Dared To Do It

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When Elizabeth entered the first period class of the day she could tell a lot of people there recognized her by the way they spared a few glances.

She was confident the entire student body expected the freshman's recognized her, and if the freshman's didn't already know her the gossip would reel them into the circle.

It was expected though since Ron did make a whole scene infront of everyone in the cafeteria that day. It was also included that Elizabeth's high school only had 700 students since it was a small school with lacks of money.

Elizabeth often wondered why he made the whole scene infront of everyone instead of breaking up with her in private. It was like he wanted to to prove a point, that he could do what he wanted and he never cared.

Her fist gripped her bag strap hard before she dropped it on the floor next to the table leg and took a seat.

English honors.

She prayed it would go smoothly and not make her want to end her existence. Not like she hadn't thought about doing it before, it was all she thought about at night when she couldn't sleep.

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English honors, American history and human biology all were torture and by the time it was to go to lunch Elizabeth was mentally drained.

She hated the entire half day but lunch was what she dreaded the most.

Would I see him, would he see me?

Would he even recognize me?

Is it bad that I hope he doesn't, Is it stupid I hope he dose?

All her thoughts were pointed towards him, like a big bright neon arrow on top of a bar.

As she came to a stop at the cafeteria doors students shoved past her as she hesitated. Some glared at her as she blocked their way to their friends and food but she ignored them.

As everyone piled into the doors Elizabeth was the last one in—and she still hasn't walked in.

She couldn't as hard as she tried to force her legs to move they never did.

She turned around and walked away from the big double doors but what stopped her was crashing into the chest of a guy that was also walking to the cafeteria.

Stupid, stupid, stupid, she thought.

"Sorry" She muttered and passed him without a glance.

After the embarrassment of the encounter with the crash she wandered the halls without a lick of lunch, dodging the hall monitors before she made it to the most vacated bathroom.

She would skip the rest of the school day if she could but then she thought of her parents and what they would think. So she stayed.

She sat on the floor next to the sinks, staying clear of the small puddles of water on the floor.

Than began her journey into self pity.

She always had some sort of pity session when she was alone, no tears but the sound of the drippy sink made it tempting to cry.

"What if I wake enough. What if I didn't satisfy him enough?" She thought out-loud.

Her father was always a dictator of her thoughts with boys. What to and what not to do, what her purpose was and what not. Her father was a strong believer in that women are just objects for men, nothing else. So when the time came he had to teach Elizabeth what her worth was he never said anything special.

If he heard what she thought about love, loving Ron, he would say " You don't have a heart to love, go do your homework"

Elizabeth chuckles at the irony.