision for safety concerns. Since she's at the eye of the storm there is no reason for her to save face without regard for her own safety." "Besides, I have discussed this the Rui. We plan not to announce this for fear others might follow suit. Then I'm not the only one who has hard luck. I don't want my fans to worry about me either. Then there will be more rumors about me again." Tong Yao explained. Everyone except for Cheng nodded their heads in understanding. Cheng however left. Ming pulled Tong Yao aside to talk with her for a few minutes before the others were told that they should do more training. Tong Yao went outside after Cheng and everyone else went down to the training area. Cat leaned over to K at the end of their game and said "I want to ask you something." "What is it?" "Why was Cheng so angry when he left?" "Figure it out yourself." "Ah, I'm asking the wrong person!" Cat exclaimed annoyed that he did get the answer he was hoping for. They went back to playing more rounds of the game until they were all almost falling asleep on the keyboards.
K couldn't sleep though. The thoughts hadn't stopped and the itch had come back. The itch that made him want to slice his thighs again and again as he watched the blood drip out. He grabbed his notebook and drawing pad the ones the no one had seen and went out to the balcony. The night sky was clear, he could see every star. The air around him was slightly cold but not enough that he needed a coat. He turned on the outside light that they had installed for him when Cat complained about being kept up all night by him reading, drawing, or writing. K made sure the curtains behind the windows were closed before he sat down and began to write.
He wrote, and wrote. He wrote out the pain, the guilt, the sadness all onto a page. His mind wandered back to what Cat had said hours ago though. "'I thought you drowned in there.'" Oh how simple and easy that would be. Cause right now he felt like all of the pain, and guilt, and thoughts of how he deserved it felt like they could be equal to the weight of the world.
The weight of the world. That was exactly how he felt, and that was the most perfect way to describe. This might be an idea. He got back to work writing furiously until almost an hour later he looked at his work somewhat proudly. This was good. Good enough to share with others. If he ever would. Which was a very unlikely possibility. He finally felt his eyelids getting heavy, so he went back to bed. This time sleep came easily, and it was one night that he avoided having bleeding thighs again. But not all good moments last.
For the next few days Cheng had been upset about the incident still, Tong Yao was acting differently, everyone else though, they all acted normally. Or as normal as they could be because lets just face it sometimes a person could walk in there and think they enter a house of crazy people. K tried to act like his normal self as best he could and his efforts were not all in vain. Cheng and Tong Yao never noticed. Then again, they were to wrapped up with each other to notice anything. Chubby and Rui didn't see anything different going on with him. But Ming and Cat he worried about, he saw the glances, the worried looks, and the how they tried more often to be around him more. But Lu Yu, Lu Yu was the biggest problem. The concerned looks and glances, how he made extra sure that K had eaten, among other things all gave K the feeling that he knew. He knew that was probably ridiculous how would he know there was literally no way. But it still gave K an uneasy feeling but at the same time a feeling of relief that if someone at least was closing in on what was going on maybe they might be able to stop him before he went to far. He started back into his old habits two days after the incident. Slicing his thighs until he had a hard time concealing and shoving back the tears. If anyone looked closely, they would see how K would wince slightly when he sat down or how if he bumped into something how he would bite his lips quickly and his eyes flash in pain. K was smart though. He knew when one more was too far, and he knew that if he ran out of space to alternate thighs never go to his wrists. He needed those uninjured to be able to play. It was also much harder to hide them on his wrists. One brush of the sleeve could reveal. On his thighs no one would find out. But sometimes one more can overtake.
