Allie's POV:
"Matt?" Matthew continues to slouch unresponsively. "Matthew? You ready to roll?" Tom begins to console Matt from a far. "Matt?" I try to lower my voice and calm the tone. Matt remains in his troubled position. His chest rising and falling at an alarming rate. "I can't do this..." He whispers. His hands rub his face. "Matthew?" Amy calls out. Matt jogs out of the room, tears streaming down his face. "Matt." I follow him. "Matt, what's wrong?" His hair is already drying from the gel he applied to his hair before hand. Usually he doesn't use gel, why today? He will usually let his hair flop or it'll just naturally swoop to the side.
"I just, I'm afraid of something... I'm afraid..." His pacing develops a swell of unease within me. "I just can't go on there and seem all happy and act like everything is going to be fine, no one will miss me... I haven't done...eno-..." His arms begin to chaotically flail about. I decide to cause an intervention before his spiraling starves himself from any energy. "Matt..." His eyes fidget and dart from mine. "Matthew..." My voice begins to break. My heart begins to break for the man I love. "Matthew, please, listen to me." I attempt to grasp his small attention span. "You are doing this so you can focus on yourself. Focus on other things you've been dreaming of. Over a decade of uploading several videos a week. Not even YouTube could ignore your exiting presence. You are so strong and brave for taking time for yourself, and maybe someday you'll come back to create theories and help us support them."
Matt's attention slowly zeros in on me. "Maybe someday we'll be on the couch together again. Maybe we'll be creating scripts at 3 in the morning again running on caffeinated tea and gummies. I'm so happy for you, Matt. Of course we'll miss you and most of all I'll miss you. I'll miss zooming in and out on your face and fixing the lighting so your hair illuminates. My cheeks swell up, I can feel the heat snake up my body like the carnival strength test game. Matt's eyes grow damper. "Hey..." I wipe his tears from his eyes and fix his ferocious hair. "Here." I gently, non verbally ask for his hand and he allows me to take it. I lead him to two thoughtfully placed seats. A white board is set right in front of our view. I grab a purple marker, (the most used and his favorite color). A list appears as my hand scribbles downward.
I don't even look behind me to know that Matt is diligently reading my list. 'Educator', 'Creator', 'Philanthropist', 'Boss', 'Friend', 'Confidant', 'Host'. "What are these words for?" He asks in a dry tone. "You. They all perfectly describe you. It's just off the top of my head too, there are so many other things I could say, but right now, you need a pep talk." I theatrically close my marker and begin to tap beside each word I drew. "Educator. You educated everyone who has been and will be willing to listen to your fantastic voice and corny dad jokes. You have taught each and every single one of us so much. Before I even joined the team, I was a faithful theorist too." Matt's mouth start to create a crooked angle. "Creator. You've created THOUSANDS of videos for anyone and everyone. No matter what the topic was, you left no taste unsatisfied. You are so creative and witty that it's mind blowing sometimes. Like I get blown away by listening to you argue about how sonic is actually slow compared to someone else's video where he describes the speed of sonic." I'm no Italian, but my hands definitely explain that I might be. I have no record of any Italian in my family, but boy do i love talking with my hands.
"Philanthropist. Matthew," I squat down in front of him and I appropriately place my hand on his keen cap. His hand reaches out and grasps my other one so i can balance. "When we did charity Livestreams, I was so honored and touched to be invited to not only co-host it, but participate in it. Especially the Saint Jude one. I've never told you this but...there's no time like now." His eyes fixate on my expression. My chin begins to quiver and his grip fastened even tighter. "I had a little brother, his name was Sam. He was 12 years old, three years younger than me, when he was diagnosed with stage 3 cancer. We had no idea how long he'd live. He lived till about 13 I raised money for my school, but by the time i could afford even a halfway trip to the best treatment center and a quarter of a hospital room, he passed away. I never forgave myself." At this point, Matt and I are sobbing. Tears flow down our faces and fall to either my buckling knees or the floor. I end up collapsing and sitting on my bum for the rest of my speech, Matt kisses my hand unexpectedly.
