TORN

-Zero-

It's been 3 days. 3 days since I saw the light. The only thing I can see now are walls, white, I think.

That's at least what I saw when my room had a window. I miss the sun. The sun that shines at my body, making it seem gloomy. The sun isn't here anymore. It doesn't light up my room how it used to. Now it is just dark.

Darkness is the only thing I see except familiar silhouettes across my room. I'm not sure if they are real. Many people told me that I am just imagining things, I don't believe it. I know that there is something, something that is trying to reach out to me.

I have a feeling that they are trying to tell me something, showing me what I am, who I am.

I'm not sure what I am. I just believe that I am a human. But is humanity that cruel to lock people up? Even if they are slightly different, you'll be a danger to society. Everything has to be perfect.

Humans aren't perfect, in fact, they are far from that. I believe that there is a higher might that is with me, maybe saving me, or maybe pulling me deeper into the hole that I am in.

Or maybe there is something dark. These shadows are real, a devil pulling me into his embrace. I shouldn't think of that. It is not allowed to think of, what they call, "myths".

I heard that there are books that write about a higher might, but they got destroyed by these humans that want to gain that might.

Shadows. All I can see are these shadows. I don't want to see them, but they are all I have. Shadows that keep me company, shadows that comfort me in this room. They show me that I am not alone.

The rules have been broken and they will notice. They will take action. I know that something is coming towards me. I feel it. My friends, or shadows what I call them, they told me.

All these voices keep getting louder. I hear them scream. Scream in pain. I don't even know if it's all in my head or real.

I just know that there was a time when I screamed like that, not anymore. He comforted me. A man. I don't know exactly who he is, but I know that he works here.

He took care of me when I couldn't take it anymore. My head arched in pain, I couldn't see, couldn't move. I can't remember much, but I remember his eyes that bored into my soul.

If I even have one, if I even exist. He seemed unreal and too real at the same time. It was the first time in months that I felt calmness.

I know that he is here. Maybe even watching. No. Not maybe. I know they are. He is. I don't remember how I got here, but I remember how it felt. Nothing more than anxiety, pain. Even sickness was there. It all bored deep inside my head and these walls hold it all together. My emotions, my mind, my soul.

I don't belong myself anymore. They took all of me. They are here and they are not planning on letting me go.
I remember a child, I think called Arina, that lived in a small village. She was a beautiful child. Her hair shined when the sun touched her strands. Unlike mine. Mine doesn't shine anymore.

The kids eyes where full of happiness. You couldn't tell a single hint of sadness in them.

They took her away. 18 years. She lived 18 years in freedom. What does freedom mean today? I don't know. I just know that I want to feel it. I want to witness what freedom means. Just like Arina did.

I don't know where I got this memory from. All I know is that I will protect it with my heart. A memory that these people can't steal from me. A memory that they can't make me forget.

Dallas, I think that is his name. He had a white scrub on when I first met him. Just a white scrub and a ring. His eyes are the last thing that I remember about him.

I know that he is here somewhere. I know that he watches me. And I also know, that he will come.

Hey, if you're reading this, it means that you finished the first chapter of Torn. Im happy that you got this far. I hope that much more people will read this book and support me in my journey. That's all for now. Love y'all xx