Just one more. One more then you'll be done. It'll get rid of everything. His thoughts told him as K sat on the edge of the bathtub a bloody razor in hand and his thighs bleeding onto the black tile. Something told him to stop that he shouldn't but K listened instead to the thoughts telling him one more. But the blood on the razor made it hard to hold so he had to apply more pressure to keep it between his fingers. And just one more quickly became one too much, as a thud from outside the door made K jump and the razor press deeper into his thigh. When he looked down, he immediately realized the mistake. The cut was bleeding to quickly. He grabbed a towel in hope that he could stop the bleeding as he searched in the cupboards under the sink for gauze. He found what he needed and quickly wrapped his thigh tightly and cleaned the bloody mess up before he opened the door making sure to tie the ties on his pajama pants extra tight. Looking around the room he saw the thud came from his notebook. It had fallen off the shelf that K had barely placed it on. He went and picked up then went to get dressed for the day. Ming, Cat, and Lu Yu could see as soon as K had come down the stairs that something was not right. He was to pale, his eyes clearly showed pain, and his overall attitude was off. They knew it had been off all week but this was much different. When it was time for breakfast K barely ate anything no matter how much his teammates tried to get him to eat just a bite more. And when they stood up from the table to go do some training K stumbled like he was dizzy. They all tried to think of what it might be before Ming asked K with wide eyes "K, K what is that?" He asked pointing to a dark stain on his black skinny jeans. K looked down to see and gulped saying "I don't know. I must have gotten paint or something on them." No one bought the excuse for a minute. Cat who was passing K's chair saw red on the seat on the side where the stain on K's jeans was. A red that could only be one thing. It didn't look like paint at all it looked like.... Blood.
"K, this isn't paint! Guys, this blood!' Cat exclaimed pulling the chair out from under the table. All eyes turned to K who somehow turned even paler then before. Rui went over to see if Cat was right and that this wasn't just another prank like they all hoped. "It's true, this blood." The only K could say that wouldn't reveal him was a lie. So that's what he said. A lie. "It's fine. I just, must have cut my leg on my bedside table without noticing." This was a probability because K's bedside table looked like a bunch of broken pieces of glass melted together and had some sharp points that would be around the height of the stain. "K-" Ming tried to start. K already knew that they didn't believe him but he was stubborn and wasn't going to back down so he cut Ming off. "I said I was fine. Come one guys. Let's go do some training." But as he walked over to the training area black spots dotted his vision and he could feel himself losing balance and falling to the floor. The others ran over to him concerned. "Rui! Get the team doctor over here as soon as possible!" Ming shouted. Rui did as he was told while the others swarmed around K. Cat picked him up off the floor and carried him to the couches where he laid him and sat down by him. Cat sat by K's head with Ming and Lu Yu sitting down too. Because of that line of the teammates who were closer to him the others Tong Yao, Cheng, and Chubby could only stand and watch what happened. Rui finally came running back saying that the doctor was on his way. Ming, Cat, and Lu Yu continued to sit by K sometimes assuring him that he would be okay. They were doing all they could to keep him conscious but despite their best-efforts K fell unconscious right as the doctor rang the doorbell. "K! K, wake up!" Rui led the doctor over to the couch were K lay and told the rest to leave so that the doctor could do his work. For what seemed like hours they waited to hear what had happened until finally the doctor entered the dining room where they were all just staring at each other, anxious to hear what happened, to unfocused to do anything else. "Do I tell everyone or is there anyone that is close to K that I should tell privately instead?" The doctor began. "Tell all of us." Ming answered. "He lost consciousness from blood loss. The blood loss was from a large cut on his thigh." "Do you- Do you have an idea of what made the cut?" Lu Yu asked. "Most likely from what I could see it was self-inflicted." "And how can you tell that?" Cheng asks. "The angle the cut was made at. And, the easiest factor to see is that he has multiple scars on his thighs." The doctor told them. A heavy silence fell on the group as they wondered how could K do this to himself? Why did he to this to himself? And how did we not notice sooner? Rui showed the doctor out while everyone else just sat silently and as still as statues. The first person to move was Ming, he went back on the floor by K where he was previously before the doctor came. K was still unconscious. Lu Yu and Cat also sat back down on the floor by K while Cheng stood by K's head hugging Tong Yao. Chubby was sitting at the very end of the couch eating his dried mango. The room kept silent until sometime later, no one knew how long but it felt like days, K's eyes fluttered open