"When I was invited to raise money for St. Jude, I dropped my shift at the time and came. This was just before I quit and became a full time theorist. When we played those games with so many other YouTubers and staff, I felt something deep inside me. I started to heal. Knowing that using those 12 hours to raise money, make others laugh and forget their troubles and help kids get the treatment they deserve and need, helped me heal. Because i know if my little brother was still alive, but struggling. I know that you would've thrown a surprise stream just for him. That's how much you love your team. When we raise money, we don't keep it for ourselves, I watched every last penny go to the hospital when we transferred the money, so i knew we weren't getting a single penny on our paychecks. You saved children, Matthew. You would've saved Sam. He would've loved watching you. He loved science and math. He'd tutor me, when he wasn't sick." Matt drops his head and begins to full on bawl. I cease my lesson and cradle him for a few minutes.
"Matthew." Style Theory's new host, Amy called gently. "It's time for the livestream." She strokes his back a few times. "I'm not ready to say goodbye to everyone." He sobs in my arms. "Amy, just give us one more minute." She nods sweetly and exits as swiftly as she came, "Matt, I know it's never easy saying goodbye, trust me. This isn't goodbye though. You'll still be there. I know it wont be the same and I know that you wont be hosting all 5 of your channels. You'll be hosting GTLive until you are ready to be done with that as well. You are so ready for retirement. You are so ready to move on and be with your family and find "the one" get settled down. You are going to be ok, i know it feels like the end of the world and your heart is being ripped out, but it will heal with time. You will be ok, love. I promise." I bite myself, did i really just say love? Matthew interrupts my words with his arms around my waist. "Thank you." He sniffles, "No worries, sweetheart. It's all gonna be ok. We're gonna be ok!"
My next sentence pauses and our lips tremble inches away from one another, "Allie?" He asks. I nod in quick response. Our lips touch for the first time. It might sound cliche, but fireworks erupt around us. Our hands wipe each other's tears away and smiles play on our faces. "I've loved you since the moment we first live streamed together. I loved seeing the way your face lit up when you got a term right, made me laugh, smile or said something witty. I want you to be on the couch with me and even when I'm gone. Will you be the new host of GTLive, when I decide I'm done?" He asks in between soft, fluffy kisses. I nod jovially. "Good." He smiles. "I know this probably isn't the best time to ask, but after we finalize this video, do you want to go out to eat?" My smile increases, "Like a date?" I ask as I get us loftily and lazily bring Matt to his feet. "Yes." He responds immediately. "I nod intensely, "YES!!" We both cackle and smile. I have an idea for the Final Cut before the camera turns off after we announce your new role. "What's that?" I ask.
Final Cut:
Before the cameras role, our eyes lock and we give each other a reassuring, firm head bob. A Violin melody of the "Game Theory Theme Song" creates a choked catch in my throat. Music has always moved me in a way, this definitely hits different though. "That's just a theory." Matt boisterously announces. As he walks by each new host, they answer what show they will be hosting. Matt slowly, but subtly catwalks behind them and right before he approaches me, he looks back to see them still watching the camera. He smiles at them one last time before approaching me and we raise our hand to high five one another up top and interchange to down low. Our mouths unknowingly quiver attempting to hold the large smile we have as we try to cover up the tears of leaving a show we cohosted. He opens the door and lets me exit down his stairs first and then he starts to march to the exit and turns around, "Thanks for watching." His tone was so fiery and rich unlike it was a a few minutes before when we held each other and sobbed. He slams the door and i am immediately greeted by him with a huge embrace. We both cry into each other as our 6 year partnership just blossomed into a new one. We start to chuckle as we hear the crew up above cheer and cry happy tears as well. "We did it." He chortles shakily. "We sure did, Matt." Our lips peck once again and he gracefully leads me upstairs to meet our team of new hosts.
