𝐼𝑛𝑘 𝑆𝑡𝑎𝑖𝑛𝑒𝑑 𝐻𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑡

Chapter 18: Why?

I stumble out of the bathroom and put on my best 'i didn't just find out crazy shit about you' face.

"I'm here, I'm here...."

"You alright? You seem a bit pale."

"Oh, uh I'm alright..my boss just gave me a big ass thing to do and it's due tonight!"

Great coverup...I hope.

"Really? They did that to you? That's such bullshit. Did you try reasoning with them?"

"Yeah, but they just won't budge....I'm sorry but you need to go home. I need to focus and just need some time by myself to get this done."

"Okay....well let me give you the gift first. Hopefully this is the right one I'm not great at this stuff."

He then reveals a small blue bag from behind his back and hands it to me. It has some weight to it and I open it the best I can without showing how shaky I am and it's a small bottle of perfume. Actually the perfume I've been out of for two weeks. It's a sweet gesture but with the situation right now I'm not sure how to feel so I put on a nice smile and give him a hug.

"Aw this is so thoughtful. Thank you."

I really hope I sound like I'm super happy because I don't need him picking my brain and me spilling right now.

"Mhm, anything for you."

And he really means ANYTHING...I've found that out the hard way.

"Well, I need to get going on this project. I love you though and I'll see you tomorrow."

"I love you too."

He kisses me on the cheek and he finally leaves, leaving me in a haze.

I carefully set down the perfume on the counter but not before noticing a note in the bottom of the bag. I take it out and read it to myself.

Dear Veronica,

Hopefully this brings you joy (and hopefully I picked the right one). People have been giving you undeserved shit just because they are unhappy with their own lives and you deserve to have some joy in your life. Their mindless words mean nothing and you are the most gorgeous and intelligent woman a guy could ever have. I'd do anything for you and I'll always be here when you need me. Our love is god.

Love,
Jd

I blankly stare at the note. Not analyzing, not re-reading, just staring.

Why couldn't this just work out?

Why does he make this so difficult?

Why couldn't we just be a normal couple in our twenties who goes camping or I don't know, eats some chili fries on a pier!

I wish I could say my twenties were going amazingly but all I've got to show for it is a body count and psychotic boyfriend.

-

I place the note back at the bottom of the blue bag with a sigh and start to pace my apartment.

How am I going to confront him?

The grand ball at Heather's is tomorrow!

Shit!

The timing couldn't be more impeccable.

Cancelling it feels wrong especially since I don't want to let Heather down. I'm not sure if I can let him sway me to Mozart though when I know the train is running in his brain but NOT ON ANY DAMN TRACKS.

Breathe.

You'll just confront him the day after.

I can't wait too long or I might not ever do it. That's what scares me. I know I got fight in me and I can confront him....but fight isn't the only thing I need to tell him what I know. Fight isn't the only thing that is going to get me through this.

I need courage and my emotions need to get in place so I don't break! I can't break if he says some mushy goddamn line! I just can't.

I have to end this before this bonfire turns into a forest fire and I'm trapped forever in the blaze as dead ash turned trees fall around me.

This won't be easy considering I felt like I found my person. I thought we would last y'know? However, lasting seems like a dream now. Something i'd put on a bucket list and never do.

My chest tightens and I can feel tears starting to sting my eyes and I catch myself.

Not now. I can't cry now. The worst hasn't even begun and if I cry now I might just cry when it actually comes down to it. I need to build immunity so I push the tears back and distract myself with getting ready to go to bed.

I go through the motions, trying to not let my brain wander too much.

It doesn't help sadly as when I get into bed it all comes flooding back.

I'll be lucky if I can go through with my plan yet I'd be even luckier to get some sleep at this point.

I close my eyes and desperately try and let the black take over.

-
QUICK AUTHORS NOTE

Yeah this was a shorter one but part one of the finale is next chapter so hopefully your excited! Thank you for sticking around if you made it to this point. I know my writing isn't the greatest but I'm glad I can share my ideas and have some fun getting lost in another world. I hope you've enjoyed this fic so far! Can't wait to see Whatcha think of the finale. Bye! <3