again. "How are you feeling?" Tong Yao asked him. "Tired. What happened?" K asked. "K, you passed out from blood loss." Cat told him. They could almost literally see the wheels spin in K's mind as he tried to remember. They watched as his face bled from confusion to fear. "D-do you know?" K asked not looking at anyone. "Yeah. Why would you do this to yourself?" Ming asked. "You wouldn't understand." "Try me." Lu Yu told him. It was true that Cheng had been being more watchful of his brother, now he knew what happened with him after he was banned he wanted to make sure he protected his younger brother. But the thought of why he might also understand this was to much and he sent a worried look to his brother portraying all of his questions. "It's not like that. But I do understand. Cheng do you remember Kai?" Lu Yu explained. Kai was Lu Yu's best friend growing up before he left to play E-sports. They still keep in touch and talk to each other at least once a week. But Kai when he and Lu Yu were teens fell into depression and would cut himself. He didn't stop until Lu Yu found out. Lu Yu helped him through it and would often spend most days with him. "Did he?" Cheng asked. "Yup, I helped him through it but it was still hard for both of us." "All this time I thought you two were secretly dating because of all the time you two spent together." Cheng said and everyone laughed, even K. "K, come on. Please try to explain." Cat pleaded with him after. "Just start off simple. When did this start?" Lu Yu asked. He knew breaking it down would help. "The first time? Or now?" Asked K quietly. "Just this time you don't share that other time unless you want to." "I made us lose." "What?" Ming asked confused. How did K make them lose? "If I hadn't started that fight with Cat then we would have won then Tong Yao wouldn't have gotten hurt." "Did the blades in the box trigger you?" unable to answer verbally K only nodded his head yes. "Why didn't you walk away then? Or at least tell one of us?" Cheng asked him. "Couldn't. Besides you were helping Tong Yao. I didn't want to add on and be more of a burden." "K. Listen to me. You. Are. NOT. A. Burden." He told K who only nodded his head. How could he respond to that without making them mad? He had already bothered them enough with his problems. How, Why couldn't he get them to admit that they were tired of him. Ming from knowing K the longest and basically being the boys older brother automatically could see the wheels behind his head spinning and wanted to stop it but Lu Yu beat him to it. "Would help to communicate in another way?" "What do you mean?" "Well Kai, the way he would explain things to me was by writing letters. Is there anything like that might help." K thought for a minute before he realized he had already said everything. "My black notebook." He told K who understood and left to go grab it. K sat up in a half lying and half sitting position, resting his back against the arm of the couch while he waited. It didn't take long for Cat to find the notebook and bring it down stairs to K. They waited patiently while K flipped through it to find what he was looking for and then handed it to Ming. It was a song that said
Feel the weight of the world
Over me tonight
If I break, if I break down this time
Hope you know I tried
My mind's such a mess
I can't handle it
I'm at the end of my rope
I'm so sick of this
Just so over it
Why won't you let me let go?
My neck is breaking, body shaking
Sometimes it's so hard to breathe
But no-one sees it follows me
I always end up underneath
The weight of the world
(The weight of the world)
I don't like, like myself very much
Despite all your kind words
Can't explain why I'm hurting myself
But it feels deserved
My mind's such a mess
I can't handle it
I'm at the end of my rope
I'm so sick of this
I'm so over it
Why won't you let me let go?
My neck is breaking, body shaking
Sometimes it's so hard to breathe
But no-one sees it follows me
I always end up underneath
These thoughts won't rest
I can't forgive
I overthink until I'm sick
I'm too damn tired
Too worn to fight
I don't feel strong enough
To leave on the light
To leave on the light
My neck is breaking, body shaking
Sometimes it's so hard to breathe
But no one sees it follows me
I always end up underneath
The weight of the world
The weight of the world
Weight of the world
Feel the weight of the world
Over me tonight

Ming handed it around to the different people who were all teared up at the end. Tong Yao the last person to see, after she finished reading wrapped her arms around K in a tight hug. K hugged her back almost just as tightly. "Tell us next time. You don't have to do this alone. And if you don't I'll sick Biscuit on you." Tong Yao told him. K let out a tear laugh out at the last part. There new Mid wasn't joking though. She thought of K like an older brother and K thought of her like a little sister, they would do anything to protect each other even from themselves. "Why don't go back to sleep for a while." Tong Yao told him when a yawn escaped him. K was suddenly tired and nodded his head in agreement. Not wanting to go all the way up the stairs to his room he just lied back down on the couch and fell asleep. Everyone else quietly left the room to continue on with there days trusting in the fact that K would be alright as long as he had the others with him.