Burning Up (Jacob Black)

23. I Was Already Weak Enough

I didn't even pay attention to the crunching leaves and dirt underneath me as I trudged closer to try and better understand what was happening with Bella and that Cullen schmuck.

"As much as I love it when my food sings these beautiful songs for me before their fate is sealed, I really would appreciate it if you would keep it down." Cullen spoke in almost a whisper to her. If he was any quieter I wouldn't have heard it. "Or don't. It's music to my ears anyway."

"What are you going to do to me?" I heard Bella say breathlessly. It made my stomach churn as I pictured her face moving with that wretched sentence in her mouth.

And I was blind with rage again. No, it wasn't rage—I didn't even have a name for it. This wasn't an emotion listed in the dictionary with word division dots and a neat little definition underneath it. Although there was no language to describe it, I have felt this before. This was a familiar emotion to me. That feeling of being reduced to your animal instincts, like reverting to a survival-powered machine made of natural flesh. This was my superpower. Or what I had left of it. This right here was the leftovers of my werewolf gene. I could be brought right up to the brink, but never past the edge. It was torture in its own right. I nearly snapped the handle of the hatchet in half. I held back somehow. I was going to need it after all.

This feeling consumed every one of my senses taking up space in my head. It coursed through every inch of my body. It felt like not only my heart was beating, but every blood vessel and muscle fiber pulsated aflame with this cocktail of emotion incarnate. I thought if I lived through one second, then I would melt the next. And yet I kept burning up with this feeling beat after beat. The sensation alone was so deafening and all-encompassing that I could barely make out what they were saying anymore.

"What would... fun... in that? ...Keep my food in suspense.... Besides, today... more than just a rudimentary meal... My revenge... My sacrificial feast...!" I heard him say to her when I used all my might to concentrate.

There were more muffled voices that I simply couldn't screw my head on straight enough to discern. This shower of emotion felt like my muscles were locking up with every movement of mine. I made it my mission to move forward despite that. I trembled violently as I plodded forward through the thick mud.

A voice broke through the beating red.

"I'm so-o-o-rry-y-y-y!" I heard her sob. I nearly spontaneously combusted. I let the complete and utter instinct fasten around my soul and just take me away with it. No more locking in place. I started sprinting to her voice.

My hearing was so vast and clear that I had much more ground to cover than I had time. Trees became nothing but grayish blobs in my peripheral as I shredded inches away from tree bark and tore through bushes just to keep moving forward.

On top of the amount of headspace this animalistic feeling took up in my head, the wind howling in my ears from bolting through the forest made their voices completely inaudible. I only heard bits and blurbs of Bella's voice. The abrupt fragments of her voice made her sound like she was choking. I huffed furiously.

That's when I realized that this was all there was to hear. As I hurtled myself through the forest, my hearing became clearer and clearer and I realized these snippets of Bella's voice were simply all she was emitting. I heard her wheeze and stutter hoarsely before I heard a profound thud that was almost indistinguishable from my own thundering heartbeat—though I knew it wasn't my own.

I heard her start to whimper weakly and I nearly started screaming in unison with her. I felt my gruff voice tear at the sides of my throat in stifled groans as I kept running. I held the axe at the head of its handle with a death grip so it wouldn't even dare to slip out. My legs were already pumping me forward at full capacity, but I willed them to practically throw me forward with every step. I thanked whatever bearded dude sat in the clouds for giving me at least some perks with my not-so-werewolf state. If I only had human speed and strength, Bella would have been toast. I continued forward, shredding past the shrubbery.