heatwave | Charles Leclerc | re-writing

Chapter 28

Monaco, January 2023 - Charles Leclerc

Victoria Marino. What to say?

I can count by my fingers the number of persons that I would actually kill for and Victoria is certainly the first one on that elaborated list.

In common words, she made me happier in different ways, ways that I hadn't even thought it was possible.

She has this incredible balance with her attitudes. She has class, elegance and power. She's untouchable, irresistable, confident and seductive. But at the same time, she's gentle, generous, funny and beautiful. That's why she's so unique.

It's definitely stupid to lose a girl like her. And, apparently, that's what I've just made. I had her right by my side. I just had to be with her when she needed, but I wasn't. She had told me how awfull her brother is and how bad she felt about it.

I wasn't lying when I told her about being busy with work. I had to catch a flight to Maranello last minute to solve some problems about the new livery and how we would promote it. But that doesn't change the fact that I could have texted her, and I didn't.

Victoria is loyal. That's probably the best and most beautiful trait of her personality. She has a heart bigger than her brain. Which is good but, at the same time, is a weakness. Everyone knows she's kind and accepts things, even if they're really bad, so they take advantage of that to turn her into a little toy that they can play with. She's naturally a people pleaser and, unfortunally, she doesn't know how to understand if someone is good for her or not.

Even though I was the one who clearly fucked it up, I am the one who is currently suffering because of it.

When Charlotte broke up with me, I knew exactly what it meant. I was honestly already waiting for it to happen. Things were not good anymore and it really was the best thing that happened, because if it didn't, I wouldn't date Victoria now. But Charlotte broke my heart. I accepted it, but I was really sad. I went to several clubs, pubs and bars with Lorenzo to forget it. And it worked.

The shocking part of this story is that this didn't happen with Victoria. It feels like a part of me isn't mine anymore. I love her like I never did. I feel things for her that I've never felt for anyone. Life doesn't have a meaning anymore. And it all just hurts. I'm living life in autopilot mode. My mind is currently a giant blank space with only one question: Why?

I was working out with Andrea in the morning and I couldn't even speak, think.

Why? Why, why, why? WHY THIS CHARLES LECLERC, WHY THIS? My life is already a big fat piece of shit and why did this need to happen now?

- Charles, are you even listening to me? - Andrea says, snapping me back to reality.

- No mate, I'm sorry.

- I was saying that this season, Ferrari is laying all its trust on you. You'll have to give everything, you'll need to push your limits and...

My brain malfunctions and I stop listening again. Everytime my foot touches the ground to leave it again is a time my brain repeats it. Why?

Why was I so dumb? She'll never want me again. I'm gonna die alone, that's it. The whole world will think I'm an idiot, love is not going to make any sense no more, my contract with Ferrari will catch Red Bull's wings and will fly to hell and I'll die depressive.

I indeed deserve all of this. I am, in fact, an idiot. Nothing more than a pretty face.

Jules and Dad are so disapointed with me. If they were alive, they would kill me. They must be really ashamed to be related to me right now.