Sold To Josh Groban

Chapter 4

The Not Josh Groban gives me a paper cup full of water. He seemed very concerned when I fell out of my chair at the news that he was actually from another dimension, so he took a break to retrieve some water and a piece of lemon cake for me.

Not Josh Groban waits until I've finished sipping the water to continue. "I know this will be hard to believe, but there's a multitude of universes out there. A multiverse, if you will. My universe is parallel to yours, meaning certain things are the same but others are different."

"So what brings you to this universe, Josh Groban?" I ask, taking a bite of my cake.

"You seem very nonchalant about all this," he voices.

"Well yeah, multiverse is only one of the most popular story tropes right now. There's at least three movies that came out last year explaining the concept of multiverse in extreme detail." I hint that myself and the readers would probably be bored with another multiverse explanation.

"Alright, I'll cut to the chase. Essentially, I got zapped into your universe by Ursula the Sea Witch and now I have no way of getting back to mine."

"So is that why you look younger than my universe's Josh Groban?" I ask. He nods.

"Much like in Narnia, time moves differently in different universes." I sigh in relief that this Josh Groban, who looks to be in his early 30's is much more age appropriate for me than my universe's Josh Groban. Not that it matters to me, but I'm sure the well meaning mother's of the people reading this story would pitch a fit if I was involved with a Josh Groban in his 40's.

"This makes logical sense," I say. "The real Josh Groban would probably get canceled if he bought a girl off the black market. But fake Josh Groban could get away with that no problem."

Josh Groban furrows his brows. "First of all, I am Josh Groban, I'm just a different Josh Groban from the one in this universe. Second, I didn't buy you off the black market. Your mom put up a listing for you on Facebook Marketplace."

That evil witch! Just the thought of her makes me furious. She didn't even bother to use eBay, a much more convenient and reputable site. She must have really despised me.

"Okay, but that still doesn't explain why you would buy me in the first place. How am I supposed to help you? And why couldn't you have just asked for my help instead of buying me like a psycho?"

Josh Groban sighs. "As I'm sure you know, the universe in which you currently reside is under the control of an eldritch being. The story of your life is just that, a story that is being written for the entertainment of her work friends." I nod. Anyone with common knowledge knows about the All Seeing One. "Well, in order to get people hooked on a good story, she's sometimes forced to use ridiculous plot lines to suck the reader in. Especially in the world of fanfiction, where the average reader's attention span is too short to finish reading a synopsis of the fic."

Makes sense to me. "The point, Nine, is this," Josh Groban steeples his handsome fingers together and looks down at me. "Ursula stole my voice before banishing me to this universe because she was jealous of my fame and notoriety. And because I got to duet with Celine Dion. In order to store enough energy to travel back to my world, I need to duet with a singer of amazing talent. Listen to me Éponine." His tone is suddenly serious.

"I know you think that just because you don't have formal training or you didn't do high school theater, you don't have what it takes. I'm telling you that you're wrong. I, Josh Groban, think your singing voice is astonishing and I'd be honored if you would sing with me also I'm in love with you."

"What was that last part?"

"I said I'd be honored if you would sing with me." Josh Groban extends a hand and I take it.

"Alright," I say nervously, "what's the plan?"