~|°~ Little Poet's Diary ~°|~

~|°~ poet's vent ~°|~

Sometimes I forget that she loves me
She makes me feel underappreciated at times
I'm trying my harderst to just see
Her liking in me as my heart pounds

It pounds in stress and fear
I'm terrified of how it will come open
I'm putting wall over me... All this gear
And that makes me think... Am I broken?

I'm really trying to ignore her ignoring
Her neglecting me all the time. She says she has a lot to do, and I understand that. I'm familiar. Been there, done that... But... She can't expect me to just wait for days and weeks and months without the 'I' in I love you. Without the honesty and sparkle in her eye when she smiles. I can't go on without her words to calm me down because this situation got me thinking of another, where all I got told was 'it'll be fine'. And I'm scared that history will repeat itself and it makes me anxious in my stomach. And maybe I'm just overreacting, but take my best friend for example. I never worried he didn't like me. I never worried he would turn his back onto me, because he always reassured me even if not directly with his words. I really don't need all the 'I won't leave you' shit,

I'm just saying that if you really want me to be like glue to you, then you should stop pouring water between us to make me melt away.

I'm just the hopeless lover person who needs the love, or I would be just... The hopeless person, you know?

And I love her. With my whole ghost and body. I'm just sick that she doesn't see when I'm sad and when I need her. Because all people who once left saw it, even when they didn't care. I'm really disappointed in that. Not in her. But in her action in her brain that tells her I'm always the same. I'm sure she just sees me as the depressed one. Not the happy guy I become around her. And that's sad. You know? But I still love her and I stay because I'm a sucker and she needs me. It's always me. They need me, I come, but who comes when I need them? Who comes before the worms in my brain start feasting?